Miserable At Best
by sburke94
Summary: Aria's going to college, eager to leave Rosewood and the bad memories behind. What happens when a piece of her past shows up in an unexpected place?
1. I Can Live Without You, but

**Miserable At Best: Chapter One **

* * *

_"Because these words were never easier for me to say _  
_Or her to second guess_  
_But I guess_  
_That I can live without you but_  
_Without you I'll be miserable at best"_

_~Mayday Parade_

* * *

"**W**elcome to Washington University's Writer's Workshop."

I smiled at the elderly woman seated at the foldout table before me. "Thanks."

"This folder," she slid a blue packet towards me, "has everything you'll need for the workshop: schedules, biographies on the speakers, details about future workshops, etc. Now, what did you say your name was?"

"Montgomery. Aria Montgomery."

She nibbled her lower lip as she scanned the roster before her for my name. "Ah, yes. There you are. Go straight through those doors to the auditorium. The first lecture starts," she glanced down at her wrist watch, "in five minutes."

I nodded, thanked her again, and slid my folder into my bag.

The lights were already dimmed when I entered, and an elderly gentleman was setting up a projector on the stage. Hurriedly, I made my way to the front row, only to find there was one seat left.

"Excuse me." The man sitting in the seat beside it turned towards me. In the dim light, I could barely discern his face, but when he spoke his voice left no doubt as to his identity.

"No, I don't think-"

"Ezra?"

I sat down beside him.

"Aria? Wow- I mean it's wonderful to see you. What are you doing here?"

Had I not been so shocked myself, I would've laughed at his ridiculous question. "Attending the workshop."

He shook his head. "Right. Sorry, I guess that was kind of a dumb question."

"Yeah-" Before I could say anything else, the speaker coughed into the microphone, and began his lecture.

* * *

**L**ooking back, that was the most awkward forty-five minutes of my life. Knowing that he was beside me, smiling at me, after all these years, made me physically ache. Every so often, one of us would shift and our fingers, or legs, or feet, would brush against the others. The shiver sent down my spine each time that minute contact was made left my nerves on fire. How was it possible that he still made me feel this way? I'd glance up, wondering if he too, could feel the jolt when we touched. Much to my relief, our eyes would meet at the same time, and he'd smile shakily.

By the time the lights clicked back on, it felt like I'd forgotten how to breathe. Luckily, Ezra seemed to have recovered from the initial shock of seeing me again.

"Are you here for the whole workshop?"

"Yes." Nerves still on edge, I swept my hair to one side, hoping the familiar gesture would calm my raging emotions.

"This is-" he laughed tensely, "really lame, but could I have your number? I'd like to have dinner with you sometime. It's been a while."

"Sure. Here" I scribbled my number on a scrap of paper. He did the same.

"Thanks. Listen, I've got to run but-" He trailed off as a thin blonde woman appeared at his side.

"Aria," Ezra paused for a moment as the woman took his hand, "This is Christine. She's my-"

"Fiancée." Christine beamed as she spoke, extending her hands towards me to display the ring on her finger.

"That's some ring." I was speaking to her, but my eyes couldn't seem to leave Ezra's.

"I know. It's a little small, but one day I'll have a bigger one. Isn't that right, Ezra?" She squeezed herself to his arm tightly.

"Hmm? Oh. Of course. Christine, this is Aria. We met...She used to be..." Ezra seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Ezra and I lived in the same town in Pennsylvania for a short while."

"You never mentioned that you lived in Pennsylvania!"

I wasn't sure whether to feel relieved that Ezra had never spoken about our relationship, or hurt that he hadn't deemed me important enough to bother with.

"Well, I-" He rubbed the back of his neck; a gesture I knew as well as I knew how to apply eyeliner. He was obviously completely uncomfortable with the relationship. "I only lived there a short time. Aria was really the only person I became good friends with."

Ah. So we had _just _been friends. Christine however, seemed to pick up on what Ezra was not saying. Her eyes roamed over me, as if assessing the threat I posed.

"Aria, it was lovely to meet you, but I'm afraid we," she tugged Ezra's hand, "have got to go. We're having lunch before I fly home for a week."

"Oh. Well, congratulations on your engagement."

"Thank you!"

"Bye Aria. Maybe I'll see you at one of the other lectures?"

I nodded. "See you then."

Ezra gave a brief smile, before turning and heading back up the aisle of the auditorium, Christine clinging to his arm.

The earlier buoyancy and joy I'd felt at seeing him again had been crushed. Engaged? But he...and I...what we'd had...

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I sighed heavily. _Yeah right, Aria. In what world did you think that you and Ezra had something special? You were sixteen and he was your teacher. It was nothing more than a fling for him._

Though my inner monologue was wrong, I couldn't help but let the anguish seep in, leaving my eyes burning with tears.

* * *

The momentary bliss I'd found in the hot water of my shower dissipated with the shrill of my cell phone's ring tone. A glance at the screen revealed it was an unknown number.

Memories of my junior year, and the terror that "A" had caused shot like ice through my veins. I reeled myself in quickly. Fearing the unknown would get me nowhere.

"Hello?"

"Aria?"

I swallowed hard and wiped my suddenly sweaty palms on my towel.

"Ezra?" Sure, we'd exchanged phone numbers, but that was before I'd met his fiancée.

"Yeah. So I know I had to leave in a rush today, but um..." he paused and laughed rather shakily, "are you busy tonight?"

My eyes flitted about the living room of my apartment. Boxes were stacked against walls, still waiting to be unpacked. The situation was no better in the kitchen or my bedroom .

"Actually, I'm still unpacking, and it was a long drive so-"

"Later this week then?"

"Ezra I- tonight's fine. Did you want to go out?"

"Whatever you want."

"How about you pick up Chinese and come over here? That way I can unpack some more and not have to dig for something to wear."

"Sounds good. Text me your address and I'll be over there, say six-ish?"

"Alright. See you then."

After texting him, I quickly dried my hair and dressed in jeans and an cut off sweatshirt. There was no use in trying to impress him.

Five minutes after six he arrived. Even three years later, my first instinct upon seeing him was to remind myself to breathe. His appearance this particular evening did little to help my respiration.

It must have been raining outside; his hair was dripping, as was his grey t-shirt, leaving it clinging to his chest.

Noticing my gaze, he shrugged.

"It started pouring the minute I parked my car." He held up a plastic bag. "Mr. Woo's. Best in the St. Louis area!" Ezra grinned.

"Yum. I'm starving. Come in and we'll see if I can find you a towel to dry off with."

I stepped aside and allowed him to pass.

He scanned the apartment. "This is nice but," he pointed towards the boxes, "isn't that a bit much for a three day workshop?"

I laughed. "I told you I still had some unpacking to do! After all, a girl can never have too many pairs of shoes."

He laughed then, and I realized with a pang how much I'd missed him. I took the bag from his hand and led him into the kitchen. "I'm starting the University in a few weeks. My dad got the apartment for me. You know the whole 'divorced-parents-try-to-outdo-each-other kind of thing."

"Ah. Still planning on majoring in English?"

"Of course!"

We fell into silence, both of us shifting uncomfortably.

"I um- got you orange chicken. Is it still your favorite?"

"Yup." I pulled the containers from the bag and handed one to him. "We'll have to sit on the floor or", I hoisted myself up onto the counter top, "up here."

He followed my lead and sat on the counter opposite me.

"So, are you still in New York?"

"No, I only stayed there until the end of the year. I teach at a private school here now."

"I see."

"It's not a bad job really, and I get paid a good deal more." He laughed softly.

I forced a smile. It was strange to go from talking about everything, to not speaking at all, and now having to make awkward small talk.

"Christine seems nice." I couldn't help the edge in my voice. Even if I had tried to convince myself that we were only friends, the old jealousy still reared its head.

"I-she is nice."

"How did you meet her? She's obviously too old to be a former student."

He blanched at my words. "Aria." The agony on his face made me regret my biting barb.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

He nodded. "I met her at a party. Friend of a friend kind of deal. She's a math major at the University. She'll be a senior this year."

Somehow, I pushed past the pain at knowing he was someone else's, and laughed. "A math major? With an English teacher?"

"Unusual. I know."

Finished eating, I set the carton on the counter. He did the same.

"So."

"So?"

"It must be hard moving to a new city, leaving all your friends behind."

I swallowed hard. In all actuality, leaving Rosewood hadn't been all that difficult. Most of the memories there weren't all that fantastic. The old anger welled inside, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stave it off. "This isn't hard. Hard is having your parents' divorce, a murderer stalk you and your boyfriend leave without saying goodbye. That, Ezra, is hard!"

I was volatile, my emotions encased like dynamite, ready to combust with the first touch of a flame. Ezra had just struck a match. "I cried myself to sleep every night for a month after you left! Ezra, why didn't you say goodbye?" My voice rose as I spoke, choked every few words by tears. "Thanks for dinner, but I think you need to leave. I don't know what I was thinking letting you come."

I started towards the door, intending to show him out, but he slipped down from the counter and grasped my arm.

I glanced down to where his hand gripped my arm, and then back to his face. Instantly his hold slackened.

"Do you think it was easy for me?"

"Clearly. Did you know that I haven't been with anyone since you left?"

"Why?"

"Because, Ezra," I sighed heavily and wiped away falling tears," when you love someone, even if they don't feel the same, it feels like betrayal."

"What makes you think I didn't feel the same?" He was moving closer, hands lightly brushing my waist.

"Ezra, I really think you should go." He took a few steps towards me, backing me up until my back grazed the counter. "Please?"

He nodded and moved to stand on the other side of the kitchen. "I'm sorry. It's all I've thought about for years, alright? There are nights when I still feel like such an asshole for leaving you like that…for leaving you at all. But I can't change that Aria! I wish I could. I'd give anything if I could!" He ran a hand through his hair and drew a ragged breath. "But…I can't. I can't."

"I know." I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around myself.

"I just thought we could have dinner, catch up, and talk for a bit. That's it. I swear I didn't mean for things to play out like this."

"I know."

I glanced at the clock. It was getting late. "I-thanks for dinner." The tension between us was palpable and I wanted nothing more than to relax it, relax both of us. "I can't believe you remembered orange chicken was my favorite." He lightened up at that and smiled ruefully.

"Well, it seemed like it was all you ever ate. I had hoped you hadn't grown sick of it."

I grinned. "Never."

"So-I…it's getting late. I should probably be heading out. Need my help to clean up?" He gestured to the take out containers and utensils.

"I got it. Thanks again for dinner. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Goodnight, Aria."

I followed him to the door.

"Goodnight, Ezra."


	2. From Where I Stood

"_There were sounds in my head, Little voices whispering__  
__That I should go and this should end__  
__Oh and I found myself listening"_

_

* * *

_

Sleep didn't come easy that night. I rolled one way and then the other. Pushed the blankets off. Pulled them up again. Curled onto my side. Stretched out. Nothing seemed to work. I blamed my lack of rest on my uneasy mind. The initial ache I'd felt at meeting Christine had settled heavily in my belly, leaving a weight of sadness that seemed nearly unbearable. Flashbacks from years ago, just after Ezra had left, grieved me. Only this time, it seemed one million times worse. I had no hope. No hope of him returning. No hope of him trading in the gorgeous, thin blonde for my plain brown eyes and petite stature.

When sleep did come, it was too late. Less than two hours after finally succumbing to my fatigue, the alarm buzzed on my phone. I shut it off quickly, the incessant cheerful music grating on my frayed nerves. Today was going to be hell. One shower, two frozen waffles, and some hairspray later, I was ready to face hell.

The morning lecture hall was packed when I arrived, and I managed to snag a seat between a young girl who couldn't have been more than fourteen and an elderly gentleman. It seemed like safe territory. It was. The speaker was passionate about his topic, and I found myself slightly disappointed when the lights brightened once again.

"Now, there are sandwiches in the lobby. We're going to take a brief lunch break before the area specific lectures begin." The speaker stepped off the stage and headed for a side door.

* * *

I sat in one of the window seats in the lobby, picking half heartedly at my ham sandwich and grapes. My restless night was catching up with me and I found myself growing drowsy in the warmth of the afternoon sunlight. I glanced over at the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes until lectures began again, plenty of time for a walk outside. Fresh air would do me some good.

I wandered aimlessly along the graveled path of the University's park for a few moments, before settling on bench near the fountain. I tipped my head back, letting my dark hair cascade over the bench, closing my eyes and tilting my face towards the sun.

"You're on my bench."

My eyes snapped open. A man about my age stood before me; book in one hand and an apple in the other.

"Excuse me?"

"It's my bench. Has been since last year."

"I'm sorry." I glanced at my watch. "Actually, I need to get going anyway. Here," I stood and gestured towards the bench, "it's all yours."

He sat down. "Thanks. I'm Lee by the way."

I smiled softly. "Aria. Listen, I've really got to go."

He nodded, and cracked his book open. "Maybe I'll see you around sometime."

I slipped my bag over my shoulder and headed back down the path from which I'd come.

"Aria?" Gravel crunched behind me and I whirled around. Lee stood just a few feet away, my cherry red sunglasses in his hand.

"I think these are yours. You left them on the bench."

I took them from his outstretched hand and set them on top of my head. "Thank you."

"No problem."

I watched as he sat back down on the bench and took a bite of his apple before turning to go again.

* * *

People were just starting to leave the lobby when I arrived, branching off into various hallways to find their lecture rooms. Mine was up a floor and I headed for the elevator. I punched the button impatiently, tapping my foot impatiently.

"Hey."

One word and just like the butterflies were back in my stomach. Ezra stood beside me, hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips.

"Hey." I shifted my bag on my shoulder. "What's your next lecture?"

"American Classics. You?"

My eyes flickered shut for a moment. Of course. "The same."

Just then the elevator doors slid open, and we, along with a few other people shuffled in. I stood on the opposite side of the elevator, staring at the fire safety information, the emergency call panel, anything but him. His gaze remained on me for the entire ride, the heat of it searing me. I bolted from the elevator determined to place as much distance between Ezra and I before I did something incredibly stupid. Like smile at him. Talk to him. Hug him. Kiss him. Love him.

He was too quick. Within seconds he'd caught back up with me, his long legs easily matching my quick steps.

"Aria, slow down. We're not going to be late." He caught my hand and tugged me to a standstill. "I'm sorry again about last night."

"Forget it, Ezra." My words had come out so harshly and I hated myself for hurting him. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I've been such a bitch about everything. Friends?" Internally, I grimaced. I'd never hated the word as much as I did at that moment. There was no way I'd ever be able to be _just_ friends with him. It was all or nothing.

He relaxed and smiled at me. "Sure."

In silence we walked entered the classroom, choosing chairs near each other, but not next to each other. Next to each other was too close. Far too close.

* * *

The lecture, while interesting, grew monotone at some points and I found myself zoning out. I needed to get a hold of myself. Stop the wall of emotion that threatened to crumble each time Ezra was near. It wasn't fair to him, and I was only hurting myself. Maybe tonight we could grab coffee and catch up like he'd wanted to last night. Coffee was good. Coffee was safe.

At two the lecture ended. I stood and thanked the professor, and then waited patiently as Ezra collected his notes.

"I umm-well I just," Why was this so hard for me? It wasn't like I was asking him on a date. "I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee tonight. Catch up like you wanted to last night."

"Sounds like a plan to me. Listen, there's this great coffee shop on 5th street. I'll meet you there, say eight-ish?"

"Eight's good."

"Great. Well, I've got to go. I have one more lecture and then I've got to head home to finish unpacking. I'll see you tonight then?"

"It's a date."

The implications of what he'd said struck us at the same moment. He grew flustered and stammered out an apology. "That's not what I- I mean I didn't…"

I bit my lip in a pitiful attempt to stifle my laugh. "It's alright, Ezra. I know what you meant."

He relaxed then and followed me out of the classroom.

"Until tonight, then?"

I nodded and we parted ways, he heading for the elevator and I heading down the hall. He had a fiancée. It wasn't a date. Was it?

* * *

By the time eight o' clock rolled around, I was a wreck. I'd changed my outfit twenty times before I'd left my apartment, gotten lost twice, and was so nervous I felt sick to my stomach. My confusion over my worry only made it worse. It was just coffee, between just friends. Why then did I feel like I was going into battle to win him back?

I sat at a table near the window, sipping on my iced coffee when he arrived.

"Ezra! Over here."

His face lit up when he saw me, and he wove his way between the tables to me. "This place is packed! I've never seen it so crowded."

I scanned the small shop. Funny, in my nervous state I hadn't noticed all the people before. He sat across from me, his foot brushing against mine as he settled in his chair.

We sat awkwardly in silence for a few moments, neither of us sure where to begin. Finally, finally, I worked up the nerve to say something.

"Why St. Louis? It's pretty far from home."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It was a job, and it paid well."

"Do you like it?"

He laughed and that familiar pain tugged at my stomach again. "Most days. High school students aren't always the most cooperative though."

"What about you? How'd you settle on the University?"

"I won a scholarship for an essay I wrote."

"On?"

"My favorite piece of American Literature."

"What book did you choose?"

I took a long sip of my coffee, debating whether to tell him the truth or not. "To Kill a Mocking Bird. I knew it well and writing that essay was therapeutic for me. It helped me cope with things."

He nodded as if he understood. "Writing does that. I had a book published."

"Really?" I grinned broadly. It'd always been a dream of his.

"Yeah. I mean it didn't top the best sellers list or anything, but it's selling pretty well."

"Can I read it?"

"Yeah. I actually brought a copy for you. You can keep it if you like." He rummaged in the pocket of his coat for a moment, before pulling out a hard backed, green and gold book. I took it from his hands, and traced the title of it with my fingernail. _Gone Away From Me. _"Just promise me, you won't laugh when you read it."

"Never."

* * *

Conversation flowed freely from then on. We spoke of my parents, of the girls, of St. Louis, of so many things. It was nearly eleven before either of us realized how long we'd been sitting there.

"We should head out. Looks like they're about to close up." Ezra gestured towards a shop girl sweeping on the far side of the room.

"Yeah, I guess we should. " Slowly I slid out of my chair and slipped on my jacket. I was sad to see the night to come to an end. It was like the two years had never happened. In those three hours there was no Christine, no painful history between us, no reality. There was just the two of us. Ezra and Aria. Just as we'd always been meant to be.

He followed my car, claiming that he wanted to make sure I made it there safely. I didn't mind. After tonight I wasn't sure when I'd see him again. We stood there on the sidewalk, under the glow of the streetlight, staring quietly at each other. Impulsively, I hugged him. His arms came round me, fitting perfectly against my curves like they always had.

"Thank you for tonight. It was fun." I tilted my head up to look at him.

"It was, wasn't it? I missed you, Aria. I'm glad you're here."

I moved to step away from the hug, but he didn't loosen his hold on me.

"Ezra-"

"Hush." His lips brushed mine softly, once, twice, and then again. I snapped. My arms twined around his neck, pulling him closer, pressing myself to him fully. He deepened the kiss, parting my lips with his own. I basked in the sweetness of his kiss. It was something I thought I'd never feel again.

I broke away softly, sinking back down onto my feet and moving a few paces way. "I'm sorry." I wasn't really, but somehow saying it made me feel like what we'd done was less wrong. Maybe we'd be able to brush it off as an accident. "I didn't think. It won't happen again."

"It was my fault. I kissed you." He ran a hand through his hair. "I've got to go." And just like that he left. No good bye. No see you later. Just an _I'm gone_.

I didn't think my heart could break beyond the damage he'd inflicted the first time. Somehow, this time around it seemed far worse.

Blinking back tears, I slid into my car and started it up. Screw him. I was done with it all. Done pretending something could ever happen between us. Done letting myself get involved. Done loving him. Screw it all.


	3. Pick and Choose

**Miserable At Best: Chapter Three**

* * *

_"It's so simple and you know it is__  
__You know it is, yeah__  
__We can't be too and fro like this__  
__All our lives"_

_~Just Say Yes by Snow Patrol_

_

* * *

_

My tears had dried by the time I woke the next morning. Sometime between midnight and two o' clock my resolve had hardened, I was done with him. My heart was done. Still, making a decision and living with it were two entirely different things. I knew deep down that if I saw him at the conference, even if for just a fleeting moment, I'd back pedal on my decision. So instead I opted for a cozy day in, with a plan to venture out later in the afternoon.

I showered, made myself an omelet, and then curled up onto my newly purchased couch for a lazy TMC movie session. A little Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman could solve just about any problem. My mind however didn't seem to get the memo that I wanted a break. Memory after memory assaulted me, days spent just like this one with Ezra, cuddled away in his apartment, exchanging tender kisses during commercial breaks. Tears stung the corners of my eyes and I groaned in frustration. For two years this had haunted me. Would it ever stop?

Annoyed, and searching for an escape I reached for my purse. Maybe I'd call up one of the girls and talk to them for a bit. It'd do me some good. I fumbled around for a few seconds, and unable to find it, I dumped the contents of my bag onto the coffee table. My phone, along with Ezra's book tumbled out. The little green book which I'd been so excited to crack open last night now seemed like another burden to bear. His writing was him. He, like most other writers put his soul into his work. Reading it would be like reading into him.

It was something I couldn't do at the moment. I couldn't afford to; the price of doing so was simply too high. Tossing it aside, I clicked on my phone: fourteen new messages. The first was from my dad, the second from my mom. I responded to both, assuring them that I was settling in just fine and I'd call them later. Unfortunately, the latter twelve were from Ezra.

_I'm sorry. Call me, please?_

_Last night…I'm not sure what happened, but I need to see you. _

_Aria, I know you're angry but I…we need to talk okay? I can't lose you. _

The next eight were like the first three from him, begging me to call, apologizing profusely, and almost desperate in nature. The last however, was different.

_Just read my book. _

Warily, I glanced at the little novel beside me. Curiosity got the best of me. I wrapped myself in a throw blanket and settled back onto the pillows, before opening the book.

There, on the very first page was a dedication.

_**To B-26,**_

_**You'll never know the difference you've made in my life. You showed me what love was, what it should be. I threw it away, and for that I am the greatest fool of all. Know that I think of you today, tomorrow, and every day for the rest of my life. **_

I bit my lip to stifle the sob that threatened to escape. I hated him in that moment. He'd ruined things for both of us the day he left Rosewood and it was a decision that would haunt both of us for the rest of our lives. I flipped to the next page, reading the words, but not comprehending them; then the next page, and then the next. An hour and half later I'd read the entire thing, but had no concept of what it was really about. I dropped it into my lap and stared transfixed at the gold lettering on the cover before it became blurred by my tears. Damn him.

The buzzing of my phone on the coffee table broke the moment. It was him. I hesitated for a moment, but decided to answer it. There were things that needed to be said before we broke it off forever.

"Ezra, listen we need to –"

A knock at the door interrupted me. "Hold on just a second, someone's at the door." I twisted the dead bolt with one hand, cradling my phone to my ear with the other. I dropped it the minute I opened the door.

"Ezra? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you, to apologize for last night."

I stared at him for a moment, before bending down to pick up my phone. Opening the door a bit wider I allowed him to enter.

"Aria, I-"

I slammed the door and whirled to face him. "No! I need to talk; you need to let me get this out!" His eyes widened at my anger and he backed up a few steps. "I read your book. How could you write that-feel that- and leave me the way you did?"

"I-" He fumbled for an excuse and couldn't seem to find one.

"And last night, you're engaged Ezra! Or have you forgotten? You kissed me! Kissed me! Then you walked away like it meant nothing, like you did two years ago."

"No, I remember. But you have to understand that things aren't-going well between Christine and I." He rubbed the back of his neck and slumped his shoulders.

"So you plan to leave her too? Brush her off like you did me? What kind of man does that make you?"

"Aria, please.." He moved towards me, placing his hands upon my arms. "It's not like that. I'm not sure how to feel. I was so sure that I'd moved on- that I'd finally forgotten you…and then you're here and I…"

I slapped him, leaving a red welt across his cheek. "Damn you! I hate you! I hate you." My shoulders shook with my sobs and I wiped tears away in futile attempt to clear my vision. "You can't do this. We can't do this." I straightened up and met his desolate gaze with my own. "I won't let you break me again."

I'd never seen a man cry before. Not when my mother left my father. Not when my father had lost his brother. Never. It was almost more heartbreaking than I could bear. Seeing Ezra, always the strong one, with tear tracks staining his face was more gut wrenching than anything I'd seen before.

He crossed the room and reached to cradle my face within his hands. "Aria, I can't lose you again. I look at you and I- I just forget everything. I love you. I've never stopped." He pressed his lips against mine gently, tears tainting our kiss and leaving a lingering salty taste.

Ezra broke away and drew a ragged breath. "But you're right. I can't throw away Christine. We've been through a lot together and she's always-"

I placed a finger against his kiss swollen lips and found the strength within me to give a hoarse laugh. "We may be able work on this whole friends thing, but I can't listen to you talk about her. And," I disentangled myself from his arms, "we can't do this."

He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "You're right. So I guess I'll see you around sometime?"

I managed a weak smile. "I'd like that."

"Goodbye, Aria."

I opened the door for him and watched him walk away. "Goodbye, Ezra."

Somehow, even though it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, I felt at peace. Maybe we really could put everything behind us and make the friends thing work. I sighed as I picked up his book to place it on the book case. Maybe.


	4. Everybody Needs A Little John Mayer

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 4**

* * *

"_Pain throws your heart to the ground__  
__Love turns the whole thing around__  
__Fear is a friend who's misunderstood__  
__But I know the heart of life is good"_

~Heart of Life by John Mayer

* * *

The next few days passed quickly, full of unpacking and exploring, finding my way around, and enjoying the last few days of summer. By the time Monday rolled around I felt ready to conquer college. My first class, creative writing, was packed by the time I arrived. Just a few seats remained in the back and I hurriedly claimed one, unwillingly to be left standing in the back of the room. The teacher was a middle aged woman, vibrant and passionate about what she was doing. The lesson quickly flew by and before I knew it I was navigating my way towards the mess hall.

It wasn't as easy to find as the map made it look. I stood in the courtyard, twisting the map one way and then the other, trying to make sense of the mazes of streets that looped around the campus.

"Need any help with that?"

I glanced over my shoulder to find the guy I'd met the other day. Beside him stood a girl that looked as confused as I was at the moment.

"Actually, I'm trying to find the cafeteria. It's Lee, right? I think we met the other day."

He pointed at a building on the map. "We're here." His finger traced a path to the other side of map. "Cafeteria's over here. Why don't you walk with Erin and I? It's her first day too."

"Sure." I fell into step alongside them. We chatted as we walked. Erin was from Arizona, tanned to perfection and her hair as blonde as Hannah's. The resemblance between this girl and my best friend made me long for home, for the familiarity of it, for the sanctuary it offered. The more we spoke, the more I discovered we had in common. We liked the same books, the same music, and we discovered upon our arrival to the cafeteria, the same food.

* * *

The three of us ate together, before Lee dashed off, muttering something about a physics class. Erin and I laughed at his hurry.

"I hate science, math too for that matter."

"Me too. English is just so much easier. What's your next class?"

"American History. Yours?"

She grinned. "The same! This is going to sound really lame, but I'm glad we ran into each other. You're the first person I've really met out here, besides Lee of course."

I nodded. "It's hard being out here and not knowing anyone." Finished eating I started clearing my place. "Ready to tackle history?"

Erin laughed. "Sounds like a plan to me!"

* * *

I didn't make it home until nearly seven that night. After history, Erin and I had explored the campus, familiarizing ourselves with its layout and learning about each other in the process. It felt good to have a friend.

After changing into sweats and throwing my hair up into a ponytail, I set about making my dinner. I'd just set the noodles on to boil and finished chopping tomatoes when there was a knock at my door. Frowning, I dried my hands off and glanced through the peephole. It was Ezra and he looked terrible.

The happy bubble that had surrounded me all afternoon burst. I didn't feel like another emotional confrontation, not when my day had been so fantastic, but I couldn't leave him standing there, not when he looked as miserable as he did at the moment.

Swinging open the door, I let him in. "Ezra, what's wrong?"

He shook his head. "We need to talk." The way he said it, with such finality, left my stomach churning.

"Sure, we can talk. I'm making dinner, enhanced macaroni and cheese. You're welcome to stay if you like."

He relaxed for a moment and managed a small smile. "I'd like that." I headed back into the kitchen, with him following behind.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I swallowed thickly. I already knew the answer.

"Us."

"Ezra, there isn't an us. We've been through this. We're better off as friends."

"You don't mean that." He stared at me accusingly, daring me to disagree.

"You're engaged, and I'm-"

He cut me off. "Was. I was engaged."

I dropped the spoon I'd been stirring the noodles with the floor. The clatter of it echoed the staccato rhythm of my pulsing heart. He wasn't engaged anymore? I shifted uncertainly, hesitant to ask him if I'd heard him right. "You're not- but I thought, I mean you and she-"

My voice faltered and I turned to face him. "It's my entire fault. I'm so sorry, Ezra."

"I'm not. I was going to do it, end it, but she beat me to it. When I got home the other night her stuff was gone. It was like she'd never been there, except for a letter she left taped to the fridge."

"Why did she- you guys just seemed so happy that first day."

"Same reason I was going to end it. She said she didn't think things were going to work. That she loved me but we were too different. That when she'd gone back home she realized things-" He shook his head and trailed off.

I turned off the stove and moved the pot off the eye before moving to stand beside him. "I'm really sorry, Ezra." I placed my hand gently on his arm. "I really am."

His hand closed over mine and he drew them to his chest. "I'm not." The heat in his gaze sent a shiver down my spine, leaving an ache low in my belly. "At least not for the most part. I wish she'd done things differently, but I can't really change that."

I nodded and moved away to drain the pasta and mix in the sauce and tomatoes.

Half an hour later he and I sat on the couch, both of us trying and failing miserably to pay attention to the movie that was on. Finally, I gave up and muted it.

"Why did you come-to see me I mean?"

He turned towards me in confusion. "What?"

"Your fiancée left you and you came here? Why?"

Ezra sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know. It just- I felt like I needed to tell you."

"Oh."

"And I wanted to see- well I wanted to ask you if there was a chance for us? I know it seems too fast and I-"

"It is too fast, Ezra. You need to take some time for yourself. Christine may be gone, but you can't pretend that the two of you never happened."

"I know! It's just-I'm scared of losing you, alright? I'm scared that one day I'm going to come by and there's going to be someone else." He reached over and brushed my cheek with a light caress of his hand. "I've screwed things up once. I can't risk doing it again."

"Hey, now." I slid closer to him, running a hand through his hair before taking his hands within my own. I couldn't help but marvel at how perfectly his fingers interlocked with mind, our hands fitting together like puzzle pieces. "You're not going to lose me. I'll always be here and I'm not saying never, because there's nothing I'd like more than to give us a shot outside of the classroom."

He chuckled harshly and I smiled. "Just slow, alright?"

"Slow is good."

I brushed my lips across his knuckles before resettling back on my side of the couch. "Can we watch the movie now?"

"Sure. But first," his arm wrapped around my waist and tugged me close to his side, "I need to get comfortable."

I giggled as he readjusted the two of us so that I was leaning against his chest, wrapped snuggly in his arms. "

"There," he whispered, "perfect."

I rolled my eyes as I turned to volume back up. Relaxing further, I intertwined my fingers with his. His lips brushed my forehead in response.

"Ezra?"

"Hmm?" He lifted his chin from the top of my head to look down at me.

"How slow is slow?"

His answering laugh made everything worth it.


	5. A Beautiful World

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 5**

"_The shapes and patterns in this season make me feel alive__  
__I want to shout it from the roof top and tell the world__  
__That, I was blind but now I see what's right in front of me!__  
__It's a beautiful world I see, everything looks differently__  
__It's a beautiful world I see, these moments are changing me?"_

~ A Beautiful World by Tim Myers

* * *

Life settled into an easy rhythm after that. My days were spent at the campus, exploring the diversity of my classes, enjoying the company of new friends, and growing a little further outside of my realm of comfort with each new experience. Evenings passed quickly with Ezra by my side, dinners down by the river, coffee at the bookstore, lazy hours spent watching movies.

But the loneliest part of the day, the dark span of time between sunset and sunrise, I saved for myself. To be honest I needed the solace. It gave me time to unwind, to catch up on homework, to catch my breath after whirlwind days. Erin was quickly becoming a new best friend and I soon found myself spilling everything about Ezra and I. She didn't understand my reluctance to let things progress farther, and was constantly urging me to take a leap of faith. I ignored her advice for the most part. I wasn't ready to put myself on the line yet.

True to his word, Ezra was letting things go slowly. The time we spent together was innocent enough, an occasional hug or brush of a hand, nothing more. Tension was building however, and I wasn't sure how much longer we could keep up the charade we were playing at. There were times I ached for his touch with such a ferocious pain that I wanted to curl into a ball. Things weren't much easier for him. Often, I'd catch him watching me, with such a hunger in his eyes that I wanted to forget the slow and jump into the hot and heavy. But I didn't. We didn't.

As the days grew into weeks and the weeks into months I began to realize that it wasn't just my head that refused to completely allow him in. It was my heart. I was afraid to let him in again for fear that it would be trampled again. Both of us were. So we kept up the dance we played at, moving closer with each beat of the music, edging precariously close to the fine line that kept best friends from becoming lovers.

* * *

It was an early October day when my actions threatened to collapse the wall we were struggling so hard to keep in place. Erin had come over for the evening. We'd been planning a out for weeks, finally settling on going clubbing with a few friends from the University.

She sat on my bed, fiddling with the straps on her heels while I finished straightening my hair.

"So, what's the name of club we're going to again?" I set the hot iron down onto the counter top and ran a hand through my hair to shake it up a bit.

"Rue 13. Jess and Lee are supposed to meet us there, along with half a dozen other people."

I nodded and cast on final glance at my appearance in the mirror. Satisfied I moved over to the bed where she sat and pointed towards two outfits I'd laid out earlier in the evening. "Which-"

My question was cut off by a knock at the door.

"Could you get that?"

"Yeah." She bounced off the bed and headed out of the bedroom. "I'd go with the blue one."

Hurriedly, I slipped the shimmery dress of the hander and onto my body. I'd never worn it before, but as it settled over my curves I remembered why I'd bought it in the first place; it fit like a glove.

"Erin, who is it?" There was no answer.

I bent down to slide on a pair of patent leather black heels.

"You didn't tell me he was so hot!" Erin had entered the room unnoticed into the room, and her sudden appearance startled me.

Straightening up, I glanced back at her through the reflection in the mirror. "Who is?"

"Ezra. I'd have told you screw the slow thing a long time ago if I knew he looked like that."

Jaw dropping, I whirled to face her. "He's here? Did he say why?"

"In the living room as we speak. Do you want him to go or something?"

I shook my head. "No. Go talk to him or something. I'll be out in just a second."

She grinned at me as I readjusted my hair and dress again. "Girl, you have it bad."

"Shut up."

Her laughter followed her out the door and I couldn't help but grin. Did I ever. Three minutes later I decided my make up was as good as it was going to get. Slinging my coat over my arm, I headed out into the living room.

The reaction I got was completely unexpected.

"Damn, Aria. Looking to break a few hearts tonight?"

I laughed and did a little twirl. "That good?" My gaze wandered to where Ezra stood by the couch, "what do you think?"

He eyes roamed over my figure, and I could feel the blush rising to my cheeks. "I think," he crossed the room and took my hands within his own, "that you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

I laughed and hugged him. "Do you think I'll break hearts?"

He smiled. "Let's just hope it's not mine."

A grin formed on my lips and I kissed his cheek in response. "Never," I whispered.

I moved away to set my coat down and place my phone and debit card in my clutch.

"So where are you girls headed?"

"Rue 13. We're meeting a bunch of friends to let loose a bit before midterms." Erin slid off the barstool she'd been perched on. I'd nearly forgotten she was in the room. "Why don't you come with us, Ezra? You can buy us drinks."

"Erin!" I bit my lip and glanced uncertainly at Ezra. _Sorry_ I mouthed. I loved Erin dearly, but at times she was a wild card.

"I don't know if-"

"Oh come on. It'll be fun. What do you think, Aria?"

I met Ezra's gaze and arched my eyebrows at him. "He can come. If he can keep up, that is. And," I winked at Erin, "he has to dance with me."

The roguish grin of his that didn't show up too often formed on his lips. "Count me in."

Erin and I laughed.

"I hope you know what you're getting into." Erin buttoned her jacket and headed for the door.

Ezra helped me into my jacket and handed me my clutch before speaking to Erin. "Oh, I have a pretty good idea."

* * *

The club was packed by the time we arrived, music thumping and bodies swaying along to the beat. Erin led the way towards our table at the back, with Ezra and I following behind.

Lee and the others were already there and I introduced Ezra to each of them in turn.

"So," Erin reached over and took Lee's drink, "who's ready to party?" Cheers went up around the table and Ezra wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"There's no way I'm going to remember all of their names," he whispered into my ear.

I grinned. "You don't have to." His close proximity, while enjoyed, was doing very little to help me maintain my role as an innocent best friend to him. The saucy courage I'd had earlier in the evening had dissipated somewhere between here and the apartment. Needing space, I slid into the booth made room for him to sit beside me.

"So, Aria, what's it going to be tonight? The usual or are you feeling a little adventurous tonight?" Lee's question sent up laughs around the table and I flushed.

"Just the usual tonight."

"Aria, come on, where's your sense of adventure? Take a walk on the wild side tonight!" I laughed at Jess's remark and watched her do another shot. "I think you're being adventurous enough for the both of us tonight, Jess."

"Aria, don't be such a spoil sport." It was Erin again, and by the looks of it she'd be drunk before the hour was out.

Ezra, who'd been quite during the whole exchange, finally spoke up. "What's her usual, Lee?"

"A coke." His answer sent up laughter around the table, and I was happy to hear Ezra's in the midst of it all.

The tips of his fingers were lightly tracing a pattern over my lower back and I shifted closer in response, tangling my legs with his beneath the table. Maybe Erin was right. Maybe it was time to take things bit farther.

"Fine, you guys win. But just a few, alright? I'd like to remember tonight."

Lee signaled the bartender for a round of shots and a waitress brought them over a few minutes later.

"Bottoms up everyone."

I tossed mine back, fighting the urge to cough as the alcohol burned my throat. "There, happy guys?"

Rianne shook her head. "Oh no. You're not getting off that easy." Two shots later and I was starting to feel a bit bolder, giving the term liquid courage credence.

I turned to Ezra who'd been talking to Ryan, a senior at the University and Erin's current love interest of the week.

"Dance with me."

He glanced down at me and nodded, slipping out of the booth and tugging me along with him.

* * *

The beat of the bass seemed so much more prominent out on the floor, it's pounding matching the rhythm of my heart. Music drowned out all other noise and I found myself getting caught up in the pulse of it, my body swaying along with it. Ezra surprised me, his moves pairing perfectly with mine. I glanced over my shoulder, to find Rianne and Lee right behind me, the two of them caught up in the music as well. Erin, on the other hand seemed more focused on trying to find Ryan's tonsils rather the music and I found myself laughing at her obliviousness. Ezra's hands caught my hips and drew me close. Soon, I forgot everything but him and the way I felt at that moment. For the first time in what felt like forever, I could say I was truly happy. It was an amazing feeling and gave me another shove of confidence.

My arms wound around his neck, closing the final gap between our bodies. In response his hands slid lower, gripping my bottom firmly and pinning me against him. We stayed like that for several moments, as close as we could have been to each other, bodies rocking to the tempo of the music.

When the song ended, I led him off the floor and back towards the table. He ordered us drinks, a scotch for him and a raspberry mojito for me. The frozen drink felt good going down, the coolness of it soothing my parched throat.

"You didn't tell me you could dance."

Ezra glanced up from his scotch and reached over to brush a lock of hair from my face. "You never asked me. Aria, I've wanted to talk to you about something. I think-"

He was cut off by the arrival of the rest of the group and another round of shots.

I interlaced my fingers with his and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Later?"

He nodded. Lee offered me a shot and I knocked it back, followed by another.

Ezra intercepted the next one that was handed to me, passing it to Erin instead.

"Dance with me again?"

"Sure." I followed him out of the booth and back out onto the dance floor.

* * *

An hour and half later, Ezra dragged me out of the club, promising the rest of the gang that he'd make sure I made it home in one piece. I protested his actions, none too happy about having my night cut short. On the walk home however, I all but forgot about my night at the club, enjoying the buzz from the drinks and the warmth of Ezra's arm around my waist.

He followed me into my apartment, helping me take off my coat and kick off my shoes before settling me on the couch.

"Don't leav-." I stretched my arms out for him as he walked away, managing to roll off the couch in the process. Giggles overtook me as I lay sprawled on the floor, staring up at him through teary eyes.

He shook his head at me and put me back up on the couch. "I'm not, but you're drunk and you need to get some food in you. Just don't move, alright. I'll be back in a second."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Fitz." He rolled his eyes and headed towards the kitchen, while I lay still giggling on the couch.

A few seconds later he emerged with a bottle of water and a bag of pretzels in his hand. He set the water down and handed me the bag of pretzels. "Eat some of these. It'll help."

"Don't want them." I tugged him down to sit on the couch beside me. "Want you." Shifting so that I was straddling him, I tossed the bag of pretzels to the side and buried my face in his neck. "Love you."

He kissed my forehead softly before pushing me back a bit. "Just a few, please?"

I popped one into my mouth and ate it. "Happy?" I didn't give him time to respond. My lips descended upon his fiercely, fingers lacing through his hair and pulling him closer.

"Aria." He groaned and tried to push me away.

"Want you." I captured his mouth again for a few moments, before leaning back and tugging my dress over my head. One of the straps twisted and caught, trapping my head underneath the fabric. I fell off of Ezra's lap, laughing uncontrollably. Somewhere between the giggles I managed a plea for help.

He tugged the dress over my head and then scooped me up into his arms. "Where we going," I slurred as he cradled me against his chest.

"The bedroom."

I'd managed to undo half the buttons on his shirt by the time he placed me on the bed.

"Aria, will you please stop trying to take my clothes off?"

I bit my lip and tears stung my eyes. "Don't want me?"

He sighed and kissed me softly. "Of course I do, but you're drunk right now and I can't take advantage of that." Gently, he peeled back the blankets and tucked them around me.

"Love you." I murmured sleepily as the fatigue from the night began to set in.

"I love you too, Aria." He pressed a kiss to my forehead before slipping out the door.

I snuggled deeper under the covers. My last thoughts before sleep claimed me were of Ezra.


	6. Maybe Things Aren't Meant To Last

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 6**

* * *

_"You don't know about my past and  
I don't have a future figured out  
And maybe this is goin' too fast  
And maybe it's not meant to last"_

Taking Chances by Celine Dion

* * *

Waking up half naked and alone in bed without any recollection of the night before is no way to start the day. That, coupled with a pounding headache and queasy stomach left me feeling miserable. Clenching my eyes tightly against the sunlight streaming in through the windows, I burrowed my way beneath the sheets. It was Saturday; I could afford a lazy day in bed.

I felt the bed dip beside me and my eyes flew open in shock. Relief flooded through me when I realized it was only Ezra, a water bottle and pill in one hand, a coffee mug in the other. He set the coffee on my night stand and handed the water to me.

"Hey." His voice was soft and for that I was grateful. At that moment it felt like any sudden movement or loud noise would cause my head to explode. "Take this; it'll help your head."

Sitting up in bed, I took the pill from his hand and washed it down with a sip of water. "Thanks. You're a life saver." The sheet pooled at my waist and left my bra clad form bared to his gaze. I yanked it back with one hand and brushed my hair over one shoulder with the other. "Ezra, we didn't-"

He smiled softly and shook his head. "No." He handed me the coffee. "You tried though."

My cheeks burned in mortification and I inched lower on the bed. "I'm so sorry, Ezra."

"It's alright. It was cute, in a drunken sort of way." He laughed gently and pressed a kiss to my temple. "Once I made sure you'd be alright for the night, I went home and got some sleep. I figured you'd need the coffee and Tylenol this morning, so I came back over.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

Finished with my coffee, I snuggled back down beneath the covers. He got up to leave, but I caught his hand. "Stay."

"Aria, I don't know if-"

"Please?"

He nodded and toed off his shoes before sliding down onto the bed beside me. I curled up against him, my body fairly humming in contentment as his arm pressed me to his side.

"I really am sorry about last night."

"It's alright, Aria. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"Yeah but-"

"No buts. It won't change anything."

The worst part of his statement was that I didn't know if I should've been relieved or disappointed by it. My mind struggled to make sense of my mixed emotions but was hindered by his close proximity and the delicious way the pad of his thumb was rubbing in a soothing circle over my hip bone. I needed to think. I needed space.

Rolling away from him, I wrapped myself in the sheet and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To shower."

"Oh, well I guess I'll get going then."

"No, I want you to stay. I won't take long and last night you said you wanted to talk about something. Stay, please?"

He nodded and reclined back onto the pillows. "I'll be right here."

* * *

Twenty minutes later I emerged from the bathroom, hair towel dried and dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. True to his word, Ezra still lay propped on the bed, thumbing through the pages of a book.

"What are you reading?" I sat down next to him, curling my legs beneath me and taking the book from his hands.

"To Kill a Mocking Bird." He smiled sheepishly and took it back from me. "You'd think we'd both be sick of it by now."

I laughed. "We should, shouldn't we?" Reaching up, I started to twist my hair into a braid. Ezra tossed the book aside and caught my hand.

"Don't."

I let the damp strands filter through my fingers. "Why not?"

"I like it down. Besides," he slipped an arm about my waist and buried his face in my neck, "you smell really good."

Laughing, I shoved him away playfully. "So, Mr. Romance, what did you want to talk about?" The one word reply I'd been expecting never came. In fact there was no mention of an _us_ in the entire conversation.

"Your writing."

I rose from the bed and moved over to my closet to retrieve a sweat shirt. "My writing?"

"Well a few days ago I was talking to my publisher about the book I'm working on right now, and I may have mentioned that you were a talented writer. He wants to read some of your work."

I slid the sweat shirt over my head and sat down next to him on the bed. "Really?"

He smiled. "Really. I told him I'd talk to you about it and if you wanted I'd send some of your work over to him."

"You'd do that?"

He seemed surprised at my question. "Of course."

"Then I'll see what I can find and give it to you later this week."

"Sounds like a plan." We lapsed into silence for a few minutes and I curled up next to him again.

"Was that-" A loud rumble from my stomach interrupted my question. I laughed and pressed a hand to my stomach. "Never mind. I think eating's more important right now."

And just like that the mood was broken. My courage to see if there was a chance of moving forward in our relationship dissipated. I scooted off the bed and headed towards the kitchen, Ezra following closely behind.

**A/N: Uh-oh. Maybe things aren't going to go as smoothly between the two of them as they're hoping. Ezra says nothing's going to change and poor Aria seems to want that more than anything. I know it's a short chapter, but it's setting everything up for the next one. We all know about the drama in Rosewood, but what happens when drama comes to St. Louis?**


	7. This Time It's Sink or Swim

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 7**

**

* * *

**

"_Kamikaze airplanes in the sky__  
__Are we going down or will we fly?__  
__This could be a shipwreck on the shore__  
__Or we could sail away forevermore__  
__This time it's sink or swim, sink or swim"_  
~ Sink or Swim by Tyrone Wells

* * *

"Excuse me, could you tell me where Mr. Fitz's classroom is?" The elderly woman behind the front office desk at Whitfield Academy scrutinized me from behind her glasses.

"Shouldn't you be in class dear, and you're out of dress code, so I'm afraid it'll be detention for you too."

"Pardon?"

"And where's your badge?"

My brow furrowed for a moment and then I realized she thought I was student. "I'm sorry, Mrs.-" I glanced at the nameplate on the desk, "Carmichael, but I'm not a student here. I just needed to bring this manuscript to Mr. Fitz."

Her eyes roamed over me, as if trying to determine the truth of my statement. She clucked her tongue and then pushed a visitor's pass towards me. "Down this hall and up the first flight of stairs. It's the second classroom on the left."

I took the pass and thanked her.

"Don't forget to drop the pass back here on your way out."

* * *

He sat alone at his desk, the classroom empty. Flashbacks of standing in a spot very much like this one, gazing at him through the open doorway, assaulted me. I smiled at the irony of it all. Who would've thought I'd still be doing it after leaving high school?

I knocked on the open door and couldn't help but grin as his face lit up at the sight of me.

"Aria! What are you doing here?" He stood and took my hand.

"I just wanted to bring you this." I held up the manila folder containing a collection of my short stories. " I know I was supposed to come over tonight, but Erin called. She found out about a pop quiz in our statistics class tomorrow and wants me to study with her. I really need to make sure I pass the quiz."

His smile faltered for only a moment and I squeezed his hand in response. "How about I make it up to you this weekend?"

Ezra dropped my hand and moved to slip my folder into his brief case. "I can't. I'm supposed to leave for a work shop Friday afternoon. I won't be back until Monday."

"Oh."

He seemed just as upset about it as I was at the moment. "How about tomorrow night?"

His suggestion lifted my spirits again. "Tomorrow night sounds perfect. Your place?"

Ezra smiled. "Sure." He settled back into his chair and I perched on the edge of his desk.

I surveyed the classroom with its oak paneled walls and built in bookshelves. "This is quite a step up from Rosewood Day."

Laughter bubbled up from his lips. "Yeah, I'd say it is."

"When's your next class?"

He glanced down at his watch. "Five minutes."

I slid off his desk and started for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Wouldn't miss it." We shared a parting smile and I headed out of the classroom. The bell rang just as I reached the stairwell and the hallway flooded with students dressed in navy uniforms. I stood out like a sore thumb. It's funny how just a few months can take a place that used to feel like so much like home and turn it into a foreign place. The crowded halls seemed suffocating to me after the liberty and openness of the college.

Hastily, I hurried back to the office and dropped off the pass, thanking Mrs. Carmichael again for her help. By the time I made it back to my car, I'd managed to shake off the shroud of gloom that surrounded me at the news of Ezra's departure. It wasn't like he was leaving for good. It was just for the weekend. One weekend. I could handle that. Why then, did it seem like an eternity?

* * *

Erin's bubbly nature and subtle humor was just what I needed to get me out of my morose rut. She'd arrived with text books in one hand and pizza in the other. It didn't take us long to get our studying done and we spent several hours just talking.

"So? Have you two made it official yet?"

She giggled at the frown on my lips. "I guess not. Babe, you've got to make a move soon. You're driving yourself crazy for no reason."

"But-"

"No buts, Aria. The chemistry between you guys is a once in a life time kind of thing. Don't blow it."

"But how do I know he feels the same? We're both comfortable right now, why should I shake it all up?"

"Aria, no man holds a girl like he did the entire night on Friday without having feelings for her. He couldn't keep his hands off of you."

"That's just it, Erin!" I popped a piece of pepperoni into my mouth. "Saturday morning he brought me coffee and told me nothing had changed. And then today, I went to give him something while he was at work and the lady in the front office thought I was a student of his!"

My spiel had brought tears to my eyes and Erin squeezed me tightly.

"Hey now, tears aren't worth it. He doesn't see it that way. Aria, if only you could notice what everyone else does when you guys are together. Ezra looks at you like you're the sun. Trust me, that guy's so far gone over you that it'd take a nuclear blast to shock him out of it. "

I laughed and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Thanks, Erin."

"No problem. When are you going to see him again?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Arlight, listen to me. Tomorrow night you're going to tell him how you feel and tell him what you want. Got it? And if you don't…well I can't be responsible for my actions."

"I'll try."

"No, there will be no trying. You're going to follow through on it. Deal?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Deal."

Erin left a few minutes later, both of us needing to get some sleep before our morning class. I felt oddly at peace with my agreement with Erin. The weight that lifted after finally knowing I was going to pursue the relationship, leap over the careful line we'd drawn was enormous. For the first time in a long time, I fell asleep without an ache in the pit of my stomach.

* * *

My quiz went well that morning, as did the rest of my classes. After a late afternoon coffee with the gang, I headed for Ezra's apartment. It was about fifteen minutes from mine, giving me plenty of time to muster the courage I knew I was going to need.

By the time I knocked on the door, I was fit to burst. The urge to spill it all the moment he opened the door was hard to contain, but I refrained. We had all night; there was no sense in rushing things.

He opened the door after my second knock. "Hey, beautiful."

"Hey." I held up a paper bag. "I brought Italian."

"Mmm." He took the bag from me and led me into the apartment. "I read some of your stories."

He glanced over at me as if gauging my reaction. "Oh. What did you- were they any good." That was always the hardest thing about being a writer. It was gut wrenching to put your work, a small part of yourself out there for judgment.

He grinned at me. "They were wonderful! In fact, I might regret sending them in."

"Why?" I set my purse on the counter and placed my jacket on the back of a chair.

"They're so good that they just might beat out mine." He laughed then and I realized he'd been teasing me.

"Well, I can't help it if they like me better. Besides, I'm much cuter." He shook his head and rolled his eyes.

I thought I'd hurt his feelings for a moment and I wrapped my arms around him to apologize. "I was only kidding."

He grinned down at me and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "I know. Besides, you're right. You are much cuter."

I backed away. "I know."

"Why you little-" He lunged for me, but I was too quick. I'd made it as far as his office before he caught me.

Ezra's hands wound their underneath my shirt, the warmth of his palms resting lightly on my lower back. His forehead fell to mine, our breath intermingling in the small space between us.

'Ezra." His name came out as a breathy whisper and the hands around my waist tightened in response. "I wanted to talk to you about something. I think-" The shrill ring of his cell phone interrupted me for a moment. An apologetic look crossed his face before he answered it.

"Hello?" I couldn't hear the voice on the other end but felt the loss of his attention acutely as he stepped away. "Christine? No…You can't be serious."

_I'll be right back,_ he mouthed, before heading into his bedroom.

I nodded numbly and headed back into the living room. Was he still talking to Christine on a regular basis? The courage I'd been safe guarding all evening began to crumble and I sank down onto the couch. Maybe he'd changed his mind. Maybe he really was to content to be best friends.

Five minutes passed, then ten. After twelve minutes of sitting in the living room I stood to leave. He emerged from the bedroom just as I was slipping on my coat.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Home. We can do this another night." I hadn't meant to sound bitter, but I couldn't help the hurt note creeping into my voice.

"No, please stay. Let's just have eat, alright? We can talk like you wanted to."

Against my better judgment I agreed to stay. We'd just set out the plates for dinner when there was another knock at the door. Ezra was in the middle of reheating the pasta, so I volunteered to get the door. I wished I hadn't.

There, on his door step stood a beautiful woman a few years older than me. She was slightly taller, with light chestnut hair and deep blue eyes.

"Is Ezra here?"

"Umm- yeah he's in the kitchen. I'll get-" Just then, Ezra appeared behind me.

"Evelyn? What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to bring by a few forms and I had a couple questions about the lesson plans you left for tomorrow. It'll only take a minute, but if this is a bad time…" She looked over at me questioningly.

Ezra glanced at me for approval. "It's fine. I'll just finish up dinner." He smiled softly at me before leading Evelyn back towards his office.

Five minutes passed then ten, then fifteen. After twenty minutes of standing in the kitchen I tip-toed towards his office door, curious to see if it was to going to take much longer. I wasn't prepared for the conversation I overheard.

"She's very pretty. Is she one of your students?"

"No! She goes to the University."

"Geez, sorry. She's still pretty young though." The door was slightly ajar and I peeked in.

Ezra sat at his desk with Evelyn staring over his shoulder at the computer screen.

"There, all done. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Wait, there were just a few more things I needed to ask you."

He sighed and settled back into his chair.

"I know it's been a really long time since we've dated-" My hand flew to my mouth, stifling a gasp. First Christine and now this woman. I wanted to cry but pride kept me from doing so. I wouldn't; not here anyway.

* * *

I flew down the hallway, pausing only for a moment to grab my coat and purse before leaving the apartment. The first tear fell as I stepped onto the elevator. I was sick of waiting, sick of trying, sick of putting myself through this daily agony. Damn love. Damn him. I quit.

Just like that I quit. Putting so much of myself into something that didn't seem important anymore was a waste of precious energy. Tears falling like rain drops I slid into my car and revved the engine before pulling out onto the street.

I heard the squealing tires and saw the blinding light but it didn't register that I was going to be hit until I actually was. My last glimpse was of the front bumper of a green truck just seconds before it slammed into the side of my car. The roar of the impact faded from my ears and everything thing began to dim. Faintly, I heard the sound of approaching sirens and the shouts for help by anxious onlookers. Soon though, even those sounds disappeared and the flashing lights faded into darkness.

**A/N: I promised drama, didn't I?**


	8. Just You and Me

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 8**

* * *

"_You're driftin' in and out of my dreams,__  
__I need your arms around me.__  
__I need your scent on my skin.__  
__And I need to know that you'll never let go,__  
__You'll never let go again."_

~ Arms Around Me by Tyrone Wells

* * *

The lights were out when I awoke in the hospital some time later, the only glow coming from the open doorway. I shifted the tiniest bit and pain shot through my body. Bad idea. Glancing down, I saw I was hooked to an IV with three different needles. Fantastic. I took a deep breath; another bad idea. Sharp twinges shot through my body, were some of my ribs broken? The throb my actions caused drew a gasp from my lips.

"Thank god!"

I turned my head a fraction of an inch towards the source of the voice, surprised to find Ezra standing a few feet away.

"I've never been so frightened in my life." And he looked it. Face pale and eyes bloodshot I wondered how long he'd been here. "Jesus, Aria. If you ever scare me like that again…"

My lips curved into a small smile and I reached weakly for his hand. Ezra placed a kiss against my palm before nursing it against his cheek.

"They told me you might never wake up again." My eyes drifted closed for a moment before flickering open again. Why was it so hard to stay awake?

"What happened?" My voice sounded like death and Ezra helped me drink a glass of water before replying.

"You don't remember? There was a car accident. You're car was totaled."

"I remember that. I mean afterwards." My eyes closed again but I kept listening to his voice.

"Well I got there just after it happened. I was coming after you. Why did you leave, silly girl?"

Not receiving an answer he continued. "When they pulled you out of the car, I thought you were dead. So still-"

Ezra trailed off for a minute and I felt wetness brush my fingertips where they lay on his cheek. He was crying. I brushed them away before pulling my hand back down.

"Hold me." It came out as less than a whisper but he heard.

"Aria, I don't think-"

"Please." At that moment I felt so vulnerable, the realization that I'd nearly died hitting me full force. "Please."

He nodded and slipped into the hospital bed with me, his arms cradling me as if he were afraid to hurt me. I curled around his warmth, grimacing as the movement sent pain straight down my spine.

"The nurse told me the pain should get better in a few days. You've been unconscious for two days already. They had to operate on you. You don't have a spleen anymore." He sounded so serious when he said it, but I found the statement rather humorous.

"Darn. I was kind of fond of it." Laughing hurt but it was a balm to both our souls. "Anything else?"

"Well, there are two cracked ribs, a sprained ankle, and several bruises."

"That's all? I was hoping for something a bit more exciting." My attempt at a joke was poorly received. He frowned and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

"Do my parents know?"

"Yes, I called them. I promised to call them as soon as you woke up."

"You called them? What did they say?"

"Not a whole lot really. I told them I was a good friend and that I'd stay with you."

"Thank you."

He smiled gently and brushed his lips across my temple. "I'm not letting you out of my sight again. Even if it takes you a lifetime to realize that I'm the right guy for you, I'll wait. That night, the thought of losing you…it was too much. I need you too much, Aria."

Ezra drew a ragged breath and buried his face in my hair.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about the other night. I'd finally managed to work up the courage and then everything just seemed to get in the way. But you're here now and I'm telling you. I love you and when you call my parents back I want you tell them that you're my boyfriend."

He stared at me in disbelief. "Aria, this accident doesn't have to change anything. You don't have to feel pressured to-"

"Shut up, Ezra." I pressed my lips against his, delighting when he began to mimic my actions. It wasn't passionate or heated; it was gentle and sweet, reassuring in its tenderness. It was what we both needed at that moment.

"I love you."

I kissed him once more before settling my head on his chest. "I love you, too."

My eyes closed again, but this time I couldn't find the strength to reopen them.

"Sleep, Aria. I'll be right here when you wake up."

**Up Next: We find out what Christine wanted, what Aria's parents think of her new relationship, and if things are really as simple as they seem for our favorite couple!**


	9. Sort Of

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 9**

They released me from the hospital four days later, with stern orders to remain on bed rest for at least another week to prevent tearing my stitches. Ezra's fierce protectiveness and near constant hovering ensured the doctor's directions would be followed to implicitly. I'd managed to keep my parents from flying out with promises that I'd call them daily and update them on how I was doing. Surprisingly, they didn't question me about Ezra and for the moment I was content with that. It was one less thing I'd have to explain to them.

The days I spent at home were routine enough, if not a bit boring. Lucy, Lee, Rianne, or some other member of the gang would stop by at various times between their classes, checking to see if I was all right. Ezra would swing by as soon as he finished up at school and would usually wound up staying the night. On the rare occasions when I was alone, I caught up on homework. Missing two weeks of college classes was almost as bad as the car accident. There were times when I was sure the work load alone would kill me.

However, the long hours spent in bed were trying. Often, I'd find myself irritable and snappish with everyone for no reason at all. I'd pissed off Erin nearly every time she'd come by. Lee was a bit better and learned to hold his tongue. But Ezra, he was the most patient of them all. We'd argued more in those few days than we had the whole time we were together in Rosewood. He took it though and at the end of the night, when I'd worn myself at and just wanted to be held he was there, a gentle smile on his lips and arms outstretched.

We hadn't spoken about Christine or Evelyn since that night at the hospital and my curiosity was beginning to get the best of me. I managed to rein myself in until Saturday night. Ezra had been over all day. We'd talked and watched movies, spent a great deal of time kissing and cuddling, read a little, and had a picnic on the bed. After dinner, he'd settled himself at the kitchen table to grade papers while I lazed about on the couch, working on a paper for my history class.

"Ezra?"

"Hmmm?" He glanced up from the paper he'd been grading, the pen he'd been using to mark papers set aside.

"I have a question."

"I hope it's not about math, because I promise you now I won't be able to help."

I shook my head and laughed. "It's not about statistics. Besides, I've pretty much given up on understanding that class. Actually, I wanted to ask you about Christine."

At that moment it seemed like a math related question might have been better received. He stared at me for a moment as if trying to decide whether to indulge me or not.

"What about her?" He stood up from the chair and came to sit beside me on the couch.

"When she called that night, what did she want?"

He almost looked relieved and I couldn't help but wonder if there was something else he wasn't telling me. "The lease is almost up on the apartment and although I pay most of the rent, it's in her name. She doesn't want to renew it and it's too big for just me. I've started looking for something smaller, closer to the school."

"That's it?" I almost laughed at myself for having been so worried about what she'd wanted.

"That's it." He stood to go back to the kitchen table but I caught his hand.

"Can't you do that over here? There's plenty of room for the two of us."

He smiled gently at me. "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. We can't ever seem to get anything done when we're right next to each other. That's why I'm at the table now, remember?"

"Please? I promise I'll behave?"

Ezra looked at me doubtfully and I giggled. "Promise?"

"Scout's honor."

He laughed and shook his head ruefully. "Alright."

A few seconds later he returned with his stack of papers and I readjusted myself to make room for him. I watched him thoughtfully for a minute before sliding my legs into his lap. He didn't look up from his paper, but his free hand automatically went to my leg, absently running his fingers from knee to ankle and back up again. I added another paragraph to my paper before I gave up, shutting my laptop down and placing it on the floor next to me.

Relaxing back onto the pillows, I let my eyes drift shut and my mind wander towards things much more pleasant than the Roman Empire. My lips curved into a small smile as I thought about that night in the hospital and how at peace I'd finally felt when he'd curled up with me on the bed.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice was low and quiet as if he was trying to preserve the serenity of the moment.

"You." I kept my eyes closed and allowed a small laugh to escape. "How much I love you." There was a rustle of papers as he shifted about on the couch.

"Mmm. I told you that sitting together was a bad idea."

I shook my head. "I think it was a perfect idea." My eyes opened and I glanced over at him. He stretched out, his feet propped on the coffee table, his head resting on the back of the couch.

I withdrew my legs from his lap and sat up, ignoring the small pain that shot through me at the movement. "A very," I cuddled up to his side and left my head fall to his shoulder, "very, very, perfect idea." His arm came round me, holding me close.

I tilted my head up to study his profile. Dark lashes rested on his cheeks, his eyes closed as he relaxed. He hadn't shaved this morning, the stubble a stark contrast to the paleness of his cheeks. His lips were full and still slightly swollen from my earlier kisses. I traced them lightly with one finger before withdrawing it and settling my hand on his chest.

"Move in with me." The words were out of my mouth before I knew it and I wasn't really sure where the request had come from.

His eyes flew open and he met my gaze.

"Aria, I- don't you think that's moving things a little fast?"

"Probably, but you've practically been living here this week. Besides," I pressed a kiss to his shoulder, "I like having you here."

His finger traced a feather light trail over the curve of my jaw. "And I like being here, but it's a really big step."

I shrugged my shoulders and moved to stand up. "Nevermind. I'm going to shower. You're welcome to stay tonight if you'd like."

"Hey now," he stood up too and took my hands, "it's not like that. I just think we both need to be sure."

"I am. And it just makes sense. You'd be closer to the school and you wouldn't have to go through all the trouble of trying to find a place."

"You're right."

A grin formed on my lips. "You'll do it?"

He shook his head and kissed the tip of my nose. "I'll think about it."

His answer satisfied me and I withdrew from his embrace. "Will you still stay tonight? I-this is going to sound silly but I sleep better with you here."

I smiled sheepishly at him.

"I'll stay. Maybe I'll be able to get some grading done while you're in the shower." He laughed and shook his head. "I've read three papers this evening."

"Just three? Well, if it makes you feel better I only have two paragraphs written for my paper." I kissed him quickly on the cheek and the headed towards the bedroom. At the door I paused. "Better read them fast, cause after I'm out of the shower we're watching a movie."

He rolled his eyes and sat back down on the couch. "It better be a really long shower then, Aria."

**A/N: To move in or not move in; that is the question. **


	10. Want To Do What Bunnies Do?

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 10**

"_Well you might be a bit confused__  
__And you might be a little bit bruised__  
__But baby how we spoon like no one else__  
__So I will help you read those books__  
__If you will soothe my worried looks__  
__And we will put the lonesome on the shelf"_

~ You and I by Ingrid Michaelson

The sun was just cresting over the city when I awoke the next morning, curled around Ezra like he was my own personal teddy bear. I untangled myself gently from his arms and slipped out of the bed. It was my first official day off bed rest and I intended to make the most of it.

Judging by how early it was and how late we'd been up last night I figured Ezra would sleep for at least another hour or so, giving me plenty of time to cook breakfast and bring it to him in bed. It seemed the least I could do to thank him for all he'd done in the past week, and if I had my way it wouldn't be the last surprise of the day.

The tile of the kitchen was cold on my bare feet as I padded into the kitchen. To be fair, I didn't have very many clothes on. Stifled by Ezra's body heat, but unwilling to remove myself from his arms, I'd taken off my sweatpants sometime in the night, leaving me in just a t-shirt and my lace boy shorts. The thought of waking him by reentering the bedroom in the search for a pair of pants seemed worse than enduring the chill of the morning. Instead, I opened the blinds to allow the morning sun to filter in and warm the kitchen. It worked. By the time I'd mixed up the pancake batter and put the bacon on to fry, the kitchen was cozy and had lost its earlier chill.

Twenty minutes later I'd arranged the pancakes and bacon, along with fruit and coffee, onto a tray and carried it back into the bedroom. Much to my relief, he was still sleeping, an arm cast over his eyes to block out the morning sun. Placing the tray on the nightstand, I climbed up onto the bed to kneel at his side.

"Ezra?" I pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder.

"Mmmm?" He rolled onto to his side and reached his arm out towards my side of the bed. When his hand fell only on my cold pillow, he opened his eyes slowly, trying to find me in the dim light.

He smiled sleepily as his gaze finally fell upon me and I couldn't help but lean down and kiss him.

"Good morning." I pulled back and brushed his hair off his forehead.

"Morning." He pulled me down next to him, cuddling me to his side. "I wouldn't mine waking up like this every day." His lips brushed my temple and I sighed with content.

"It gets better." I rolled away from him to retrieve the tray. "I made you breakfast."

He sat up and surveyed the pancakes and bacon. "You did this?"

I laughed at the tone of disbelief in his voice. "Well, yes. I do have other talents besides ordering Chinese takeout. Besides, I wanted to thank you for everything you've done this week."

He smiled at me so sweetly that I wanted to cry. Instead, I situated the tray between us, snagging a strawberry off of it and popping it in my mouth. He stared at me as I did so, watching with rapt attention as I licked a droplet of juice off my finger.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

He laughed. "No. But," his finger dipped into some of the syrup that had puddle on the plate and wiped it on my nose, "you do now."

"Hey! That's not-"

He silenced me with a kiss on my lips, followed by licking the syrup off the tip of my nose. I caught his face in my hands and kissed him gently, teasing his lower lip with tender nips of my teeth.

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Now, are you sure this food isn't going to kill me?"

"I'm positive."

He picked up a piece of bacon and eyed it warily. "You're sure?"

I glared at him and punched him playfully in the shoulder. "I'm sure! Now eat it before it gets cold."

He did as I told him to, occasionally taking a break to kiss me or feed me little bits of pancake.

Ten minutes later he pushed the tray away with a heavy sigh. "That's it. We're getting married and you're cooking me breakfast every morning."

My eyes widened and mouth dropped open. I'm sure that at that moment I very much resembled a dying fish.

He let out a bark of laughter at my expression. "I'm kidding, Aria. No need to look so freaked out."

The sigh I let out was shuddery, releasing some of the panic I'd felt at his statement. "You better have been. You won't even move in with me yet, remember?"

"I thought about it while you were in the shower last night. I gave up on grading the essays." He laughed softly for a moment before a look of tenderness crossed his face and he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "You were right. It might be moving things too fast, but I don't care." A smirk flitted across his lips for a brief moment and I arched my eyebrows at him in response.

"What?"

"Slow has never really been our thing anyway." His hand wandered from where it'd been resting behind his head to toy with the hem of my t-shirt.

I shoved his hand away playfully and bounced off the bed. "Get up. I hope you don't have plans for the day because-"

He groaned. "Actually-"

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. Why did the outside world always seem to be conspiring against us?

"Don't worry about it. We can do it some other day. Besides, I probably have some more homework to-"

"Love, come here."

He reached out his hand, but I didn't move from where I stood at the foot of the bed. "Ezra, it's not a big deal." I couldn't help the catch in my voice when I spoke and I hated how emotional it was making me.

"Aria, please."

I gave in and crawled up on the bed next to him. His hand settled in its usual spot on my lower back, tracing lazy circles with his fingertips.

"I'm supposed to have lunch with a friend of mine who's in town for the week. Why don't you come with me?"

"Seriously, there's no reason to change your plans for me. And I wouldn't want to intrude. You're probably getting sick of me."

"Look at me." He cupped my face in his hand and brought my gaze level to his. "You are never an intrusion. Ever. And there's no way I'll ever get sick of you, especially when you where underwear like this." His hand trailed lightly over my lace clad bottom and I couldn't help but let out a light giggle. "Besides, you've already met him."

I'd only ever met one of Ezra's friends, and that encounter hadn't gone too well. "Hardy's in town?"

Ezra nodded. "He is, and I'd really like you to come. Afterwards, it'll just be the two of us for the rest of the day."

"Promise?"

"Scout's honor." I laughed as he repeated my words from the previous night.

"But," he glanced over at the clock on the nightstand, "we've still got plenty of time before we need to leave, so…" He rolled us over, supporting himself on his forearms and dipping his head to kiss me.

I indulged him for a moment, my arms coming up to twine around his neck. He pulled away from my lips and began working his way down the column of my neck. Using the moment to take charge, I pushed him off and me and onto his back.

"My turn." Straddling him, I ran my fingertips lightly down his bare torso, tracing a feather light trail along the waistband of his pants. Just as he reached up to pull me down to him, I pulled away, leaping off the bed and heading for the bathroom.

"We have just enough time for me to do my hair." I laughed as he threw a pillow, hitting me square on my butt.

"Tease!" He groaned and fell back onto the bed.

"Love you." I shut the bathroom door, an idiotic grin splitting my lips. Somehow waking up to him every morning didn't seem like a bad idea.

**A/N: Aria, Aria, Aria. ****It isn't very nice to tease people, is it? After reading the reviews and messages, which I am very thankful for, I thought it would be best to let him move in. However, things won't always be so domestically blissful. **

**Up Next: Hardy's got an opinion on Aria, a trip back to high school is in order, and Evelyn reappears to stir the pot just a bit. **


	11. Everybody Wants To Be Loved

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 11**

* * *

"_And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?__  
__Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?__  
__You calm the storms, and you give me rest.__  
__You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.__  
__You still my heart, and you take my breath away.__  
__Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?"_

~Everything by Lifehouse

* * *

Hardy hadn't changed much in the past two years. He still had that boyish charm and humor that was so much like Ezra's. I stood by the wayside as he and Ezra said hello to each other, fighting the urge to duck back out the door and wait in the car. Hardy as a man didn't frighten me. Hardy as Ezra's friend did. The last time the three of us had been together, his influence on Ezra had nearly destroyed our relationship. And although the circumstances were different now, much different, I still had the weight of that past worry low in the pit of my stomach. Our age difference hadn't changed even though the legality of everything had. Would Hardy still object to Ezra and I?

Ezra, sensitive and intuitive as ever seemed to sense my underlying fear, and wrapped an arm around my waist. "I believe you already know Aria?"

"Yeah. How's it going?"

"Good. You?" I glanced up at Ezra and he squeezed my side reassuringly.

"Really great actually. So how long have you two been together? Weren't you seeing some blonde a while back, Ezra? Christine something or other?"

Ezra laughed. "Something like that. I ran into Aria a couple of months ago and we just kind of picked up where we left off."

I rolled my eyes. _It hadn't been that easy. _

"Well, minus the whole classroom scenario right? You're not like her professor now are you?"

Ezra and I both tensed for a moment. Bringing up the past was like pouring salt into an open wound. It stung. A lot.

"Yeah, minus the classroom. I think I like it better this way anyway." I took Ezra's hand and squeezed lightly. My attempt to diffuse the situation worked and the three of us sat down at one of the tables.

Hardy took the hint and steered clear of the topic of our relationship, opting instead to ask me about college and Ezra about his new job. The lunch passed rather quickly after that, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was under a microscope and Hardy was trying to dissect me.

Finally an opportunity to break away came as the waitress began clearing away our plates. "I'm going to head to the restroom and wash my hands. I'll be back in sec."

"Don't be gone too long." Ezra smiled and I squeezed his shoulder in response.

"I won't."

* * *

The bathroom, although small and rather nondescript was a sanctuary. The old feelings of never being good enough, of never being old enough flooded me and I found myself struggling to rein them in. In the end, it mattered little what everyone else thought. Ezra's opinion was the only one that counted and the only one I'd ever need to listen to. Still, I knew Hardy's opinion of me would weigh heavily on Ezra's conscious, regardless of what it was.

I washed my hand three times just to by myself a bit more time before I headed back out into the restaurant. Ezra and Hardy were speaking in hushed tones when I approached and the conversation ceased when I took my seat. I couldn't help but feel I'd walked into the middle of an argument.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"No." Ezra's voice was tense and Hardy quickly glanced out the window to avoid my questioning stare. _I'd definitely interrupted something. _

"Oh. Alright then." The lunch ranked highly on my list of most uncomfortable moments ever. I racked my brain for a neutral topic, finally settling on the upcoming music festival downtown. It worked, and slowly at that. But eventually both of them seem to visibly relax a little bit and we made small talk until Hardy abruptly declared that he needed to get going, before mumbling something about having a flight to catch.

"Aria, it was good seeing you again; and don't let him do anything stupid to screw things up with you. He seems to have a knack for it." While Hardy's statement wasn't exactly a blessing upon Ezra and I's relationship, it did serve as an approval of sorts. For now that would be enough. Ezra seemed to think so too, for the moment the words left Hardy's mouth the knot of tension he'd been holding in for the better part of an hour untangled itself.

"Have a good trip back man, and don't go so long without calling me next time."

* * *

The two of them shared a final parting smile and then Hardy was disappeared out the door. Ezra helped me into my coat and then we too headed out into the chill of the October day.

"Well, that went well."

Ezra smiled and shook his head. "Were you expecting it not to?"

"I don't know. I just thought-" My sentence trailed off as I tried to find the best words to explain to Ezra how scrutinized I'd felt the entire time.

"What?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing."

In the end I'd chickened out, but it honestly didn't seem to be something worth bringing up. A grin crossed my lips as I reached down and interlaced my fingers with his. We were holding hands in public. It was a heady thought to wrap my mind around.

He looked at me doubtfully but didn't press the matter any further."So Miss Montgomery, what did you have in mind for this afternoon?"

"There's this little park about fifteen minutes outside of the city. I thought maybe we could grab a blanket, a couple books, and" I smirked a little and slipped an arm about his waist, "cuddle for a little while. The weather won't be like this for much longer and I thought we could take advantage of it."

"Sounds like a good plan to me.

* * *

Our afternoon spent beneath the fall colored canopy of the oak trees at Laumeier Park was nothing less than perfect and a fitting way to end my car crashed induced, impromptu vacation. We talked and read and laughed until tears stung our eyes. Ezra had held me close, partly to ward off the nippy air and partly because he enjoyed holding me as much as I enjoyed being held. I was reluctant to leave the sanctuary of the park and the warmth of his arms, but the necessity of the real world had a way of worming its way into even the most ideal moments.

We stopped by his apartment to load a few of the most essential things into the back of my car before heading home for the day. The furniture, along with the rest of his stuff, was going to be brought over the following weekend. By the time we'd hauled everything into the apartment it was nearly dinnertime and I volunteered to cook while he unpacked.

The meal was a quiet affair, both of us all too aware that come morning our little bubble of domestic bliss was going to be popped. We did the dishes together, before settling down to work; I on my history essay and he on his grading. Although we were sharing the couch, I didn't find it incredibly hard to focus, although there were a few occasions when I'd catch myself staring at him as he worked.

He was constantly in motion, even in the minutest ways; pen twirling in his fingers, teeth worrying his lower lip, foot tapping out a rhythm to an unknown song. He didn't seem aware of it, but I found it fascinating. Over the course of two years the little things that had endeared him to me in the first place had receded to the far depths of my mind. Now as they resurfaced, they all seemed brand new; each nuance an exciting discovery in its own right.

As such, it took me nearly two hours to finish my paper and him nearly the same amount of time to finish all of the essays. He'd just set his papers on the coffee table when I shut down my laptop for the evening. Wordlessly, I shifted into his arms, burying my face in his neck and heaving a huge sigh.

"That might've been the most boring paper in the history of papers."

His answering laugh was soft. "Mmm. But it was probably written a lot better than most of the essays I read this evening." He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and gave a little sigh. "Ready for bed?"

The thought of the energy it would require to move to the bedroom was draining. I needed to invest in a bigger couch. Snuggling deeper into his embrace, I let my hand slip under the hem of his navy blue Henley, my fingertips lightly tracing over the contours of his stomach.

His gaze met mine, the blue of his eyes darkening with desire. "Aria." His voice was cautious and I knew he was warning me not to start something I didn't intend to finish, not after this morning.

"Hmmm?" I smiled lazily and tilted my head up for a kiss. He acquiesced, his lips lingering slowly over mine. My other hand made its way under his shirt, my fingertips grazing teasingly up the sides of his rib cage and down again. He broke into laughter at the action, pleading with me to stop. I'd found a ticklish spot. The discovery thrilled me to no end. I flattened my palms onto his chest, halting my actions only long enough to draw him back into a kiss and straddle him.

Things quickly grew heated and it wasn't long before I had his shirt tossed over the back of the couch. Mine wasn't far behind. He stared at me with heavy eyes, pupils dilated and breathing labored. Twining my arms around his neck, my lips caught his again, the gentle nips of teeth on lower lips soothed by slow teases of tongue. It was the perfect combination of blazing passion, and sweetly simmering desire. It was us.

He scooped me up and carried me to the bedroom, placing me on the bed in the gentlest manners. A seductive grin spread across my lips as he hovered above me, one hand supporting his weight, the other tracing the curve of my jaw line.

"I love you." I wasn't really sure if the phrase had come from his mouth or mine, but at the moment it didn't really matter. With three simple words we were both lost. His hands and lips seemed to be everywhere at once; ghosting over my hips, moving heatedly against my chest, tantalizing with the perfect amount of pressure at my waist. My sensory overload had never been so high before. He slid one bra strap from my shoulder and then the other, pausing to press chaste kisses to my shoulders before reaching around and unhooking the clasp.

Arching my back I allowed him to remove it, fighting the urge to cover myself when his hungry gaze traveled straight to my now bared chest. Sensing my discomfort, he moved back up to my lips, kissing me until I felt dizzy from the pleasure of it all. I moved against him, my nails trailing down his back, brushing the waistline of his jeans, and moving back up again.

It was a slow dance, full of give and take, of kiss and nip. I lost it when he finally slid my jeans down my legs.

"Ezra, please…" It came out as a low moan and I wasn't quite sure what I was asking for. "Please."

He seemed understand the need blazing through my veins and quickly shed his own pants. I reached down to grasp him in my hand but he quickly shoved them away.

"Not tonight."

I smiled shyly up at him, feeling every bit the part of the uncertain virgin, although I'd lost that nearly three years prior. This however, was nothing compared to my quick tumble with a high school boy. He kissed me briefly before pulling back to stare at me.

"Aria, stop thinking so much." His eyes searched mine for a few more moments, looking for the confirmation he needed to move forward. I knew he'd found it, when his hands trailed along my hips and over my thighs, pulling my lacy underwear down with them. My entire body flushed under his heated gaze and I shifted uncomfortably beneath him, my eyes lowering to stare at the pillow beside me. His hand caught my chin and brought my face to his.

"You're beautiful." A gentle kiss followed his words. I bucked my hips at his first touch, his fingertips burning my skin like the strongest acid. I'd never felt so ready to combust before.

"Ezra…Ezra….Ezra." His name became a litany, each syllable rolling off my tongue like and slow. Deep and light. Passionate and caring. His ever changing touches kept me on the brink and when I finally peaked, I couldn't stifle the scream that was ripped from my throat.

"Ezra…Ezra…Ezra." His name was now a soft sigh from my lips, my hands absently running over his back, down his arms, and back up again.

He kissed me slowly again, his tongue dancing with mine, before pulling back to slide off his boxers. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me as he finally entered me, the feeling of completeness to overwhelming. Slowly, then with increasing ardor we loved one another. The game of give and take continued, his thrusts met with answering ones of my own.

The languorous nature of our earlier caresses disappeared, an urgency taking its place. His hands no longer traced teasingly and his lips no long pressed against mine softly. Instead, his grip was firm and his mouth harsh against mine.

Things spiraled quickly for the both of us, my orgasm overtaking me just as his did. He caught my lips, swallowing my moans and whimpers of bliss with his own. He stiffened above me, every muscle in his body tense and defined. I'd never seen anything so beautiful in my life. The groan he gave was deep and low, and sent a shiver down my spine.

He rolled off of me, breathing labored and skin shining with a fine sheen of sweat. I leaned up to brush his hair off his forehead, before curling myself around him.

"That was…" I sighed as the words escaped me. How could anyone define something as perfect as that had been?

He looked at me expectantly but when I gave no answer nodded his head. "I know." We were silent then, my fingers tracing figure eights on his chest, his hand rubbing lightly against my lower back. My eyes grew heavy with sleep and I heaved another great sigh. He tugged the sheets over us, the cool cotton feeling wonderful against our heated skin. My eyes grew heavy with sleep and I pressed a final kiss to his shoulder before letting them drift shut.

* * *

I couldn't suppress a loud groan as the alarm went off at six thirty, the sleep I'd gotten the night before seeming inefficient to the amount my body needed. Ezra echoed my feelings, shutting it off and burrowing back beneath the covers with me. We snuggled together for a few moments before I rolled out of bed and padded slowly to the kitchen to start the coffee. He rose just a short while after me, heading straight to the bathroom to shower. An entire week of lazy mornings had taken its toll on both of us. I missed the hour long cuddling sessions. With a small laugh, I couldn't help but muse on how much harsher the world seemed without them.

"What's so funny?"

I hadn't heard Ezra enter the kitchen and was surprised to find him standing in the doorway with little more than a towel wrapped around his waist. His damp hair was curling lightly as it dried, and my mind flashbacked to the first time I'd met him at the bar. His hair had been longer then, and a good deal curlier.

"Nothing." He looked at me questioningly, before pouring himself a cup of coffee. "The bathroom's all yours."

I stood from the kitchen table, tossing my sleep tousled hair over one shoulder and smoothing the satin of the teddy I'd slipped on. After rinsing out my coffee mug and setting it in the sink, I reached to wrap my arms around him. He smelled of good soap, clean and simple, without the overpowering scent that most men's body washes seemed to have. I angled for my head for a kiss, which he readily bestowed, our lips lingering over the others for a few minutes.

He broke away and shoved me away gently. "Neither of us are going to be on time if we keep this up."

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Mumbling about how much I hated Mondays, I left the kitchen and my amazing boyfriend behind.

The day passed slowly once Ezra and I went our separate ways. Only the thought of spending my night with him kept me sane. I turned in all of my makeup work, the teachers rather unsympathetic to my plight, but satisfied that I'd completed all of the material they'd provided. Erin and I had stopped in at the cafeteria for a late lunch, before she'd bounced off with her new boy toy. I hadn't even bothered to learn his name yet.

* * *

By the time three o' clock rolled around, I'd finished my homework for the night and was getting tired of staring at wood grain of my desk in the library. Ezra had texted me around lunch, telling me that he'd probably be staying late at school, and that he'd make it up to me when he got home.

There was not a chance in hell that I'd be able to make it several more hours before seeing him. So I packed up my book bag, got into the car, and drove out the school. The parking lot was mostly empty when I pulled in, just a few stray cars parked here and there. I stopped by the office to let them know I was there, but it was empty, the lights turned off and the door locked. With a small shrug of my shoulders, I headed upstairs and down the hall, pausing just outside of his door.

Like so many times before, he sat at his desk, head bent as he poured over an essay, marking pen twirling lightly between his fingers.

"Mr. Fitz?"

He didn't look up. "Hmmm?"

A smirk played over my lips as I realized he was so absorbed in his task that he hadn't yet taken note of who I was. Perhaps a little bit of fun was in order?

"Ms. Carmichael gave me detention. Could I serve it with you?" The comment was highly twisted, and highly inappropriate considering the circumstances of our previous relationship, but I couldn't really help myself.

"Not this afternoon, but maybe…" he glanced up for the first time since I'd entered, shock and then amusement crossing his face. "Aria! What are you doing here?"

"Well," I hopped up onto one of the desks in the front row, "I finished all my homework and I really missed you. I just ended up here."

"I'm disappointed." My face fell at his comment. "I'd been waiting for a detention to come along so I could get someone to organize the bookshelves."A smile crossed his face, but I didn't reciprocate. He stood up from behind his desk and moved to stand in front of me. "I'm kidding, Aria. I've been thinking about you all day." His hands lightly caressed my arms and I relaxed. "I'm glad you're here."

I kissed him sweetly before pulling back and glancing around the room. "I could help you. Ms. Carmichael did actually try to give me a detention the first time I came to visit you. She thought I was a student."

He laughed. "She didn't!"

"No. She really did." We shared a small smile and then he kissed me again. The desk I was sitting on made up for our usual height difference and for once I found myself at eye level with him.

A loud cough from the door way interrupted us and out of instinct we fairly jumped apart. It was Evelyn. Ezra ran a hand through his hair and looked at me apologetically before moving back around to his desk.

"They're ready for you in the conference room." Evelyn was speaking to him, but looking at me. Somehow Hardy's intense scrutiny of me fell flat when compared to the nearly ice like glare she bestowed upon me.

"Thank you. I'll be there in just a second. Aria, do you want to stay? This shouldn't take long."

I smiled softly at him, averting my eyes from Evelyn for the first time since she'd entered the room. "I'll wait."

He grinned at me, before picking up a folder and heading out the classroom. Evelyn didn't follow him. Instead she sauntered over to stand before me, her eyes raking over me as if there was some kind of competition to be had.

"I'm sorry about your car accident. Are you alright?" _Like she cared. _

"Fine now. It was kind of iffy at first but…"

She cut me off. "Look, I don't know what you're playing at Aria, but Ezra's mine."

Her words caught me off guard and I fumbled for a response. "Excuse me?" It was lame and I knew it, but my surprise at her audacity was making it a bit hard to think.

"We had a thing briefly…he and Christine were separated for about a month before getting back together. The timing just wasn't right. Now, however…" She trailed off and a smirk curved on her lips. I resisted the urge to slap it off of her. "Well, let's just say that it won't be long before he's back with me. Besides," her eyes roamed over my form again, "why would a man like him want to date a girl who's fresh out of high school? You could easily pass for one of his students."

Her words cut me deeply, dredging up the doubt I'd been harboring all along. Instead of wallowing in my anxiety however, I focused on my anger, lashing out at her. "What makes you think he'd want a bitch like you instead?"

That had done it. Her face froze in the most unattractive expression, eyes bulging and faces turning a horrible shade of red. Then, much to my surprise she let out a little laugh. "It's alright Aria, losing him won't be that big of a deal. I'm sure there are plenty of guys a lot closer to your own age around here somewhere. Why don't you go check out on the soccer field?"

"Don't hold your breath waiting, Evelyn. Chances of that happening are virtually impossible."

She let out that annoying, high pitched, tinkling laugh again. "We'll just see about that. Didn't he tell you? I'm his new student intern."

I couldn't keep the look of shock from me features. He definitely hadn't mentioned that.

"See Aria, he's keeping things from you already. Why would you want to keep him around if you can't trust him?" I knew what she was doing. I'd seen it often enough in high school. The petty games of spinning things around, distorting the truth so much that everything but the lies were forgotten. Oh I knew what she was doing; and against my better judgment I was letting it get to me.

"You may not be the prettiest thing in the world, but I'm sure there's some guy out there for you. It's just not Ezra." She twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. "Just you wait and see, he'll leave you before the month is out."

"Evelyn." In our heated conversation, neither of us had noticed Ezra's return. I'd never heard his voice so cold. Her eyes grew wide and she paled. "You need to leave." When she made no move, he took he arm and propelled her towards the door. "Now!" I flinched at his harsh tone, but couldn't help feeling some sense of victory at the way he'd been so ready to get rid of her.

She stammered a goodbye and then rushed down the hallway. Ezra turned back to me, a look of anguish on his face. "Aria, I'm sorry."

I shook my head and slid off the desk. "It's alright."

He moved to embrace me, his arms sliding naturally around my waist. "It's not. She had no right to talk you like that."

I pulled away and slung my purse over my shoulder. "Maybe, but they were just words, Ezra. I survived high school, I'm sure I can handle her." Regardless of his noble defense of me, I still couldn't shake the fact that he hadn't told me about their close working relationship. "You never mentioned she was your intern."

He ran a hand through his hair, and leaned against his desk. "She wasn't, not until today at least. That's what the meeting I had to go to was about. I was trying to get out of it."

"Did you?"

He sighed and slumped his shoulders. "No."

I bit my lip and nodded, unsure of what to say.

"Aria, don't let her get to you."

"I'm not." It was a lie and we both knew it. Truth of her claims aside, her words had still managed to plant a seed of doubt in my mind that was already working to sprout. "I think I should get going. Let you finish things up here. I'll see you back at the apartment?"

"Aria." I could tell he was frustrated, torn between wanting to console and wanting to hold me close and refute everything she'd said. My lips brushed his cheek and then I headed out the door.

**A/N: Wow! This is a really long chapter. I love hearing from all of you, and I thank you greatly for the reviews from last chapter. Can't say I didn't warn you about trouble in paradise. Ezria may have Hardy's approval, but Evelyn's an entirely different matter…and she's not out of the picture just yet.**

**Up Next: A lovers' quarrel…fall break…and a blast from the past. **


	12. A Fresh Clean Start

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 12**

"_But I've never felt this feel so heavy__  
__And I've never felt this feel so low__  
__Yeah it is a wake inside my whole soul__  
__But you are my strength I won't stand alone"_

Wonder Dummied by Brooke Waggoner

I felt numb by the time I made it back to the apartment. The anger had gone, only slight remnants of it still roiling beneath my skin. There was some sadness too, but somewhere between the highway and Third Avenue I'd managed to block that out. I'd always been the one to point out that age didn't matter, that it was only a number. Now, between Hardy's scrutiny and Evelyn's scathing remarks, I couldn't help but wonder if I'd been fooling myself.

The first splash of scalding water as I stepped into the shower seemed to jolt me back to reality a tiny bit. The anger resurfaced, hot tears rolling down my face in an effort to spend some of the rage. It just wasn't fair. Even now, when Ezra and I were together without a desk between us, the world still conspired against our relationship. Perhaps, I thought as I toweled myself off, Evelyn had a point. There wasn't really any comparison between she and I. Studying myself in the mirror, I began to see the truth of her statement. My eyes were a little too large for my face, my lips a little too small, my nose turned up just a fraction too much. Passable, but not pretty.

I toweled off my damp hair, and slipped into a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top, before settling on the bed to call Spencer. Between my accident and catching up on all the schoolwork, I'd been terribly remiss in keeping in touch with my friends.

The phone rang once, twice, and then on the third ring she picked up.

_"Hello?"_

"Spence."

_"Aria! I haven't heard from you in ages. You're mom told me about your accident are you alright? I sent you flowers. Did you get them? How's school going?"_

Her barrage of questions drew a laugh from me. "Spencer, slow down. Yes, I'm alright. Yes, I got you're flowers. They were beautiful. School's…well school." We both giggled. Spencer had always been the only one to truly love school. I grew somber and drew my knees up to my chest. "Are you busy, Spence?"

_"Aria? What's wrong?"_

"Noth-"

_ "Don't even say it. There's a reason I'm your best friend. Something's wrong, I can hear it in your voice."_

I debated my answer for a moment, trying to decide if I needed to tell her everything or just give her the reader's digest version of the story. Everything won out.

"I'm just having a bad night. I needed someone to talk to."

_"What kind of bad night are we talking about here? The I made a bad grade kind or the boys are stupid kind?"_

"The second one."

_"Woah! Back up…you didn't even tell me there was a guy!"_

"Well, it's sort of a new thing."

_"What do you mean sort of? What's his name?"_

I bit back a groan at the question. Somehow telling her I was dating our old English teacher didn't seem like a smart thing to do.

"Ezra."

_"Ezra? Come on, Aria. The guy's got to have a last name."_

When I didn't answer, a worried note came into her voice. _"Jesus, Aria. It's not Ian or something is it?"_ I winced as she mentioned her sister's ex-fiancé.

"Not exactly."

I could almost see the gears turning in her head as she tried to puzzle out who he was. "His last name is Fitz." Dead silence. I could've sworn for a moment she stopped breathing. Finally, just when panic was beginning to set in she spoke again.

_ "Ezra Fitz? As in our old English teacher?"_

A heavy sigh. "Yeah."

_"How did you- I mean what-I always knew you guys had some kind of freaky chemistry going on." _

I frowned. If she'd only known the half of it. "Well you know that workshop I flew out here for before school started? I ran into him there. We had coffee…and well, the rest is-"

_"History."_

Well, things hadn't been that easy. "I guess you could say that."

_"What's wrong then? I mean come on, Aria. We all thought he was some kind of god when we were in school."_

I giggled then and laughter had never felt so good before. "It's just-Spence, do you think age matters?"

She was quiet for a moment and I knew she was mulling my question over, trying to find the right answer. _"Not really…at least not if the couple is committed to each other. Why? Is it an issue?"_

"I don't know. I used to think it didn't matter…but then today…I don't Spence. I just don't know."

_"What happened today?" _

I could practically see the arch of her eyebrows as she questioned me. "Think Allison at her worst, but prettier."

_ "Oh."_

Her exclamation wasn't the good kind. _"I'm sorry, Aria."_

"Me too."

_"What did she say?"_

"The shortened version? I'm too young for him and-"My voice caught and I swallowed back tears.

"_Aria, have you talked to him about it? I mean is your age an issue for him?"_

"No-at least I never thought it was"

_"But?"_

"But after today I just don't know. And then this-" I glanced up as the door to the bedroom opened. Ezra stepped in, an apologetic smile on his face.

"Spence, I'll have to call you back."

_"Aria wait-"_

I hung up the phone and tossed it onto the nightstand.

"Hey." I tried to force a smile, but it ended up as more of a grimace.

Ezra shut the door and began pulling off his tie. "Hey."

I bit my lip and glanced out the window, doing my best to avoid his concerned stare. The bed dipped beside me as he sat down.

"Aria, I'm sorry for what Evelyn said earlier." He reached out to brush a curl from my cheek but I pulled away. His face fell and he stood again.

Silently I watched as he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off, leaving him in a light gray tee. I wasn't angry anymore, and I never really had been at him, but I couldn't help questioning everything I'd believed prior to this afternoon.

"It's alright-the things she said, well they weren't all untrue."

He looked at me in disbelief and sank down onto the edge of the mattress.

"Aria, what are you talking about?"

"Think about it, Ezra. There's six years between us! I can't compete with women who already have successful careers and women who aren't young enough to still be your student. For god sakes, they tried to give me a detention last time I came to visit you!" Hot, angry tears stained my cheeks and I hurriedly brushed them away. I already felt like a little girl, and crying didn't help matters.

"You were the one who told me age didn't matter. Remember that?" Ezra ran a hand through his hair in frustration and stood from the bed.

"And Evelyn's so much-" I trailed off and turned away from him.

"So much what, Aria?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Nothing."

His hands came up to rub his temples and he looked at me dejectedly. "I love you so much, but there are times when you-"

I cut him off, my voice heated and my eyes burning with tears. "When I what? Act like a teenage girl? That's because I am, Ezra!"

"That's not what I-"

"I think it's exactly what you meant! Maybe having you move in was a mistake." I regretted the words the minute they left my mouth. He looked as if I'd slapped him at the moment, and in a way, maybe I had.

"I don't think it was." He cast one last hurt look at me before storming out of the bedroom, the door slamming behind him.

Angry, hurt, and mostly upset at myself for ruining something that had been so good, I curled into a ball beneath the sheets and let my tears fall.

* * *

Ezra reentered the bedroom more than two hours later, moving quietly as he stripped out of his jeans and tee and into a pair of pajama pants. I stayed curled on my side, watching his movements by the light of the moon. He knew I was awake, yet made no acknowledgement of it. When he slipped into bed, it was on the opposite side, instead of fitting his body to mine as he usually did. That, more than his silence, stung. Of course, the entire situation was my fault. I'd been the one to argue with him. I'd been the one to let Evelyn get to me. I'd been the one to doubt his feelings.

We lay there in total darkness and complete silence as the minutes ticked by, both of us trying and failing to ignore the presence of the other. The old adage about never letting the sun go down on an argument slipped into my head, and I gave in. With a small noise of content, I rolled over to him, settling my head on his bare chest and sliding a leg over his.

For a moment he remained unmoving and I worried that perhaps I'd damaged things far worse than I'd originally thought. Then, just when I was about to give up all hope and scoot back over to the other side of the bed, his arm came round me and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. No words were needed. In his tender actions I found forgiveness and the knowledge that we were two pieces of the same puzzle. No others would ever match our grooves and corners as well as we did each others.

* * *

The gray light of early morning seemed a harsh intruder to the warm little bubble of happiness I was engulfed in. Beside me, Ezra lay sleeping, his breathing steady and even. I lay awake in his arms, tracing little circles absently on his chest. His warmth and strength were comforting and arousing at the same time.

Starting at his neck, I began bestowing tiny butterfly kisses along the contours of his upper torso, pausing occasionally to bestow tender nips or suckle gently at a particularly tantalizing area. Slowly, I pulled up into a raised position, allowing me to continue my ministrations on the other side of his chest.

Nuzzling my way back up his neck, I paused to drop a kiss on his earlobe.

"Ezra?"

"Mmmm?"

"Do you know what today is?" Pressing my lips to his shoulder one final time, I shifted so that I was straddling him.

Glancing up, I found him awake and staring at me intently. Wordlessly, he raised a hand and removed the tie that secured my hair, allowing it to tumble down my back in a jumbled mass of curls. I sighed as he began to massage my scalp, sending delicious tingles of pleasure throughout my body.

He watched with a soft smile, laughing softly as my back arched in satisfaction. Drawing me down, he kissed me lingeringly.

"Well do you?" I questioned after we parted.

"Do I what?"

"Remember what today is?" He rolled abruptly, pinning me beneath him.

"Today," he dropped a kiss onto my temple, "my love," another kiss, this time on my nose "marks the two week anniversary of the day you made me the happiest man in the world." He resumed his caresses, mimicking my actions from earlier.

A strangled cry escaped me as his head dipped into the valley between my breasts.

"You're beautiful. God, how could you ever doubt how happy you make me?" His voice was hoarse, whether from sleep or arousal I couldn't tell.

It was a rhetorical question and demanded no answer. Instead, I slipped my hand beneath the sheet, teasing lightly at the drawstring of his pants. He groaned and rolled us over in one fluid motion, pulling my shorts down as he did so. We loved each other as the sun crested St. Louis, its first rays bringing a new day and a new understanding between the two of us.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by quickly, with no mention of Evelyn and no more disturbances in our safe haven of domestic bliss. We settled into a comfortable routine, he and I. Early mornings were spent together beneath the warmth of blankets; then we drew apart to face the day, only to reunite when evening fell.

My fall break was upon me before I knew it and I was faced with the decision of leaving Ezra for three weeks or staying in St. Louis. In the end, I compromised: a week back home for thanksgiving and two weeks with him. While I was in Rosewood, he'd be flying to New York to spend the holiday with his family. Neither of us were quite ready to take the leap to going home with the other, and maybe it was the best decision for the time being. My parents, although accepting of our relationship, were far from understanding. His knew very little of me, aside from the fact that I was a good deal younger.

And so, it was on the first day of my break that I set about the daunting task of rearranging my living space for one, into a home for two. We'd brought most of his things over the day before, but Lee and a few of his friends had agreed to bring the furniture today. I'd worried at first that his things would overwhelm my tiny apartment. Instead, his well worn couch and arm chair seemed a perfect fit for my Spartan like living room. His Kerouac and Twain nestled in harmony with my Austen and Shakespeare on the multiple bookshelves. By day's end everything had been unpacked, the boxes were thrown out, and lasagna was baking in the oven for dinner.

I'd never really pictured myself as the homemaker type, but now, after working so hard to make the nondescript apartment a cozy home for Ezra and I, it wasn't so hard to imagine. With a sigh of content, I headed for the bedroom to shower and change into something a little nicer than the paint splattered sweats and cut up t-shirt I'd been sporting all day. Dark wash skinny jeans and a forest green silk top had never felt so good, or, I did a little twirl in front of the mirror, looked so amazing. A little mascara and lip gloss rounded out my look, leaving me feeling anything but the part of dowdy housewife I'd been playing all day.

I was chopping up tomatoes for a salad when Ezra walked in. It'd been raining and his hair was plastered to his forehead, tiny droplets of water dripping onto his jacket. He looked like a wet dog. Well, I grinned at him and let my eyes roam over his body, a very cute wet dog. His arms reached out to embrace me, but I halted him with a hand on his chest.

"You'll get me all wet." I smiled softly and beginning loosening his tie while he worked to shrug off his jacket. Within moments, he was left in only his button down shirt and corduroys, sleeves rolled up to his forearms and first few buttons undone.

"Better?"

"Mmm." I pressed a kiss to his lips before shimming out of his grasp. "Much. Now come on, I want to show you what I've been working on all day."

He grasped my hand to stop me. "Wait a sec."

Puzzled, I looked up him with brows knit and a frown on my face. "What is it?"

His eyes raked over my figure, leaving me with flushed cheeks and a pounding pulse.

"You look good." The way he drew out the syllables made the rhythm of my heart falter for minute. He reached out to finger the tie on my tunic, slipping the knot of the bow out with practiced ease.

I arched an eyebrow at him and shoved his hand away. "Later." It was both a promise and a sigh.

Tugging at his hand, I led him into the living room, glowing proudly when he praised my design skills.

The timer on the oven dinged just as we finished my impromptu tour about the newly decorated apartment, and we settled down to a candle lit dinner. Even now, after multiple dinners out and several coffee dates, I couldn't help but cherish these quiet moments alone. Two years ago I'd sworn him off as a passing fancy of high school, now being able to spend evenings like this made me teary eyed.

"Aria, what's wrong?" He reached across the table and took my hand, his thumb rubbing my palm in an attempt to soothe. I blinked back tears furiously, my vision blurring for a few moments before clearing again.

"Nothing. I'm just really, really," I squeezed his hand gently, "really happy."

He smiled then, the soft sort of one that was reserved for times like these. "Me too." Disentangling my fingers from his, he pushed his empty plate forward and slid his chair back from the table. "Come here."

I left my seat and moved to sit on his lap, my arms slipping around his neck and head nestling on his shoulder.

"What are we going for two whole weeks?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Stay in bed?" An airy giggle escaped my lips and I kissed his neck. I'd gotten lucky. The break of the high school coincided perfectly with my fall vacation.

"Mmm." He angled for a kiss, which I readily bestowed. "I like that idea very," a kiss just below my ear, "very," another kiss, this time on my collarbone, "very much." His hands ran down my sides, pausing for a tender set of squeezes at my waist. The action tickled and a throaty laugh escaped me.

"Care to start now?"

A wicked smirk and the sound of silk sliding to the floor were the only responses I got.

* * *

Being roused out of the warm embrace of Ezra's arms by a banging on the door was not my idea of a good start to the day. With a groan, I rolled over and nudged him in the ribs.

"Answer the door." My request was mumbled and muffled by the pillow I had pressed against me. Eyes bleary, I glanced over at the clock. It was only a little after nine, way too early for Erin to be over and Lee had just visited yesterday. Still half asleep, I prodded Ezra again, stifling a laugh at the way he scrunched his face against the harsh morning light. "The door."

He gave me an evil glare, but rolled out of bed and slipped on a pair of pajama pants, before heading out of the bedroom grumbling about bossy women. Smiling softly, I snuggled back under the blankets and dozed off.

Not five minutes later Ezra was back, confusion etched in his voice.

"Aria?" He shook my shoulder softly, jostling me out of my warm cocoon.

"What?" I cracked one eye open, and pushed his hand away.

"There's-um…I think you need to get dressed."

I sat up in bed, clutching the sheet tight against my chest. "What's wrong?" My mind flew in several directions, wondering if something terrible had happened.

He shook his head. "Nothing. There's just…someone, or rather a few someones to see you waiting in the living room."

Brows furrowed I looked at him uncertainly. Why was he being so vague?

"Aria, I'm not making this up. Now put these on and get out there." He thrust a tank top and pair of sweatpants toward me. I shrugged the clothes on and pulled my hair back over one shoulder. "I'm going to hop in the shower, I'll be out with you in a bit."

I was so annoyed by his reluctance to tell me what was really going on, that I frowned at him and headed out of the bedroom, forgoing our usual good morning kiss.

The sight that waited for me on my couch left me with just one thought: holy shit.

**A/N: Another long chapter! I feel like I've been working on this one forever, so I hope it's a good one. Next chapter we'll be taking a break from the heavy Ezria and have a little fun with some other characters. Be forewarned, there's some BIG surprises coming up. **

**Who else loved Monday's episode? I almost died of laughter at his face when she was unzipping her jacket in the classroom! It was priceless. And the whole "you look gooood" comment made me want to melt. **


	13. A Little Exercise Is In Order

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 13**

"_Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?__  
__Can we survive it out there?__  
__Can we make it somehow?__  
__I guess I thought that this would never end__  
__And suddenly it's like we're women and men__  
__Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?__  
__Will these memories fade when I leave this town__  
__I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye__  
__Keep on thinking it's a time to fly"_

~Graduation by Vitamin C

I'd never been so happy to see my three best friends in my entire life. Between the tears and laughter, group hugs and smiles, we managed to say our hellos, all four of us talking at once.

"Missed you."

"How have you been."

"Damn, you're tan."

It was a babbling mess that wouldn't have made sense to anyone but us. Finally, after several minutes of trying to spill everything that had happened over the past four months, we settled into a circle on the floor, sitting cross legged and staring at each other like old times.

"So, what are you guys doing here? I thought we were all supposed to meet up over thanksgiving."

"We were. But Melissa and my parents have decided to head to the Bahamas for the week and I'm going with them." Spencer smiled at me, her usual reserved manner dissolved by the excitement of being together again.

"What about you Hanna? Any big plans?"

"Maine with my dad and his new girlfriend." The grimace on her face revealing that she thought her holiday was going to be anything but great.

"Em?"

"Texas with my Mom. My dad's being deployed again soon, and we're going to spend some time with him before he goes."

Clutching a throw pillow to myself, I couldn't help the idiotic grin that formed on my lips. "I can't believe you guys are here! Spence, why didn't you tell me when I talked to you last night?"

"We wanted to surprise you. Besides, we weren't exactly planning on being greeted by our shirtless former English teacher when we got here. I trust that means you guys worked it out?" Spencer looked at me knowingly, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow daring me to tell all.

The goofy smile that was saved for thoughts of Ezra emerged and I blushed in response. Before I could say anything to affirm Spencer's question, Hanna spoke up.

"Jesus, if I'd known that's what he was hiding under those vests I'd have…"

She trailed off and her gaze flitted towards the bedroom door, her cheeks turning as crimson as her lipstick as she did so.

"Thank you, Hanna. I'm glad to know you appreciated me for something other than my looks."

I glanced over my shoulder to find Ezra leaning against the doorjamb, a teasing smirk on his lips. I couldn't help but envy him at that moment. It should be a sin for any human to look that damn good in a t-shirt and jeans.

"I'm going to go get coffee, you girls want anything?"

"I'll have a Grande skinny mocha chino no whip with-"

"Hanna, I think you should write that down." Ezra laughed as Hanna blushed and dug into her purse for a piece of paper.

He settled next to me on the floor, kissing my cheek and sliding an arm around my waist. "What about you?"

I tipped my head up to look at him, a large grin spreading across my lips. "The usual."

He shook his head and laughed. "One hot chocolate with extra whipped cream it is."

"Here you go, Mr. Fitz." Hanna handed him her order, with Spencer's and Emily's scribbled below.

He pushed himself off the ground and headed for the door, pausing to shrug on his jacket.

"Don't be too long." He turned and smiled at fondly at my remark before leaving the apartment.

* * *

Hanna erupted into peals of laughter the moment the door clicked shut "You guys are worse than Bella and Edward. It's sickening. If you could only see the look on your-"

Spencer cut her off with a glare that could've frozen boiling water. "Leave her alone. I think they're adorable."

"Hey guys?" I waved at them laughing at the shocked looks I received. "Yeah, I'm still here."

Emily, who'd been silent for most of the conversation, finally spoke up. "So are you free today? I know we kind of showed up announced."

"Of course! What did you have in mind?"

"Lunch, shopping, and anything else you think we should see. We're just here for a few days." I was surprise Spencer hadn't planned a minute by minute itinerary for their visit.

"Sounds like a good plan to me. Will you guys be alright out here while I shower? Ezra should be back soon and there's plenty of food-"

"We'll be fine, Aria. Just hurry up. I'm dying to get some new clothes!"

I rolled my eyes at Hanna and then stood up. "Twenty minutes tops. Oh, and guys? Try not to embarrass him too much? And Hanna, could please, please try and call him Ezra? Please?"

Hanna just smirked at me. "Nah, I think I'll stick with Mr. Fitz. This whole teacher-student thing is hot."

Both Emily and I let out barks of astonished laughter when Spencer smacked her across the back of the head.

"Ouch."

"Don't you ever censor yourself?"

"Huh?"

The three of us laughed at Hanna's confusion, the annoyed look on her face making it even more amusing.

"I can't believe you guys are really here!"

"Yeah well we may be gone by the time you actually get into the shower. Geez, Aria go get ready!

"Alright! I'm going. I'm going."

Flashing them one final smile, I sauntered off towards the bedroom, a slight bounce in my step.

* * *

I stood before the vanity in my bra and underwear, towel drying my hair when an arm snaked around my waist and spun me around.

"Hey." Ezra flashed me a smile, but didn't give me a chance respond as he dipped his down and captured my lips softly. He released me after a few moments and handed me my hot chocolate.

I stared at him dumbly for a few moments, caught up in how sinfully amazing he looked when he smiled at me like that. "Hey yourself."

Removing the lid from the cup, I licked a bit of the whipped cream off the top. 'Mmm."

Ezra laughed and shook his head. "Sometimes you're like a five year old."

I shrugged my shoulders and set the cup on the bathroom counter before turning back to face him. "But you love me anyway." He nodded and a brief look of tenderness crossed his face.

"That I do." His arms slid around me, his palms flattening against my lower back, the heat of his palms searing my skin. "Aria…" It was part breathy moan, part soft whisper, and it set my pulse racing. Lips flitted lightly across my forehead, down along the curve of my jaw line, and dipped along my collarbone, before moving back up to meet my own. He tasted sweet, most likely from the caramel coffee he was fond of.

I broke away softly and gave a gentle shove. "I've got to finish getting ready."

He nodded reluctantly and moved a safe distance away. "Care to explain why Hanna keeps calling me Mr. Fitz, with a heavy emphasis on the Fitz?"

I arched my eyebrow at him as he watched my reflection in the mirror. "I told her not to. She has this theory that…" I trailed off and let out a harsh laugh. "That the whole teacher-student thing is ummm…" I searched for a delicate way of putting it, but finding none I settled for Hanna's term. "Hot."

"Well, if I recall correctly we did have some heated moments."

He was inching closer and I shot him a warning look. The minute his fingertips traced feather light along the strap of my bra I snapped. "Ezra."

"Alright, alright, I'll behave. But could you at least put some clothes on? It's really hard to concen-"

Before he'd even finished his sentence I'd shimmied into my dress and cropped jacket. "There, better?"

He smiled shakily. "Not exactly. I mean, I kind of prefer you without clothes, but since you're insisting on-"

"Hush." I pressed a quick kiss to his lips and grabbed my hot chocolate off the counter. Snagging my purse from the chair by the door, I headed back into the living room, Ezra following closely behind me.

* * *

"That was way more than twenty minutes, Aria."

Hanna rolled her eyes at Spencer's comment. "Well what did you expect? I knew we were going to be in here for a while when he went in there."

I blushed deeply and Ezra laughed.

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, _Miss Marin_." Ezra's emphasis on her name drew a little laugh from everyone.

"Ready to go?" Emily stood up from the couch and picked up her purse.

"Yeah." I turned to Ezra with a sad smile. "This is alright with you right, I mean you're welcome to come with us but I just didn't think you'd really-"

"Aria, it's fine." He shook his head and smirked at me. "As much as I love being with you, there are some things, like shopping, that I'd just rather not do. Besides, I promised Andrew that I'd meet with him to go over my latest selection of short stories before they go to print."

"Are you sure?"

Another laugh. "Yes, I'm sure. Now go, before I force you out the door. I'll still be here when you get back."

I smiled at him and pressed lips to his quickly, before heading towards the door.

"Bye, Mr. Fitz!"

Ezra's laughter followed us out into the hallway.

* * *

We stopped for a quick bite to eat at a small café before hitting up the mall. Needless to say, the mall in St. Louis was far larger than the one in Rosewood and Hanna's eyes nearly bulged out of her head.

"I think I'm in heaven."

"So," I gestured towards all the stores, "where to first?" The only response was a sharp tug at my hand as Spencer dragged Emily and I towards whatever store Hanna had run off too.

Nearly two hours later Hanna finally seemed to be spent, both literally and physically. All four of us were loaded down with bags, most of them filled with winter clothing.

"So, are we done now?"

Emily, the one who enjoyed shopping the least out of all of us, had lost her patience somewhere between stores 6 and 7.

"Yeah, we are. There's just one more store I want to stop at before we go."

Spencer shrugged and readjusted her armload of bags. "Lead the way."

Victoria's Secret was fairly empty, with only a few other customers milling about. Spencer looked at me questioningly. "Why are we here?"

I flushed and twisted my over one shoulder out of habit. "Well, Ezra's birthday is at the end of this week and I wanted to do something special. I thought I'd start with something to-"

"Aria! What about this?" Hanna's exclamation cut off the ended of my sentence and we whirled to face her. My eyes grew large as I took in the barely there teddy she held in her hands.

"Jesus, Hanna! She's seducing him, not killing him." Spencer shot her a disapproving look and moved over to thumb through the racks of baby doll nighties.

Hanna just shrugged her shoulders at Spencer's reprimand and skipped off to a different part of the store.

"If you guys don't mind, I think I'm going to sit this one out." Emily heaved herself into one of the arm chairs near the dressing rooms and settled all of our bags at her feet. I cast her a sympathetic look and promised to be done as fast as possible.

"Aria, what about this one?"

Spencer handed me a satin midnight blue nightie with black lace accents. The fabric was the same color was Ezra's eyes when he was aroused and I knew instantly it was the one.

"It's perfect. I just need to try it on really fast and then we'll go."

Spencer thrust the matching lace panties into my hand. "Don't forget these."

I'd never seen something that fit my body so flattering or felt so light on my skin. The dark hue contrasted perfectly with the chocolate color of my hair and eyes. It was done deal.

I paid of it quickly and dragged Hanna out of the store as Emily and Spencer fell into step behind us. It was after five when we finally made it back to the apartment, feet aching and arms laden with shopping bags. Ezra met us at the door, his eyes widening in shock at the number of bags we were carrying.

I dropped mine by the door and gave him a quick kiss. "Relax; most of them are Hanna's."

He visibly loosened up and slipped an arm around my waist. "Did you have fun?"

"Tons. Although I'm pretty sure my feet are going to hate me for it tomorrow."

He laughed and moved away to help the others with their bags.

Once everything was settled the four of us collapsed onto the couch, grateful to finally give our legs a break.

Ezra looked at us in amusement, a small smile quirking the corner of his lips. "I've heard of shopping til' to you drop, but I've never…" He trailed off and sank into an armchair, a broad grin spreading over his face. "So I take it you guys aren't feeling going out for dinner?"

We groaned in unison. "I could kill for some pizza right now."

Ezra smiled at Emily. "Pizza it is." He stood and headed for the kitchen to get the phone book.

"So where are the three of you staying?"

"At the hotel just around the corner."

"That's a long walk." Hanna sighed and sank further into the couch.

"I'll drive you back after we eat and then we can meet up again tomorrow morning."

"Sounds like a good plan to me. Food, shower, bed. That's my to do list for the rest of the night."

"Ditto."

* * *

All four of us were half asleep by the time pizza arrived, but the smell of melted cheese and pepperoni coming from the boxes was too good to pass up. The five of us settled around the coffee table, Ezra to my right and Spencer to my left. Conversation flowed freely, and by the time we'd finished eating I didn't feel nearly as tired.

The same couldn't be said for my friends. All three of them looked ready to pass out on my floor.

"Ready for bed, guys?"

"Mhmm." Spencer staggered to her feet, followed by Emily, and finally Hanna.

"I'm just going to run them to their hotel, Ezra, and then I'll be back."

He nodded and started to clear away the pizza boxes.

Slowly, the four of us gathered the bags and trudged down to the parking garage. The ride over to their hotel was silent, and it wasn't until we finally made it to their room that Spencer spoke.

"I'll call you sometime tomorrow morning. It'll probably be late though. By the looks of it, I'm not sure if Hanna will actually make it to the bed."

"Sounds good." Impulsively I hugged her. "I'm glad you guys are here. I've missed you."

"We've missed you too, Aria."

Spencer turned and followed the other two into the room, the door closing softly behind them.

* * *

Ezra was flipping channels when I got back, feet propped on the coffee table, and head resting against the back of the couch.

I dropped my keys and jacket onto the kitchen counter before curling against him on the couch.

"I missed you today."

His lips brushed my forehead. "Mmm."

A heavy sigh escaped me and he looked down worriedly. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "Just tired. I haven't been shopping like that in forever."

He nestled me close against his chest and slipped a hand over my hip.

"How did your meeting with Andrew go?"

"Good. We've got everything settled for the next book. It should be in stores sometime next month."

I sat up in surprise and grinned at him. "That's wonderful!"

He laughed and tugged me back down. "It is. But you know what's even better?"

"What?"

"You."

I rolled my eyes and swatted at him playfully. "Ezra?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you want for your birthday?"

He looked thoughtful for a minute. "You."

I laughed and sat up again. "I'm serious! Besides, you already have me." I ran a hand through his hair, my nails teasing lightly at the back of his neck.

"And I'm serious. All I want is you." He drew me down to him and kissed me softly. "I love you.'

I smiled into the kiss and allowed him to push me back onto the couch, his hands pushing my dress up as he did so. For a few moments things remained soft and teasing, but our passion quickly got the best of us and soon I couldn't seem to get his shirt off fast enough.

As his lips traveled just below my ear, I couldn't help the moan that escaped me. He'd discovered all my sensitive spots our first night together and was always swift to use them to his advantage. I let him torment me with fiery kisses and searing touches until it the ache inside of me grew too much. With a breathless groan I shoved him away.

"Bedroom."

He scooped me up and carried me, laying me down softly onto the comforter before shrugging off his jeans.

I'd stripped off my underwear and bra by the time he glanced back up again, done with the teasing foreplay. With a sharp tug of my arm, he tumbled down beside me, laughing as I smiled brilliantly at him.

**A/N: This took me forever to write! It's so hard to have five people in a conversation at one time! I'm sorry updating took so long, but junior year is kicking my butt. Juggling six classes with clubs and afterschool activities is no easy feat. There's going to be some big surprises coming up soon, and I'm choosing a few lucky reviewers to give me input on some ideas I have. So, check your inboxes for private messages!**

**Up Next: Let's take a little tour of St. Louis, shall we? And perhaps dinner with Andrew?**


	14. Bittersweet

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 14**

"_And I am not alone while my love is near me__  
__I know it will be so until it's time to go__  
__So come the storms of winter and then the birds in spring again__  
__I have no fear of time__  
__For who knows how my love grows?"_

~Eva Cassidy: Where the Time Goes

As Spencer had predicted the previous evening, all of us slept in the next morning. Ezra and I didn't wake until nearly eleven and I wasn't all that surprised when Emily called to tell me that they too were just getting up. We agreed to meet for lunch in an hour at small café down by the riverfront.

Tossing the phone onto the nightstand after hanging up with her, I flopped back down onto the bed next to Ezra.

"You're coming with us today."

"Aria, I don't have to tagalong. I'm perfectly capable of finding some way to entertain myself for the day."

I frowned at him and tugged his t-shirt from the night before over my head. "If that's the way you feel, then fine."

"That's not what I meant. I just thought you'd like to spend as much time with the girls as you could, they're only here until tomorrow."

A heavy sigh escaped my lips and lay down beside him. "I know, but it'd mean a lot if you came with us. Besides, Hanna's insanely jealous. It'll be fun to watch her drool over you."

He laughed and twisted a lock of my hair around his finger. "Okay. But no shopping, okay?"

I nodded. "No shopping."

Lips brushed my temple and then he rolled off the bed, snagging a towel off the back of nearby chair. "Care to join me?"

He smirked and I broke into giggles. "There's no way we'll be on time if I do."

Disappointment flashed briefly across his face and for a moment I felt bad for rejecting him. "But Ezra, I'm sure that after sightseeing all day I'll want to shower again when we get home." My eyebrows arched suggestively and he laughed.

"Now that you mention it, that doesn't sound half bad." He grinned at me one more time before entering the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Lunch was a simple affair, various sandwiches and salads eaten on the riverside patio. The November day was unseasonably warm and perfect for sightseeing.

"So, did you guys have any specific place in mind?" I leaned back in my chair and tipped my face towards the golden sunshine.

"Well the arch of course, and then that art park-what was it called again Emily?"

"Citygarden."

"Yeah, that was it. I wanted to visit the art museum too, but these two" Spencer gestured towards Hanna and Emily, "wanted nothing to do with it."

Hanna took a sip of her ice water and set it back on the table. "Well it's stupid to stay inside when it's so nice out here. Come on Spence, there's snow on the ground back home. Don't you just love feeling the sunshine?"

Ezra laughed as Hanna mimicked me and slid her sunglasses down onto her nose before reclining back in her chair. "Well the arch is just a few blocks from here. Why don't we start there?" Beneath the table his hand was tracing little circles on my knee. For a brief moment his fingertips danced along side of it and the action sent me into fits of giggles. Damn ticklish spots. The girls looked up at me in surprise and I shoved his hand away. He just smirked and reached to take a sip of Coke.

I glared at him and rose from the table. "Everyone ready?"

Emily was the first to stand. "Yup. I need to walk off everything I just ate." Spencer followed suit and shrugged her jacket back on.

"Let's go!"

* * *

The day passed quickly and it was with a heavy heart that we parted after dinner. I wouldn't see the girls again until Christmas. Ezra had been a good sport all day, laughing along with us as Hanna ribbed him about being an _old man _and Emily pointed out how many stares he drew from girls we passed on the street. However, when the waterworks came out and the four of us ended up crying, blubbering messes, he headed back up to the apartment and left us in the parking lot.

"Thank you guys for flying out here! I really needed it." I hugged each of them in turn and made futile attempts to clear my tear-blurred eyes.

"We'll be back and we'll all see each other at Christmas. We can't let our annual ski trip pass us by just because we're living in different states."

"Definitely not!"

We all laughed at Hanna's excited exclamation.

"I've really missed all of you."

"We've missed you, too, Aria." There was another round a hugs, a brief flash of sad, parting smiles, and then they loaded back into their car and were gone.

It was like leaving Rosewood all over again. Watching my three best friends was like losing a part of me. After all we'd been through, we'd come to depend upon each other. Separate, we weren't whole.

And so, it was with a heavy sigh and tear stained cheeks that I headed up to the apartment, ready to curl up with Ezra and catch up on some much needed sleep.

* * *

Ezra was doing dishes when I entered the kitchen, humming softly to himself as he worked. With a self-satisfied grin I realized it was our song from that first day in the bar. Moving quietly and swiftly I moved to stand behind him, my arms winding tightly around his waist in a hug.

He jumped and dropped the plate he'd been scrubbing back into the sink, sending a shower of soap suds and water over the both of us. He turned to face me, the front of his white soaked to transparency, and sudsy hair falling limply over one eye. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me as I soap from his forehead. He scowled at me and slicked his hair back from his face. "You think it's funny?"

I should've none by the tone in his voice that I was in for it. Instead, I laughed again. He moved so fast that I didn't know what was coming until it hit me-literally. In one swift movement, he took the detachable head of the tap and sent a blast of icy cold water straight into my face. With a shriek I lunged blindly for him, managing in the process to yank the hose from him and shove it back into the sink. He laughed at me as I tried to clear the mascara from underneath my eyes. Oh he was in for it!

Smirking, I slipped an arm around his neck and drew his lips to mine. He responded eagerly, his distraction providing me with the perfect chance to fill a glass full of sudsy water. At the exact moment, his hands slid from my waist to settle lower on my hips, I jerked back and dumped the contents of the cup all over his head. Payback felt good.

The retaliation I'd been expecting never came. Instead, he chuckled and drew me close again. "I love you."

Leave it to him to turn me from playful to romantic mush in a matter of seconds. He shook his head back and forth like a dog, sending tiny water droplets all over me.

Giggling lightly, I shoved him away and tugged my wet shirt off, leaving me only in a tank top.

"Look at this mess!" The kitchen floor was covered in water, as were the counters.

Ezra looked at me accusingly. "You started it."

"I did not. You're the one who freaked out. I was just trying to hug you."

"Well, you didn't have to sneak up on me like that." We both laughed as we realized how silly we sounded arguing over a water fight. Ezra shrugged off his sopping wet tee and tossed it on the floor next to mine.

Another self-satisfied grin tugged at the corners of my mouth as I surveyed his bare chest. It was sinful for someone to look so damn good.

"Like the view?"

He flexed and struck a model-like pose.

I laughed softly and wrapped my arms around his middle, sighing softly as the heat of his skin warmed my chilled body. "Very much."

One hand tipped my chin up and the other pressed firmly at my lower back as he lowered his head to mine. Just before he was about to kiss me he paused and I whimpered lightly.

"I believe you promised me a shower this morning."

Stretching up onto my toes, I twined my arms around his neck and rested my forehead against his. "I did, didn't I?"

"Mmm." His lips were too busy doing delicious things to my jaw line to warrant an articulate, vocal response.

"Well, by all means, lead the way."

* * *

Two hours later we lay spooned together on the bed, his chin resting on top of my shoulder. Sated and sweaty, we'd defeated the purpose of our shower. I turned my head to glance at the clock, and was surprised at how late it was.

"You'll be twenty-five in less than five minutes."

"Mmm. I'm getting old." He rolled onto his back and tugged me so that I lay nearly on top of him.

"Very old." I laughed and drew a hand down his chest. "Maybe even way, way, way too old for me."

He rolled his eyes and kissed my temple. "Very funny. You know how you asked me the other night what I wanted from my birthday?"

"Yeah." I sat up expectantly and stared down at him. I hadn't managed to find him a present besides my lingerie and had planned on slipping out to find him something in the morning.

"Well, I've been thinking about it." His voice was uneven and his stare was serious.

"And?"

"I want you."

I groaned and flopped back on the bed. "You already have me. Couldn't you make it easy and just tell me the name of a book you want? I've been driving myself crazy trying to find the perfect gift."

He shifted to look at me, propping himself up on an elbow. His free hand trailed up from my bellybutton, over the indentation of my collar bone, and finally came to cup my cheek in his palm.

"No, Aria. I mean I want you…forever." He swallowed heavily and his voice was thick when he spoke. "Aria, will you marry me?"

**A/N: For those of you haven't heard, I've created a website for this story and a few of the others I'm working on. Be sure to check it out...the link is on my profile. As for this chapter...whew it took forever. I think I'm pretty satisfied with the overall result, even though it feels like I rushed Hanna/Spencer/Emily's visit. **


	15. Do We Want To Make A Memory?

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 15**

**

* * *

**

If you go now, I'll understand  
If you stay, hey, I got a plan  
You wanna make a memory  
You wanna steal a piece of time  
You could sing a melody to me  
And I could write a couple lines  
You wanna make a memory.

~You Want To Make A Memory by Bon Jovi

* * *

I stared at him mutely for a moment, my heart hammering in my chest and blood pounding in my head. Marriage. It was such a tiny word, yet it carried the weight of the world within its syllables.

"Aria-" His voice was pained and I realized that what seemed like only seconds to me was eons for him.

"Yes." I blurted it out before thinking and disbelief crossed both our faces. He sat up quickly, his surprise evident by his wide eyes and creased brow.

"You're sure?"

I reached out to trace the angle of his jaw, my fingertips trailing roughly over his stubble. It was a valid question. Was I really sure? I'd stunned myself with my rapid answer; it had been a gut reaction. Saying no never entered my mind, but the phrase _too soon_ had. And by the norms of society it was too soon, way too soon. One look at him though and I forgot the rest of the world. Screw society and its rules. "I'm sure."

The heavy dose of finality in my voice made it a powerful statement and the emotions of the moment caught up with me as a tear rolled down my cheek.

Ezra's thumb brushed it away tenderly and he smiled softly at me.

I swallowed back the lump that was forming in my throat and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "I love you."

He kissed me in response, his lips lingering slowly over mine. "I love you, too."

Keeping me held snuggly within his arms; he rolled us over so that he lay on his back. The two of us were quiet for a few minutes, reflecting individually on what the promise we'd just made to each other meant.

"Ezra?"

"Hmm?" He glanced down at me, the pads of his fingertips continuing their lazy cycle of circles over my hipbone.

A giggle escaped me and I tilted my head up to meet his lips before responding. "We're getting married!" I couldn't help the excited note in my voice. I broke in peals of laughter again and this time he joined in.

"Well yes, that's generally what happens when you get engaged." He kissed me lightly, his lips curling into a smile over mine. I broke away and settled my head on his bare chest.

'Aria Fitz…" I rolled the sound of it around on my tongue, testing out each syllable of our joined names. "I like it."

The boyish grin I loved so dearly spread across his face. "Me too."

I fell silent for a moment, the enormity of what we were doing, what we were going to do finally sinking in. Having another chance at forever with the amazing man holding me seemed like a miracle.

"I didn't think this would ever be possible."

His stilled beneath me, the lock of my hair he'd been twirling in his fingers dropping softly over my collarbone.

"When you left the first time…Ezra, I'd never been so heartbroken. Losing you was like losing the other half of me."

"Aria-"

I pressed a finger to his kiss swollen lips to silence his protests.

"No I…I need to get this out." Sitting up, I tugged his discarded t-shirt from earlier in the evening over my head. Knees drawn up to my chest and throat tight with emotion I searched my thoughts for the best place to begin. We'd never spoken much of our past, preferring to let the pain of it remained deeply buried. Now, after taking such a serious step, it seemed a necessary thing to do.

"What we had-have, what we have, is so special. But you and I have known that from the very first day in the bar, haven't we?"

It was a rhetorical question and he offered no response save the pained expression he'd been wearing since I'd started the conversation.

"You leaving without so much as a goodbye was like calling our entire relationship worthless-like calling me worthless." He reached for me then and I shifted to move out of his grasp. I wouldn't be able to continue if he held me. One touch from him and my thoughts would be muddled beyond repair. "And the hardest part was having to shrug off everyone and tell them I was fine. Because I wasn't fine, Ezra! I wasn't."

With a heavy sigh my resolve to stay away from him during my speech weakened, and I lay down beside him, my legs curling between his and my head nestling into the crook of his neck.

"But I don't regret it. I wish you'd done things differently because it totally messed me up and I felt miserable most of the time…" A harsh laugh escaped me and I pressed a kiss to his chin. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that in a way I'm glad you left. If you'd stayed I don't think we'd be where we are now. I mean I'd like to think we would've survived two years of high school but…"

His hand came up to stroke my hair, his fingers raking softly through the tangled curls. "Aria, leaving you, especially the way I did, was the worst decision of my life. I've never regretted anything so much." His voice caught and he swallowed thickly. "You're right though. We probably wouldn't be where we are now." He sighed heavily and buried his face in my hair.

My hand traveled the length of his forearm and bicep, tugging his arms tighter around me in the process. Voice barely above a whisper, I finally asked the question we'd been skirting around the entire conversation. "Why did you… leave the way you did?"

"I was a coward. It was getting too hard to stand up in front of class everyday and call you Miss Montgomery. I couldn't keep my feelings in check, and it wasn't fair to you." He shifted beneath me, rolling us over so that he was propped onto one arm beside me. "I wanted to see you one last time so badly. To tell you how I felt. To tell you why I was leaving."

The old resentment welled within me and my voice was bitter as I spoke. "Yeah, why didn't you?"

"Because," he swallowed thickly, "I would've changed my mind."

"And that would've been a bad thing?"

"Maybe." Dejectedly, he flipped onto his back, folding his arms across his chest. "Do you think either of us will ever get over what happened?" He turned his head to look at me, a sad smile on his lips.

"No."

He nodded, his mouth forming into a grim line of acceptance.

"Hey now." I leaned over him, my tiny hands cupping his face and bringing his gaze to mine. "It doesn't matter anymore though. We're here now, and it's just the two of us. There's no classroom. No rules. There's just you and I." I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand: 12:15am. "And it's your birthday."

Nuzzling his neck, I began to pepper light kisses along the length of it. He laughed throatily and shoved my head away softly.

"You forgot the most important part."

My lips trailed over his jaw line, pausing at the corner of his mouth to whisper a soft, "what?"

"I'm holding the future Mrs. Fitz in my arms." He caught my mouth tenderly with his own, the two of us laughing and grinning like idiots.

"Happy Birthday, Ezra." He smiled brilliantly at me, his eyes crinkly around the corners in amusement.

"I feel old."

"You are old." He frowned at me and I laughed. "But you're an adorable old man." I pressed a final kiss to his cheek and settled back onto my pillows. A yawn escaped me and my eyes closed slowly. "Love you."

It was half mumbled into my pillow, but he kissed my forehead and slid an arm over my waist in response. "And I love you, Aria."

* * *

Ezra's side of the bed was empty and cold when I awoke the next morning. It was early yet, only a half past seven, with only the faintest rays of sunlight beginning to filter through the blinds. Brow furrowed in confusion, I sat up sleepily in bed, my eyes wandering towards the bathroom to see if he was in the shower; he wasn't.

Panic set in quickly when I realized the apartment was deathly quiet. Thoughts racing thousands of miles a minute, I wracked my brain trying to remember if he'd mentioned going somewhere or having to run an errand; he hadn't.

My anxiety ended just moments later when a fluorescent pink post it note stuck to the bedside table caught my eye. That definitely hadn't been there before. After peeling it off the book it was stuck to, I settled back onto the pillows to read what he had written.

_To my beautiful wife-to-be,_

_ I woke up early this morning and decided to go for a run. I would've woken you but you looked so peaceful sleeping and we were up late last night. I should be back by eight, and then I thought we could grab breakfast afterwards?"_

_ Love, Ezra._

With a happy sigh, I lay back on the bed, burrowing beneath the blankets and clutching his pillow to my chest. _Mr. and Mrs. Fitz. Aria and Ezra Fitz. Aria Fitz. _The names rollicked around in my head, each one bringing a ready blush and giddy giggle. Gone was my reluctance of the night before. Gone were my doubts that it was too much, too fast. I, Aria Montgomery, rebellious, mature young woman had turned into a giggling, pink cheeked mass of bride, if only for a few minutes.

"What's so funny?"

In my fit of mirth I hadn't noticed Ezra in the doorway. Grinning broadly, I rolled out of bed and met him at the door.

"Us." I kissed him quickly and couldn't help but smile as he laughed in response. "Happy Birthday."

He kissed me again. "It is, but who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him and twined my arms around his neck. "I'm just incredibly happy."

That soft smile that he reserved for me alone came over his face and he brushed a strand of hair away from my cheek. "Me too."

"So breakfast?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "That's more like the Aria I know, always thinking about food."

"Well you do have a knack for making me work up an appetite."

He smirked and tugged at the t-shirt I was wearing suggestively. "Yeah, well what do you say we work on a bit more before we leave?"

I grinned and kissed his cheek softly, my lips lingering near his ear. "Race you to the shower!"

* * *

**A/N: **So this chapter is nowhere near where I wanted it to be and it doesn't cover half the stuff I had planned for it...but I promised you guys an update by today at the latest so here it is. Marriage? Hmmm...yeah this is not going to be an easy walk down the aisle for these two. Where would the fun be in that? Also, don't forget to review and check out the site I have up for this story...link's on my profile.


	16. Two Plane Tickets, Please?

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 16**

Later that evening I stood alone in our bedroom, surveying my appearance in the full length mirror. The dark blue silk of the nightie I'd bought earlier in the week was the perfect contrast to my milky white skin. The black lace that edged the hem brushed tantalizingly against the tops of my thighs, revealing just a hint of the underwear I wore underneath, and the sweetheart cut of the neckline revealed just enough to be sexy without crossing the line into slutty. One more quick tousle of my hair and I looked every bit the seductress I'd been aiming for.

Butterflies fluttering low in my stomach, whether from arousal or nerves I couldn't be sure, I smoothed the material over my hips one more time and stepped out into the living room. Ezra lay on the couch, a book in one hand, and the other behind his head. I paused in the doorway, my lips curving into a soft smile as I took in his relaxed pose and contented expression.

"Happy Birthday, Ezra." My voice was barely above a whisper as I moved towards him, my bare feet padding softly on the carpeted floor.

"Aria, aren't you sick of-" He trailed off abruptly, the book he'd been reading making a thud on the coffee table as he tossed it aside. "You look…" He paused for a moment and took my hands within his own. "Wow."

I broke away and reached up to twine my arms around his neck, the length of my body molding to his. "I love you."

"Mmm." His lips burned a fiery trail down the column of my neck as his fingers brushed teasingly along the hem of my too short slip. I playfully slapped his hands away and pushed him back onto the couch.

"Do you like it?" I did a little twirl in front of him, a cautious smile on my lips.

"I love it. Now come here!" He lunged for me with one hand, his fingers brushing my waist, but failing in their attempt to pull me closer.

"I'm the one who's supposed to be doing the seducing here, remember?"

Settling a leg on either side of his, I shifted so that I was straddling him, the silk of my dress sliding up and revealing the lace of the panties beneath.

"I like these too." He laughed quietly as he trailed a finger lightly along the waistband of my underwear. I shivered, my back arching in response to his touch. He laughed again and I shook my head at him.

"Shhh." I silenced him with a tender kiss, my hands running up and over his chest. Button by button I peeled away his shirt, the tips of my fingers dipping inside the fabric every so often to brush lightly over his abs. With a little maneuvering I was able to shrug it off of him, the material bunching behind him. I flattened my palms against his chest and ran them slowly up the heated expanse of skin, pausing only when I reached his shoulders.

"Ezra." His name was nothing more than a brief whisper on my lips before I leaned down and kissed him fervently. I rocked against him, the lace of my underwear scraping roughly against the denim of his jeans. His hands, which had been trapped behind him by the material of his shirt, wriggled free and came up to grip my hips tightly.

"Bedroom." His command was throaty, voice catching somewhat as I buried my face in his neck and sucked lightly at his pulse point.

"Mmm."

Ezra stood up, one arm hooked tightly around my back to keep me from falling, the other busy tangling itself in my hair as I angled for a kiss. When he stumbled over some unseen object just a few steps from the bedroom door and sent the two of us slamming into the wall, I crumbled into giggles even as he winced.

Unhooking my legs from around his waist, I slid down slowly onto my own two feet. He frowned at me as I laughed, a response that made me smile even broader.

I reached up and pressed a kiss to the shoulder he was rubbing. "You know, we really should invest in a bigger couch."

He chuckled softly then and kissed me lightly. "Sounds like a good plan to me. Now where were we?"

I stood on tiptoe and wrapped my arms around his neck again. "I believe," I nuzzled his cheek softly; "we were right about," my lips brushed his teasingly, "here."

* * *

I awoke the next morning to a very warm pair of hands trailing slowly up my abdomen. Capturing them within one of my own, I drew them to rest over my heart and mumbled a sleepy good morning.

"Do have any idea how beautiful you are when you're asleep?"

Ezra nuzzled my shoulder and pressed a warm kiss to my neck.

"You're crazy." I tugged his arm tightly around me and sighed softly.

"What can I say? I'm in love." He laughed and squeezed me tightly to his side.

"How am I supposed to go back to waking up alone?" I hadn't meant to mar such a warm moment with the sad thought of our impending separation, but with both of us flying our separate ways tomorrow it couldn't be helped.

He shifted beside me, rolling the two of us over so that I lay beneath him. "I've been thinking about that. What if you don't?"

"Ezra, I have to go home for Thanksgiving."

"Let me finish." He tucked a strand of hair back behind my ear and smiled gently. "What if you come home with me for a few days? I'd like for you to meet my father."

"But-"

He shushed me again, this time with a finger over my lips. "And then you go back home to Rosewood the day before Thanksgiving and I'll join you that Friday?"

I lay there silently for a moment, contemplating the solution he was suggesting. I t would mean spending only one day apart and meeting each other's parents-as a couple- would be the next logical step. I grinned and nodded eagerly.

"Ezra Fitz, you're a genius!" I kissed him soundly for a few seconds before breaking away with a happy smile on my lips.

"Well, there's a reason I teach AP Composition." He smirked and I shoved him away playfully.

"We'll have to get the plane tickets switched and I haven't even packed yet and I'll have to call my parents-holy shit I have to call my parents!" I bolted up in bed and looked frantically around for my cell phone.

"Aria." Ezra's voice was calm and his touch firm as he pulled me back down beside him. "It'll be fine. Calling your parents can wait until after breakfast."

I sighed heavily and lay back against him. He was right…as usual. "Well, I am hungry."

He rolled away from me and slid his jeans from the previous night back on. "Breakfast in bed it is. And don't you dare touch that phone until I get back."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Mr. Fitz."

He shook his head at me and gave a small laugh. "Some things never change."

* * *

Ten minutes later he returned with two bowls, two spoons, a carton of milk, and a box of Fruit Loops.

I giggled as he handed me my bowl. "Classy."

He stuck his tongue out at me. "Don't judge. You like cereal as much as I do."

"Touché."

******************************************************************************************************************************************************* After the breakfast dishes had been set aside and I'd managed to slip into a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, I finally felt ready to make the most important phone call of my life-telling my parents I was engaged to my former English teacher.

Ezra sat beside me as I dialed the number, his hand rubbing light circles in the small of my back, ready to offer support should it be needed.

The phone rang just twice before my mom answered.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey mom."

_"Aria, I was just about to call you and find out what time your flight gets in."_

"That's actually what I was calling you about to. Mom, I need to tell you something."

_ "Aria, honey, you're scaring me. Is everything alright?"_

"Everything's fine, I promise. Could you just sit down for a second, please?"

_"Sure. Alright, I'm sitting."_

I took the moment to glance over at Ezra and he smiled reassuringly.

I let out a shaky breath and Ezra squeezed my waist gently, "You know how I told you that Ezra and I started dating a few months back and-"

_"Jesus Aria! You're not pregnant are you?"_

I almost laughed at the worry in my mother's voice-almost.

"No mom, I'm not pregnant. Actually, we're…that is to say…Ezra and I, we're getting married."

I cringed as I waited for an angry shout or an equally awful shriek from my mother. Instead there was silence-dead silence.

"Mom?"

_"I'm here honey. Don't you think this is too sudden? It's just that you're awfully young and I-"_

"I know that Mom, but I love him more than anything else in the world and it would mean a lot to me if we had your blessing."

_"Is he there with you? I'd like to speak with him." _

"Yeah, he's here…but I don't know if that's a good-"

_"Now, Aria! I'd like to speak to him now."_

Eyes wide and hand trembling slightly I handed the phone over to Ezra. "He wants to speak with you."

Ezra's expression matched my own and he took the phone shakily.

"Hello?"

I couldn't hear my mother's side of the conversation, but from what Ezra was saying things weren't looking too good.

"Yes Ella, I understand that but-No, I wouldn't dream of-Thank you."

Ezra handed the phone back to me and smiled softly. "She's all yours."

"Mom?"

_"Aria, are you sure this is what you want? If he's pressuring you or there's something else you're not-"_

"He's not pressuring me and for the last time mom, I'm not pregnant. Mom, I've never been so sure of something in my life and it's not like we're getting married tomorrow."

_"Alright. I guess this is the part where I congratulate you_?" She sounded unsure and his voice cracked as he spoke_. "My little girl-getting married. I love you, Aria."_

"I love you too, mom. Listen, Ezra wants me to fly home with him to meet his parents for a few days before I come home for Thanksgiving. I'll be home on the Wednesday before and I was thinking maybe-maybe he could fly down the following Friday?"

_"That sounds fine, Aria. What time should I expect you on Wednesday?"_

"I don't know just yet, I have to change my ticket. I'll let you know as soon as I find out."

_ "Talk to you then, sweetie."_

"Bye mom."

I hung up the phone and let out a huge sigh of relief. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be."

Ezra looked at me skeptically. "She didn't threaten to murder you either."

Eyes wide, I stared at him worriedly.

"I'm kidding, Aria. She only threatened bodily harm. But she gave us her blessing and that's all that matters right?" He slid an arm around my waist and held me close.

I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder for a few moments. He was quiet too, toying softly with my fingers where they lay intertwined with mine above the comforter.

A brief thought crossed my mind and I jolted away from Ezra, my eyes flying open in shock.

He glanced over at me, brow creased in confusion.

"Aria? What' s wrong?"

"Ezra-you may have escaped my mother intact, but we haven't called my father yet."

Suddenly, he didn't look so confident.

* * *

Half an hour and several tense moments later, I finally hung up with my father. Needless to say things hadn't gone as smoothly as they had with my mother. Poor Ezra had borne the brunt of my father's ire, suffering through several impolite names and terrible curses before I'd managed to calm him down. Thankfully though, our troubles had not been for naught. My father had given his consent, albeit rather reluctantly, with the promise that Ezra and I would drive down to see him the weekend after Thanksgiving.

"That was-wow. I did not see that coming."

I rubbed Ezra's back soothingly and sat down beside him on the couch.

"I did. I tried to warn you before I handed you the phone."

He laughed shakily and managed a half smile. "Yeah, I guess you did."

"Hey now," I curled up against him and kissed his cheek softly, "we have his blessing and that's the most important thing. He'll come around, he always does."

Ezra stared at me for a moment, before sighing heavily and tugging me into his lap. "I hope you're right."

I grinned at him and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. "I'm always right."

He rolled his eyes and trailed his fingers slowly up my sides before pausing just below my rib cage. "Oh yeah?" With a mischievous grin he dug in with his fingers, startling a sharp yelp from my lips as he tickled me.

"Ezra, please!" I rolled off his lap and onto the cushions of the couch, tears of mirth streaming from my eyes. "Ezra…stop" A loud giggle. "Please….please stop."

He finally relented, hovering over me for a few brief seconds to study my flushed face.

"Ezra, that wasn't very-"

I met his gaze, surprised to find it so serious after the playful mood he'd been in just moments ago.

"Shhh." He traced a feather light trail along my jaw line with his lips pausing just before he reached my lips. "You're so beautiful." He captured my lips slowly, his tongue teasing slowly against mine.

Just like that I melted, my breath stolen both figuratively and literally. When he finally pulled away, I'm fairly certain that I was grinning like a cat that'd gotten the cream.

"Wow." I reached up and twined my arms around his neck, pulling his forehead down to rest against mine. "What was that for?"

"For being you."

I ran a hand through his unruly hair, trying to restore some order to the chaotic mess I'd created. "Mmm." I leant up and pressed my lips against his, delighting when he settled his weight fully against me, his arms slipping beneath me to crush me against his chest.

We stayed like for a few seconds, fused along every plane of our bodies, separated only by our thin layers of clothing. Finally, when I was beginning to feel light-headed from the pleasure of it all, I settled back against the couch with a reluctant sigh.

"I love you."

He smiled down at me. "I love you, too."

The buzzing of my phone interrupted our perfect little moment and he rolled off of me. He glanced down at the screen for a moment before tossing the phone to me. "It's Erin."

I took it from him and clicked talk. "Hello?"

_"Aria! Where have you been for the past few days? I thought you'd died or something."_

I laughed and rolled my eyes at Ezra. "Nope, I'm still alive."

Ezra bent down to kiss my cheek and then disappeared back into the bedroom.

_"So what's up? Last time I talked to you, your friends from back home were in town."_

"They were and it was a lot of fun. I didn't realize until they were here how much I'd miss them. How are things with Ethan? That was his name, wasn't it?"

_"Yeah, I've moved on. This week his name's Derrick."_

"Think he's a keeper?"

_ "Nah. But he's got loads of money."_

I laughed and lay back onto the couch. Some things never changed.

_"What about you? How are things with you and Mr. Hottie Pants?"_

"He does have a name, Erin."

_"I know, but Mr. Hottie Pants fits him so perfectly. I mean have you seen how good he looks in a pair of jeans? It should be illegal."_

My eyes widened and I laughed in shock. "Erin! But you're right...and you've never even seen him without those pants on."

Her high pitched giggle matched mine. _"I know, and I'm jealous. Any chance you'll get tired of him? "_

"Not a chance. Actually, he and I…we're getting married."

The over the top, excited reaction I'd been waiting for finally came. _"Oh my gosh! Congratulations, Aria! How did he propose? I mean was it all candle light and wine? Or was it something more typical of you two-some sort of poem or something?"_

"Neither. We were lying in bed and I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. It was so sweet. He said all he wanted was me-forever."

She faked a gag and I laughed. _"The two of you make me sick."_

"You're just jealous."

_ "I know. He's just so cute."_

"Erin, I love you dearly, but that's my fiancé you're talking about."

_"Alright, alright. I'll try to not notice how gorgeous he is."_

"Thank you."

_"When do you fly back home?"_

"Tomorrow morning. I'll call you when I get there, okay?"

_"Talk to you then."_

_

* * *

_

She hung up on me and I tossed my phone onto the coffee table. A tired sigh escaped me and I stood up from the couch. What a morning it had been! Luckily, things had turned out much better than they could've, with both my parents giving their approval and Erin as excited as I was. Somehow I thought she might have the entire wedding planned by the time I returned from the east coast.

Ezra had been wonderful. He'd withstood the angry tirades of my parents and still managed to be amazing afterwards. So it was with a giddy smile that I headed into the bedroom, curious as to where my lover had disappeared to.

To my disappointment he'd already showered, dressed, and was on the phone with the airline company. I settled down beside him on the bed, absent-mindedly running my hand up and down the length of his jean-clad thigh as I listened to him speak.

Ten minutes later he hung up and set the phone on the night stand.

"We now have to tickets to New York." He kissed the top of my head and settled back onto the pillows beside me.

"I was hoping you were still in the shower." I slid my hand under the t-shirt he was wearing to toy softly with the hair just below his navel.

"Why?"

I blushed and my hand stilled it's movements beneath his shirt. Meeting his gaze, I was relieved to see the amusement in his eyes and the grin that was curving on his lips. He'd been teasing me.

"I thought you were in a big hurry to pack."

"Well, I was, until Erin brought up a very good point."

"What was that?"

"You look very, very good, without your jeans on."

He laughed loudly. "Erin knows what I look like without pants on?"

With a silly smile, I realized my goof. "No. But she knows how good you look in them. Her comment just made me realize how you look out of them."

That playful smirked I'd come to love flitted across his features and I pressed myself against him.

"I was thinking since we had the time…"

He looked at me expectantly. "Yes?"

"That we could test my theory about how you look without them? You know, just to be sure I'm right?"

Ezra kissed my nose softly. "I think that can be arranged."

**A/N: So that was a RIDICOULOUS amount of fluff. I know I promised an update Monday…and it's now Friday…well almost Saturday. Real life just isn't very conducive to writing. Anyway, so this chapter…wonder how things will go with Aria's parents when everyone meets face to face? And how is Ezra's dad going to take the news when he finds out just how much younger Aria is. As always reviews are greatly appreciated and don't forget to check out the site for this story…links on my profile!**


	17. Better Pick the Right Stick

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 17**

_"Cause I don't know how it gets better than this_  
_You take my hand and drag me head first_  
_Fearless_  
_And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress_  
_Fearless"_

_~Fearless by Taylor Swift_

_

* * *

_

The forty-five minute ride from JFK International airport to Ezra's hometown was both the most exciting and most nerve-wracking car ride of my life. Ezra had never spoken much about his past, I knew his mother had passed away when he was very young and that he was raised mostly by his aunt, for she was the only family member he ever spoke in much detail about. Beyond that I knew very little about what his childhood had been like. I hoped this trip would offer a deeper level of understanding about him. The thought of meeting his father however, terrified me. From what little Ezra had told me, Jack Fitz was very militaristic in manner and had been a law professor at NYU before retiring.

As I stared at the passing countryside I couldn't help but feel that I was diving head first into uncharted territory and it frightened me. Ezra seemed genuinely happy to be going home and I was hesitant to mar that joy with my own fears. However, intuitive as he was, he picked up on my anxiety almost automatically.

"We're almost there." He cast his eyes over to me quickly before turning back to watch the road. "Aria, breathe. They're going to love you as much as I do." A gentle smile crossed his lips and he reached across the gear shift to take my hand.

"But what if they don't?" I bit my lip hesitantly and glanced over at him.

"They will." He brushed his lips across my knuckles lightly in a tender kiss before turning off the main road and onto a gravel driveway. The path was winding and long, flanked on either side by towering oak trees. The crimson of the leaves contrasted brilliantly with the blue of the sky and brown of the trees themselves. After five minutes of the never ending rows of trees I began to wonder if we were still miles from the house. And then just as if it had appeared out of nowhere, we rounded one last bend and it came into view.

Somehow, it was just as I'd imagined it'd be. Not overly large or incredibly tiny, it was nestled amongst a grove of oaks, the stone masonry of a chimney just barely visible amongst the branches. The craftsman style home had two stories, a screened in porch, and large flowerboxes in the windows. It screamed post card perfect.

"What do you think?"

"It's beautiful."

He flashed me a grin and put the car in park. "I'm glad you like it. Ready?"

I let out a nervous breath and smiled shakily. "As I'll ever be." Another deep breath and I stepped out of the car. The air was far cooler than I remembered it being when we left the airport and I tugged my jacket tighter around me to ward off the chill. Ezra came to stand beside me and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"They're going to love you, Aria. I promise."

Hand in hand we headed towards the front door, the gravel of the path crunching beneath our feet. He knocked lightly on the door before pushing it open. "Dad, Aunt Karen, we're here!" Ezra was like a little boy, smiling broadly and tugging me down the hallway.

An elderly woman emerged from a side door, an apron tied about her waist and a merry grin on her lips. "Ezra!" She laughed as he caught her up in a bear hug, her tiny body seemly dwarfed by his large frame.

I stood awkwardly by the wayside, my normally bold personality subdued by the uncertainty of the moment.

When they finally broke apart, she turned to me. "And who's this lovely young woman?"

I blushed at her praise, a smile curving on my lips as Ezra slid an arm around my waist. "Aunt Karen, I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Aria Montgomery."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." She outstretched her hand I took it gratefully.

"Ezra's told me so much about you."

She an arched an eyebrow at him quizzically. "Good things I hope?"

He smiled sheepishly and winked at her. "Of course. Where's dad?"

"Down by the lake. He said something about wanting to get a few more fishing trips in before the water froze over." She glanced over at a tall grandfather clock at the end of the hallway. "Shouldn't be too much longer though. Why don't the two of you get settled in before dinner? It'll be ready shortly."

Ezra turned to me, the same happy grin he'd been sporting since we arrived still plastered on his face. "I'll leave the two of you to get better acquainted while I get the luggage. Then I'll show you around."

I smiled at him and tucked an unruly curl back off his forehead. "I'll be here." He turned and disappeared out the front door leaving his aunt and I alone in the hallway.

"He's something isn't he?"

I turned to watch his retreating figure. "He certainly is."

She smiled winsomely as if remembering someday years ago. "Follow me; I want to show you all of his baby pictures before he gets back!" I hadn't been expecting the mischievous, playful tone from her. Somehow I knew she and I were going to get along just fine. With a small laugh I followed her into the kitchen, feeling at home already.

Ten minutes later Ezra walked into the kitchen to find Karen and I at the kitchen table, a photo album spread before us and tears of mirth in our eyes.

"That was the time when he broke his arm; he must've been about six. When I asked him how it happened he told me he'd been trying to kiss Katie, a little girl who used to live down the street. She pushed him straight out of the tree house!"

"It was an accident, Aunt Karen. She didn't mean to push me." Both of us jumped a bit at the sound of his voice; we hadn't heard him come in.

I wiped a stray tear from my cheek and smiled at him as he sat down beside me.

"No Ezra, I'm pretty sure she meant to. She didn't speak to you again after that, remember?"

He groaned. "I remember. You didn't show her-"

I cut him off and held up a baby picture of him in the bath tub. "Your naked baby pictures? Yes, she did."

I'd never seen his face so red. Karen patted him gently on the shoulder and stood up from the table. "Don't worry dear; I'm sure she finds you as adorable as I did."

I laughed and flipped to the next page of the album before turning to face him. "You were the cutest baby ever!" He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I'm glad you think so. Just remember when we go back to Rosewood I get to see _your _baby pictures." Suddenly, I wasn't in much of hurry to get back home. He chuckled at the panicked expression on my face and picked up a picture of the table.

"Do you remember this one, Aunt Karen?" He held up a picture of himself holding a first place ribbon in one hand and a pie in the other.

"Oh yes. That was the time I helped you make a strawberry pie for the county fair. You used to be quite the baker."

Ezra blushed and set the photograph back down. I broke into peals of giggles as I surveyed his boyish grin and the pie. Karen looked at me in confusion, Ezra just laughed along with me.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, Karen. It's just—Ezra fails miserably at cooking. His idea of a meal is fruit loops."

"Well the key word was _helped_ him dear—I usually didn't let him anywhere near the kitchen."

"Alright, alright. Enough bashing of my culinary skills."

Karen winked at me and turned back to the stove. Sighing softly I flipped to the next page of pictures and studied each one carefully before moving onto the next. Ezra shifted beside me, sliding an arm around my shoulders and occasionally pointing out something in the pictures.

The slam of the front door and the thud of heavy footsteps ended the tranquility of the moment and my nerves returned tenfold. Ezra slid back from the kitchen table and stood. "Sounds like Dad's home."

Suddenly the easy going nature of the room disappeared, replaced instead by an odd tension. I stood up beside Ezra, peeking warily around his shoulder at the man who would soon become my father-in-law.

Jack Fitz entered the kitchen not two seconds later, every bit the commanding presence Ezra had described him as. Tall and dark, with graying hair he was every bit an older version of Ezra.

The two men crossed the room and embraced warmly, a tender smile on the elder Fitz's face. "Ezra! It's good to have you home again."

"It's good to be home."

They released each other and Ezra turned back to me, reaching out a hand towards me.

"Dad, I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Aria."

Jack smiled broadly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Aria." Unexpectedly he reached forward and embraced me warmly.

"It's nice to meet you too, sir." I'd been thrown off guard by his friendly demeanor. Ezra had made him sound gruff and withdrawn—the complete opposite of the man in front of me.

"Dinner's ready!"

"Thank goodness, Karen. I thought I was going to die of starvation if I had to wait any longer." Ezra's father winked at me and I smiled brightly. Somehow I was sure he and I were going to get along just fine.

* * *

The meal had been a lively affair, with conversation flowing freely. The anxiety I'd been feeling all day faded as we spoke, and I found that I fit quite nicely into the Fitz family. Jack, while somewhat reserved was witty and every bit as charming as his son. Karen was the definition of a warm hostess, always laughing and a ready smile on her lips. It was interesting to see Ezra interact with his family. I'd never seen that side of him before, and the boyish qualities I loved so dearly seemed more prominent when he was with them.

When Karen rose and began to clear the dishes away I rose to help her, ignoring both her protests and Ezra's.

"Aria, you don't have to that."

"But I want to, and Karen promised to let me see your high school pictures. Any girl friends I should know about before I look at them?" I laughed as he paused and gave my question serious thought.

"Well there was Anna, and then Lucy, and—Dad, what was the name of the girl I dated junior year?

"Wasn't that the Fisher girl? I think her name was Amy."

"That's it! I went to my junior prom with Amy."

I shook my head and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for the warning. I didn't know you were such a ladies' man."

He laughed. "I wouldn't take it quite that far. Besides, none of them compare to you." A soft smile curved on his lips.

I could've kissed him for saying that, but it didn't seem appropriate in the presence of his father. Instead, I squeezed his hand lightly in response before turning and following Karen back into the kitchen.

* * *

Karen and I chatted as we did the dishes, speaking of everything from my family to some of Ezra's childhood escapades. Even after the kitchen was clean we lingered, settling at the table and laughing until tears of mirth rolled down our cheeks. As I sat there I couldn't help but wonder what I'd been so worried about. Things couldn't have been more perfect—or rather they were until the conversation took a serious tone.

"Aria, I want to thank you for giving Ezra a second chance. He was so broken the first time he left you. I haven't seen him smile like he did today in ages."

I froze at her comment, feeling like I'd just been sucker punched in the stomach. Ezra had told her about our previous relationship?

"You know about-" I trailed off and took a deep breath. "He told you about us?"

"Of course. He came here right after he left Rosewood. In all the time I've known him I've never seen him in such anguish. He was inconsolable for weeks. Nothing Jack and I said made things any easier."

As silly as it sounded I felt betrayed by the revelation that he'd told. For two years I'd shouldered the burden of keeping our first relationship a secret from everyone, hiding what we'd shared from both my family and my best friends. I'd always assumed he bore the same weight. How wrong I'd been.

"He didn't tell you, did he?"

I shook my head. "And you're okay with it?"

"Well, I can't say that I advocate relationships like that, but after seeing what you two share and seeing how much he loves you, I can't begrudge you for what happened in the past; neither can Jack."

I exhaled the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "Thank you, Karen. You have no idea how much that means to me."

She patted my hand reassuringly. "Nothing to thank me for. I only want to see him happy."

The quiet moment between the two of us dissolved as Jack came into the kitchen.

"I just wanted to tell the two of you that I'm heading up to bed. These bones are getting too old to stay up this late."

Glancing over the clock, I was surprised to see that it was nearly eleven. Had Karen and I really been talking for three hours?

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea, Jack. I think I'll turn in too." Karen rose from the kitchen table and moved towards the door. "Aria, I made up the guest room for you. It's the first door on the right upstairs.."

I tried to mask my surprise. It hadn't occurred to me that Ezra and I would be staying in separate rooms. "Thank you, Karen."

"You're welcome, dear. Good night." She disappeared out into the hallway, leaving Jack and I alone in the kitchen.

"I'm glad you decided to come visit us, Aria."

"Me too, sir."

He smiled warmly. "'Ezra's in the living room. I'll see you in the morning."

My lips curved into a gentle smile. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Aria." He left the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

I lingered at the table after he left; trying to come to terms with what Karen had told me. In many ways I resented Ezra for telling his family, even if they were accepting of our former relationship. It just didn't seem fair that I'd fought so hard to keep it inside, when he'd revealed everything so easily. With a heavy sigh I left the kitchen, turning off the light as I went. Regardless of how I felt about the situation, I needed to hear Ezra's side of things.

The sight that greeted me as I entered the living room almost made me want to forget my jumbled emotions entirely. Ezra lay on the couch, nose buried in a book and a smile playing on his lips. Watching him read was one of the most fascinating things in the world; emotions flashing across his face and relaxation radiating from every pore in his body.

"Hey." I kept my voice low, trying to preserve the quiet serenity of the moment.

He sat up quickly and set the book aside. "I was beginning to wonder if Dad or Aunt Karen had scared you away. I feel like I haven't seen you in hours."

I laughed softly. "You haven't." Sighing gently, I curled up on the couch next to him, my head nestling in the crook of his neck. "Karen and I spent the last four hours talking in the kitchen. I didn't realize how long we'd been there until your Dad came in to say goodnight."

He wrapped an arm around me and pressed me to his side. "What did you talk about?"

"You mostly. I never would've pegged you for the mischievous type. According to Karen you were quite the prankster when you were little."

"Yeah," he chuckled as if remembering some incident years ago, "I guess I was." He settled back onto the couch, reclining against the cushions and drawing my legs over his lap. "Dad's already in love with you. He couldn't stop talking about you this evening."

"Really?"

"Mhmm." His fingers absently played with a lock of my hair, a small smile on his lips. "I think he's planning on kidnapping you for a few hours tomorrow so that he can get to know you more."

"I don't mind. I'd like to know more about him too." I paused and kissed his chin softly. " I'm staying in the guest room." I glanced up at his face in an attempt to gauge his reaction.

With a frown and a heavy sigh he interlaced his fingers with mine. "I know. Sleeping's going to be impossible." We lapsed into silence, both of us enjoying the nearness of the other. My fingertips traced light circles on his palm while he rested his chin on top of my head, pressing kisses to my temple every so often.

"Your aunt also told me that she knew about us—before I mean." He tensed beneath me and he shifted so that he was sitting upright. "I'm not angry. I just wish you'd told me. I've been trying so hard for two years to keep everything inside and…" I pulled away from his embrace to look at him.

"I—I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. It didn't really cross my mind. They've always been so accepting of the whole idea. I never considered that you hadn't told anyone."

"I guess it just doesn't seem fair. I've carried it around like some kind of guilty secret and you've…" I trailed off as I struggled to find the right words.

"Is that what it was to you, a guilty secret?" He seemed frustrated now and I regretted even bringing the subject up.

"No, not at all. I just meant that my silence was burden I had to bear."

"So now it's a burden?" His voice was raised slightly and I moved to stand up.

"Ezra, you know that's not what I-"

"That's what it sounds like."

"I was only trying to say that I wish I'd known."

"I see."

How I hated those two words. Every time we argued, that little phrase, _I see, _meant he was done with the conversation.

"Don't be like this."

"Be like what, Aria?" He ran a hand roughly through his hair and stood up.

I shook my head. "Never mind. I'm sorry for even bringing it up." Turning on my heel I headed out of the room and up the stairs, leaving him staring after me.

* * *

Sleep didn't come easy that night. Two hours later I was still awake, a pillow clutched tightly to my chest in an effort to ignore the emptiness that was usually filled with Ezra. My tangled mess of emotions and thoughts weren't helping either. I felt like such an idiot for ruining things. He'd been so happy about being back and I'd marred that joy.

I glanced over at the little clock on the nightstand: 1:34 a.m.. Scratch that-I'd been in bed for more than two hours now. Outside my room a floorboard creaked and I tensed.

Clutching the sheets tightly to my chest, I sat up in bed. The door inched slowly open, and a shadowed figure stepped into the bedroom.

"Aria, are you awake?" The whispered words sent a wave of relief through me; it was only Ezra.

"Yeah."

He shut the door quietly behind him and walked over to the bed. "I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither." I felt his weight settle next to me on the bed and I rolled so that I lay against him. "This bed just feels so empty without you in it."

"Same here. Aria, I'm sorry for overreacting. You're right—I should've told you."

"I'm sorry to. I didn't mean to ruin this evening."

He cupped my face tenderly in his hands. "You didn't ruin anything. Tonight was perfect." My lips met his softly; both of us glad to have settled things. "Here, put these. I want to show you something."

I reached for the bundle he handed me, finding an old sweatshirt and a scarf inside. He got off the bed and I followed suit.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

I slid the sweatshirt over my head and wrapped the scarf around my neck. I looked ridiculous with my flannel pajama bottoms, a too large sweatshirt, and a scarf bundled tightly around my neck. After toeing on my converses I followed Ezra out into the hallway and tiptoed quietly behind, doing my best to avoid the creaky floorboards.

The chilly night air assaulted me as we stepped out onto the porch and I found myself taking Ezra's hand just to have the little bit of extra warmth. The moon was full and it wasn't nearly as dark outside as I'd been expecting it to be. He led me across the yard, winding through various trees until we came to one near the back of the house. Dropping my hand, he switched on the flashlight he'd been holding and shone it up into the tree.

Up above us, sheltered by large branches, was a tree house. "That's where we're going. It was my hideout when I was little and my reading sanctuary when I got older."

I smiled at him. "You had a tree house?"

He laughed at my silly question and nodded. "I had a tree house. Actually it's a tree fort. When Dad built it he said that tree houses were for girls—forts were for men. Come on."

He clamored up the ladder with me close on his heels. The tree house was the one of the largest I'd ever seen. With three windows and bookshelves built into the walls, it was definitely better than the one I'd had as a child.

"Hold on just a second." Ezra turned away from me to fiddle with something overhead. "And then there was light!"

I giggled as he pointed triumphantly at a light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

"Dad wired it up when I began staying up here late night." He turned the flash light off and set it aside. "What do you think?"

My eyes traveled over the room, from the bookshelf on one wall to the small window seat on the other. "I'm jealous. My tree house was nothing compared to this one." A small box on the floor caught my eye. "What's this?"

I picked up a metal box off the floor and settled down on the window seat.

He sat down beside me. "That's just full of random things. Rocks, odd scraps of paper, comic strips. I'd forgotten it was up here."

I pried the lid off carefully, laughing when I discovered exactly what he'd described inside: the treasures of his boyhood. I leafed through everything, fascinated by the little things for they'd all been important to him at some point. Occasionally I'd hold something up and he'd tell me the story behind it. Some were amusing; others were quite grim—like the newspaper clipping from his mother's obituary.

"What was she like?" I spoke quietly, unsure if I should broach the topic.

He took the paper from me and stared at it quietly for a moment. "I don't really remember much about her. She was always laughing—that's what I remember most, her laughter. And she loved to bake; almost every memory I have of her is in the kitchen." He placed the paper back in the box and removed it from my lap.

"Aria, I didn't just bring you up here to show you a box of rocks." He laughed uneasily and I wondered what he was about to say. "Dad gave me something this evening and I want you to have it."

He fished into the pocket of his jacket for a moment before drawing something out. There, in the palm of his hand was a diamond ring, large but not overly gaudy, with a gold band and a set of sapphires flanking the center stone. "This was my mother's."

"Ezra-"

He held up a hand. "Let me finish before I lose the nerve." Smiling softly, he slid off the bench and kneeled before me, ring held aloft between two fingers. "I don't know why I'm nervous—I already know what the answer's going to be." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Aria Montgomery, I love you more than anything else in this world and I know we've had our ups and downs, but I can't imagine a life without you. Will you marry me?"

I nearly laughed at the expectant look on his face—nearly. "Yes, of course I will!"

He grinned broadly and slipped the ring onto my left hand before pulling me into his arms. "I love you, Mrs. Fitz."

"I love you, too. Mr. Fitz." I kissed him soundly, my arms winding around his neck and drawing him closer.

How long we stayed like that I'll never know, but when we finally broke apart both of us were panting heavily.

"It's getting cold."

"Mmm." I kissed him again.

"Maybe we should head back in? And I feel like breaking the rules a little bit—you're coming to bed with me."

I grinned at him. "Good. I'll never sleep otherwise."

We moved apart and he picked up the flashlight again. "Ready?" I nodded and watched him disappear down the ladder. I followed just minutes later.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later I lay cuddled beneath the blankets with him, my head on his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"When do you want to get married?"

I glanced down at my ring and fiddled with it, twisting the gold band around my finger. "I don't know, I hadn't really thought of it. I've always wanted a summer wedding though. That way we'd both be out of school for a few months and would have time to take a honeymoon."

"A summer wedding it is. Any ideas for a honeymoon?"

I sighed thoughtfully and shifted to face him. "It doesn't matter, so long as I'm with you. Besides," I pressed a warms kiss to his shoulder before continuing, "It's not like we'll really be leaving the hotel room."

Smiling mischievously, he flipped us over, rolling my body beneath his. "Oh yeah?"

"You know I'm right."

"Mmmm, probably." His hands slipped beneath the material of my t-shirt, running slowly up my torso. I caught his hands just as they came up to cup my breasts.

"Ezra." His name was both a whisper of longing and a quiet sigh of regret. "We can't."

He shook his head and kissed my neck softly. "We can."

I pushed him off of my gently and kissed him tenderly in apology. "It's not that I don't want to, but it's really late, and your dad is just down the hall."

"Way to kill the mood."

I giggled at his sarcasm. "I'm sorry, but I promise to make it up to you."

He nuzzled my neck softly and pressed a heated kiss just below my ear. "I'll hold you to that."

I settled back against him, my eyes growing heavy as the day finally began to catch up with me. "I love you."

"I love you , too, Aria."

* * *

I woke a little after six, stifled by Ezra's body heat. With a quite groan I wriggled out from beneath the heavy weight of his arm over my waist. I wasn't sure if it was the heat or the lack of sleep, but the moment I stood up from the bed, dizziness overwhelmed me and my stomach lurched.

The cool floorboards felt wonderful on my bare feet, but even that didn't stop the uneasiness in my stomach. Stumbling in the dark, I made my way out into the hall, and into the bathroom. My stomach rolled again and I found myself rushing to the toilet before I heaved up all of last night's dinner.

Five minutes later my retching had turned to dry heaves and I filled a cup with water and rinsed my mouth out. My head was pounding and I felt clammy all over. I hadn't felt this badly in years. After a few more moments of sitting in the bathroom I felt well enough to make my way back to bed.

I nearly screamed when I opened the bathroom door and almost collided with Jack.

"I'm sorry, Aria. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's alright. You just startled me."

"I heard you getting sick—are you okay?"

"I think I'll be fine. I guess the excitement of the trip is just catching up with me."

He nodded and looked at me appraisingly. "If you don't mind me asking, when are you due?"

I nearly choked. "Due? Sir, I'm not pregnant."

"Oh, I think you are." He smiled gently at me. "I've known since you arrived. Helen was the same way when she was carrying Ezra, the flushed cheeks and radiant countenance."

"Sir, I promise you I'm not."

He chuckled quietly and I knew he didn't believe me.

"Whatever you say, Aria. I was just going downstairs to make some coffee, do you want any?"

"No thank you. I think I'm going to go back to bed for a few hours."

"Alright then. Sleep well, Aria." He smiled once more and disappeared down the stairs.

* * *

I trudged slowly to the guest bedroom, feeling too sick to climb back into the bed with Ezra. The cool sheets felt wonderful on my overheated skin and it wasn't long after that that my stomach settled and my headache faded.

Jack's words were still rolling around in my head, taunting me with their seriousness. Slowly, my right hand drifted beneath the blankets and came to rest on my lower abdomen. Could I really be pregnant?

* * *

Sometime later, I awoke to the creaking of a floorboard, and the click of the doorknob as it turned. Just as he had last night, Ezra stepped in a worried look on his face.

"Hey. I'm sorry if I woke you."

I stretched my hand out to him from where I lay on the bed. "You didn't wake me." He sank down onto the mattress beside me and brushed a lock of hair back from my forehead.

"Dad told me you were sick this morning."

I froze at his statement. Had Jack told him why he thought I was sick?

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"Ezra, I was fine. The trip just caught up with me."

Doubt flitted across his features but then he smiled and seemed to relax.

"Do you feel any better?"

Like a cat, I arched my back and stretched. "Much."

Laughing, he leaned down and pecked my nose. "Good, Karen has bacon and eggs waiting downstairs if you're hungry."

Suddenly, I wasn't feeling so hot. The thought of greasy, salty, or fried anything made my stomach churn. "You know I don't think my stomach can handle that yet. Maybe just some toast?"

"Toast it is." He stood up from the bed and moved towards the door. "I'll see you downstairs in a few minutes?"

I nodded. Just before he closed the door, I spoke. "Ezra?"

He turned back to face me. "Hmm?"

"I love you."

A boyish smile curved on his lips. "I love you, too." With that he was gone, the door closing quietly behind him.

I slid from the bed and headed towards the attached bathroom. As I crossed my room, a full length mirror hanging on the wall caught my eye. Pausing in front of it, I lifted my shirt to just below my bust and placed a hand lightly across my flat stomach. I gasped. Sure enough, there was the tiniest, most miniscule hint of a bump. Had I not been feeling for it directly I probably would have missed it. Oh boy.

Hand trembling, I jerked it away from my tummy as if I'd been burned. Holy crap! That most definitely had not been there a few weeks ago. Could Jack be right? Was I really pregnant? As the question crossed my mind for the second time that morning, motherhood began to seem more and more plausible. I tried to count backwards on one hand to figure out when my last period had been, but with the chaos of my accident and then everything with Ezra and the girls, I couldn't really remember.

He and I had always used protection. I'd been on the pill long before we'd gotten together—there shouldn't be any chance of pregnancy. Yet, there just below my belly button was evidence enough that there was probably a baby growing inside of me.

A knock at the door startled me and Ezra poked his head in. I dropped the hem of my shirt, blushing as if he'd caught me in some kind guilty act.

"It's been almost twenty minutes. I was getting worried about you."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm sorry. I just lost track of time."

He stepped into the room and came to stand before me. "What were you doing?"

I forced a laugh and scrambled to find a believable answer. "Trying to decide if I'm getting fat or not. " I turned back towards the mirror. "What do you think?"

His laughter was shocked and he turned me back towards him. "You're most definitely not fat. What even gave you that idea?"

"I don't know. I was just wondering."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You're crazy."

Any response I had was silenced as his lips met mine. In that kiss I found relief—I'd managed to avoid telling him about my suspicions. I knew he needed to know, but I wanted to sort things out for myself before I told him.

Ezra pulled away gently and I mourned the loss of contact. "Ready for that toast now?"

I nodded and followed him out the door.

* * *

Later that morning, Ezra and I sat in the kitchen playing cards, while Karen baked a cake.

"Darn it!"

Karen's exclamation startled the two of us and we looked up worriedly from our game.

"What is it Aunt Karen?"

"Nothing, Ezra. I forgot to buy eggs when I used all the eggs when I made breakfast this morning. I can't make the cake without them. I guess I'll run up to the store."

"Aria and I can go."

"You don't have to do that, dear."

"I really don't mind, and I'm sure Aria doesn't either." He glanced over at me expectantly.

"I don't mind at all."

"Alright, well if you insist."

Ezra stood from the kitchen table. "I insist."

Karen laughed. "Okay."

* * *

Ten minutes later Ezra and I pulled into the small town of Bridge Gate, New York. Nearly half the size of Rosewood, it had just one grocery store and almost all of the other stores were on Main Street.

"Ezra, do you think we could stop at that drug store up ahead?"

He took his eyes off the road and glanced over at me. "Sure," then, almost as an afterthought, "why?"He pulled into the parking lot of the pharmacy and parked the car. I still hadn't answered his question and he shifted to face me. "Aria?"

Taking a deep breath I glanced over at him. "I need to get a pregnancy test."

For a few seconds it was if what I'd just said didn't register. He stared at me in confusion, brow furrowed and mouth set in a tight line. "You mean—you're pregnant?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

He let out a trembling sigh and nodded. "Alright. Let's go get one."

Hand in hand we headed into the store, both of our palms sweating.

I paused in front of the display. Did there really need to be so many different types? There were pink boxes and blue boxes, purple boxes and green boxes.

Ezra glanced over at me expectantly. "Well, are you going to choose one?"

Irritated at his impatience, I glared at him. "It's not that easy! I don't know anything about these things. If this little stick is going to affect our future in a very significant way, I want it to be the right stick!"

He backed off and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. This whole thing is just really scaring me."

I sighed and took his hand again. "Yeah, me too."

Finally after staring at the tests for five minutes, I picked out one of the pink boxes. "Alright, I'm ready. Let's get the eggs."

* * *

When we made it back to the house a quarter of an hour later, Ezra headed to the kitchen to give the eggs to Karen while I raced upstairs to the bathroom. I read the instructions three times before opening the box with shaking hands. It amazed me that such a little piece of plastic could have such drastic implications. I took a deep breath, though it did little to calm my nerves, before settling on the toilet to take the test.

Two minutes later, I set it on the edge of the sink and washed my hands: 11:43. Now all that was left to do was wait. I opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the guest room to wait for Ezra. He walked in not two seconds letter an anxious look on his face. "Well?"

I shook my head. "I don't know yet, we have to wait five minutes."

Those were the longest five minutes of my life and I'm sure that Ezra felt the same way. When the clock finally reached 11:48 I bolted to the bathroom, leaving Ezra standing in the bedroom.

Less than thirty seconds later I emerged, clutching the test tightly in my hand. "There are two lines."

"What the hell does that mean?"

I flinched at his harsh tone and he instantly softened.

"It means I'm pregnant."

"Holy crap." He sat down on the edge of the bed and cradled his head in his hands. I set the test on the nightstand and sank down beside him.

"Yeah."

"We're going to be parents."

'Yeah."

My responses were lame, but given the circumstances I was hard pressed to find words. He didn't speak after that and the two of us sat together on the bed, staring at the wall before us. Our lives had just changed forever.

* * *

**A/N: This is by far the longest chapter ever! It is also my favorite so far. Our lovebirds don't seem to be too overjoyed with this pregnancy thing, do they? It seems like they've hit a MAJOR bump in the road. And what are Aria's parents going to say when they find out? Just last chapter she was reassuring them that there was no chance she was pregnant. As always, I love reviews. Check out the website for this story (link on my profile) and for new updates follow me on my twitter: isburke**


	18. What Are We Supposed To Do With A Baby?

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 18**

_After all, we're only human__  
__Always fighting what we're feeling__  
__Hurt instead of healing__  
__After all we're only human__  
__Is there any other reason__  
__Why we stay instead of leaving__  
__After all_

_~Human by Jon McLaughlin_

I'm not really certain how long Ezra and I sat together on the bed, numb and in shock. When we finally did move, it was in silence. He left the room without a word and I lay back on the bed, my hands settling gently over my stomach. I didn't begrudge him for walking out as he had; a baby was certainly a lot to take in. Hell, I'd known hours before he had and I still hadn't come to terms with it.

And I was fairly sure that it would be _days_ before I came to terms with it. In my life plan a baby at eighteen had never figured in, but then again, neither had marriage. Yet, here I was engaged and pregnant within days of each other.

Sighing softly, I slid my hands beneath the soft material of my t-shirt, letting my palms flatten against the small bump just below my navel. A baby-inside of me. There was a baby inside of me. I'd never been so frightened in my life, even the horrors of "A" were nothing compared to this. I knew nothing about being a mother. Even as independent as I was there were still times when I craved the comforting embrace of my mother and the soothing words she offered. Would I be able to do the same for my son?

With a gasp I realized that that was the first time I'd thought of the baby as something other than an it. My son. Ezra's son. Our son. If it was in fact a little boy, I hoped it resembled Ezra, with dark chestnut curls and stormy grey eyes. If it wasn't, and there was a little girl growing in me, I still wanted her to have his eyes and his curls. I let my hand rub in small circles over my womb, still trying to comprehend the life taking shape within the warm protection of my body.

Suddenly, it didn't matter if it was a boy or girl, if I was eighteen and still in college. I loved this child. Tears welled in my eyes and a small smile curved on my lips. I loved our child, so completely and so fully; that every other emotion I'd ever had paled in comparison. In that moment I knew that no matter what, no matter what my parents said, no matter how Ezra felt, no matter how much this changed my life, it would all be worth it.

With that thought in mind, I rose from the bed and made my way downstairs, eager to talk to Ezra. I was disappointed when Karen told me that he'd gone for a drive about fifteen minutes before, with a promise to be back by dinner. Glancing at the clock, I realized dinner was a long way off; it was only a quarter after one. Feeling somewhat dejected, I sank down onto a stool at the island in the kitchen and accepted a ham sandwich from Karen.

"It's not my place to pry dear, but Ezra seemed upset when he left. Did the two of you get into an argument?"

I took a sip of coke before answering. "Not exactly."

She turned away from the stove and arched an eyebrow at me. I debated whether or not to tell her, but somehow I felt that the news should come from Ezra. So I opted for the next best thing. "My dad's not exactly on board with this whole engagement thing. He thinks it's too soon, that I'm too young. Ezra's just having a hard time accepting how my father feels."

"What about you? Do you think it's too soon?"

Her question caught me off guard and I nearly choked on the bit of sandwich I'd been chewing.

"Maybe, but Ezra and I, well we've never been the types to do things the conventional way. Slow isn't in our vocabulary either."

Karen smiled and turned back to stir the pot on the stove. "I have a feeling your father will come around. I remember when I got engaged. I was young like you, although getting married at eighteen wasn't nearly as uncommon in those days. Anyway, my father was furious. Dean was a soldier you see, and had just been drafted for Vietnam." She turned off the burner and wiped her hands on her apron, before coming to sit beside me at the island. "He eventually came to accept though. And I wouldn't have changed my decision even if he hadn't approved. I loved Dean so much…"

She trailed off and sighed heavily. "It's been nearly fifteen years since he passed away, but my love for him is just as strong as it was the day we married." Her hand found mine and she squeezed it tenderly. "I guess what I'm trying to tell you is do what feels right, and don't let anyone tell you different. You may be young, but you're wise beyond your years."

I managed a watery smile. Damn hormones. "Thank you."

"Anytime, dear. Now, would you like to help me bake this cake?"

I slid off the stool. "I'd love to."

True to his word, Ezra showed up just in time for dinner, Jack following closely behind him. I was in the kitchen with Karen when they arrived, spooning mashed potatoes into a serving bowl. I paused when Ezra entered the kitchen, a warm smile curving on my lips when his gaze met mine.

"Dad's waiting in the dining room."

Karen nodded and picked up the platter of pork tenderloin. "Well everything's ready, if Aria ever finishes filling the bowl that is."

I blushed and realized I'd been staring at Ezra the entire time. "Sorry."

Karen just laughed and shook her head. "Just bring them when you finish. We'll wait for the two of you." She headed out of the kitchen, leaving Ezra and I staring at each other over the counter.

"I'm sorry."

I set the spoon down and glanced up at him in confusion. "For what?"

"Leaving like I did earlier—not one of my finest moments. Forgive me?" He smiled sheepishly and I felt a pang of guilt as I realized he'd been beating himself up over it for awhile.

I gave a little laugh and moved to stand in front of him. "There's nothing to forgive. I'm not mad at you. Besides, we both needed time to think about everything." Standing on tiptoe, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him softly. I felt him relax at my words and he gave a soft sigh.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

I giggled and broke away from his embrace. "I know. Now let's go before dinner gets cold." There was still much that needed to be said, but it was neither the right time nor place.

"I love you, Aria." He caught my lips again briefly.

"I love you too, Ezra."

Both of us smiling softly, I picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes and followed him out into the dining room.

Later that night, I sat out on the screened in porch, body swathed in a heavy blanket, knees drawn up to my chest, and mug of hot chocolate cradled in my hands. Karen had gone to bed earlier, complaining of a headache. Ezra and Jack were in the living room the last time I'd checked, their attention glued to the football game on the television screen.

I licked a bit of whipped cream off the rim of the mug and smiled at the taste of it. Some things never got old.

"What are you smiling about?"

Ezra's voice startled me and I just barely managed to save myself from dumping hot chocolate all over my lap.

"Whipped cream."

He laughed and sat down beside me on the bench. "And here I was hoping you were thinking about me."

I leant up and kissed his cheek. "I'm always thinking about you."

He nodded and bit his lip uncertainly.

My stomach sank. This was _the _conversation.

"I think we need to talk."

"Yeah." I set my mug down and readjusted the blanket so that we were both covered. "We do."

His arm wrapped around my shoulder and drew me close. "I—I'm not even really sure where to begin." Beneath the blanket, his free hand caught mine and he interlaced our fingers tightly. "How do you feel?"

"If we're talking physically, I feel fine. Mentally, not so much." I settled my head on his shoulder and took a deep breath. "Mostly, I'm just scared. I don't know anything about being a mother. But at the same time, I love our child-isn't that crazy? There's this little human being inside of me and it's part you and part me."

I glanced up at him and was surprised that his expression mirrored mine. He was terrified too. "Crazy's a good way to describe it. I mean—I've never really thought about children, at least not until this afternoon."

"Well," I brought our intertwined hands to my lips brushed them across his knuckles softly, "how do you feel?"

He gave a harsh laugh and pressed his lips against my temple. "Frightened, and to be honest, the more I think about it, the more excited I am."

"So you're not upset?"

He pulled away and gazed down at me in shock. "Is that what you thought?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know. I was just so confused at first, and then you left. I wasn't really sure what to think."

"I never meant to make you worry."

I sighed and shook my head. "It's alright. I'm just glad you're happy about this. I'm not sure what I'd do if you weren't or if you didn't want this baby." My voice caught and I swallowed thickly.

His large hands came up to cup my face and he kissed me sweetly. "Hey now, there's nothing that would ever change how I feel about you or how I feel about this baby. I know it's not what we had in mind and it's not exactly the best timing, but we'll make it work."

I sniffled. "God, I hate being so emotional."

He grinned at me.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being the most amazing man ever." I kissed him tenderly, catching his lower lip between mine and sucking softly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well, you'll don't have to worry about that. You're never getting rid of me."

He kissed me again and wrapped me warmly in his embrace. "We're going to be parents."

"Yeah. I still can't wrap my head around it."

"Can you feel it? I mean I know you can't feel it move or anything, but-"

I took his hand and drew it beneath my t-shirt. "Do you feel that?" Pressing softly, I let his fingertips rest just below my navel.

"Wow. I don't-" His voice grew hoarse and I looked up at him in surprise. His eyes were glassy in the moonlight and I smiled softly.

"Oh no you don't. Only one of us get's to be emotional, and seeing as how I'm the pregnant one with the crazy hormones, I get to be that person."

He laughed then and settled his palm more firmly against my stomach. "If you say so."

"I say so." My head dropped back onto his shoulder and his arm tightened around me in response. "We should go to bed. My flight leaves really early tomorrow." I grimaced at the thought of leaving him, but I'd promised my parents I'd be home the day before thanksgiving.

"Don't remind me. I miss you already."

"I know, but it's only for two days."

He kissed my forehead. "That is entirely too long to go without seeing you." A yawn escaped me and he shook his head. "Bedtime it is." Standing up, he gathered up the blanket and my empty mug before reaching out a hand and pulling me up beside him.

Twenty minutes later we lay curled around one another, our hands nestled protectively over my tiny baby bump. "I love you, Aria Montgomery."

I squeezed his hand tightly in response. "I love you too, Ezra Fitz."

**A/N: So not nearly as long as last chapter…but chapter 17 was some kind of freak of nature (I still can't get over the fact that it was nearly 7000 words.). Anyway, I know a lot of you expressed distaste at the idea of a baby, but I'm going to make this work. I can make two promises though. First, there's not going to be any kind of cliché, they live happily ever after, unrealistic moments. Second, there's still a lot coming up…this baby is just the first of their hurdles. Love you all and if you haven't already, follow me on twitter isburke. **


	19. The Homecoming

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 19**

_I can see it your eyes you're hurting__  
__But pain is part of learning who you are__  
__All these truths can sometimes be deceiving__  
__When your whole world comes crashing to the ground__  
__Tell me everything you need now anything at all__  
__And I will be the one who's waiting anytime you fall__  
__Yeah, When you come undone__  
__When you come undone_

_~Undone by Lifehouse_

I was fairly certain that there was nothing better on the planet than waking up wrapped snuggly in Ezra's embrace. And on mornings when I knew we'd have to leave each other, even if only for a short while, the feeling was all the more sweeter. Dawn was just breaking outside, the stars of night fading into the sky as it lightened and changed color with the rising sun. My flight was scheduled to leave at ten and I knew we'd both have to get moving soon if we wanted to make it to the airport on time. But for the moment being, I intended on making the most of what little time we had left.

Just as I was about to roll over and wake Ezra up, I felt his lips press hotly against my bare shoulder, his fingers sliding the strap of my tank top down onto my arm.

"Morning."

I smiled lazily and arched into his touch. "Morning." His hands slipped beneath the fabric of my shirt, tracing lightly over my abdomen before trailing up and over my chest. I caught his hands within my own and kissed his fingertips softly. "I don't want to go." Turning to face him, I placed a gently kiss just above his heart.

"I don't want you to go either." He nuzzled my neck softly, pausing to suck lightly just above my collar bone.

"Ezra." His name was both a breathy moan and a regretful sigh on my lips.

He drew back with a forlorn smile. "I know." Then, a wicked smirk curved across his lips. "What if we're really, really quiet?"

I giggled and shoved him onto his back, rolling him beneath me so that I was straddling his lower stomach. "Yeah, right. I'm sure that'll work real well."

His hand slipped just under the hem of the shorts I was wearing, fingertips tracing searing circles on the skin of my lower thigh. "You'll never know until we try."

I arched an eyebrow at him and leant down for a kiss, my hair creating a curtain around our faces and blocking out the growing light of the morning sun. My hands gripped his shoulders tightly as our kiss grew more intense and his hands settled in a vice-like grip on my hips.

"Aria." He groaned and flipped us over so that I lay cradled beneath him. His lips trailed hotly down my jaw line, over my throat, and settled teasingly on the swell of flesh peeking from the neckline of my tank top. My free hand fisted in his hair, dragging his mouth back to mine. I was pretty sure I'd never get sick of kissing him.

Breathing ragged, I pulled away and lay back on the pillows, a self satisfied grin on my lips. Ezra nipped tenderly at my earlobe and whispered a teasing "what?"

A breathy giggle escaped me and I shook my head. "Nothing."

He quirked an eyebrow at me and nuzzled my ear again. "Come on, what is it?"

I bit my lip hesitantly before a grin broke across my lips. "I was just thinking about how much I love-"

Ezra silenced me abruptly, covering my mouth with one hand and holding a silencing finger to his lips with the other. My eyes widened as a floor board creaked out in the hallway and someone knocked on the door.

"Ezra?"

It was Jack.

"Yeah, dad?"

"Good, I was making sure you were up. I knocked on Aria's door earlier but there was no answer. You probably need to go in there and make sure she's awake. The two of you will have to leave for the airport soon."

Beneath Ezra, my stomach clenched in an effort to remain silent as I laughed.

"I'll be out in just a few minutes, Dad."

"Alright. I'll see you downstairs."

We remained like that for a few more seconds, he keeping his hand firmly over my mouth and I trying my very best not to give us away. Finally, Ezra drew his hand away and the two of us collapsed into laughter, his forehead dropping down onto mine. "That was close."

"I'll say."

In some way I was grateful for Jack's interruption; just a few minutes longer and Ezra and I would've been doing a lot more than kissing. He rolled back onto his side of the bed and took my hand. "Now, what were you saying before?"

"I was thinking about how much I love kissing you." My quip drew another chuckle from him and I grinned brightly. "And now I should get going. The last thing we need is your Dad coming back up to check on you."

He groaned, although this time the sound had a decidedly less arousing tone this time around. "You're right."

I kissed him quickly on the lips before sliding out of bed. "See you downstairs in half an hour?"

He drew me down for another kiss before replying. "Mhmm."

We shared a final parting smile, mine apologetic and his sad. "Aria?"

I paused in the open doorway and turned to face him "Yeah?"

"I miss you already."

Even after hearing those same words from him for months, I still had the urge to melt every time he said them. Cheeks flushed, I flashed him a shy smile and slipped out the door.

* * *

Two hours later we stood outside of JFK airport, caught up in our own private world, and ignorant of the throngs of people passing us by.

"I wish you didn't have to go." He brushed my cheek softly with the back of his hand.

I caught it within my own and pressed a kiss to his palm. "I know, but it's only two days."

"Ah, but two days is an eternity."

I smirked and slipped my arms around his waist. "Poetic."

He nodded and laughed.

"I should go. They'll be boarding soon."

He sighed, his mouth set in a grim line of acknowledgement. "Alright. Do you have everything?"

"I think so, well except for one thing."

"What?"

A coy smile flitted across my face and I dropped my carryon bag on the ground beside us. "This." I caught his lips softly, kissing him sweetly. "There, now I'm ready."I dropped back down onto the balls of my feet. "I'll call you tonight."

"Okay." He smiled softly and kissed me again. "I love you. Have a safe flight."

"I love you, too. Goodbye, Ezra." And with that I picked up my luggage, and headed through the automatic doors, leaving Ezra standing on the sidewalk behind me.

* * *

Going back to Rosewood was sort of surreal. Oddly, the place I'd called home for most of my life didn't feel like home anymore. As I drove down Main Street, past The Grille and Ezra's old apartment building, I realized that very little had changed in the months since my departure. Rosewood was the same as it always had been. Closed off and idealistic at first glance, it's cherry tree lined streets and picturesque storefronts served as little more than facades for the deeper secrets the town kept guarded.

It was then as I pulled into the driveway of my mother's house that I realized that while Rosewood was the much the same as I had left it, I was not. Maybe it was the surprise of my pregnancy, or maybe it was simply the gradual transition from adolescence into adulthood, but it would be impossible to say that I was the same girl who had flown halfway across the country five months prior.

I sat in the rental car for a few moments, staring at the house I'd grown up in. Things hadn't really ever been the same after my parents had split, and the house became a hollow shell of what it'd once been. Regardless, there was still some comfort in its familiarity, the flowerboxes on the porch, the welcome mat, and the well worn stairs.

Unconsciously, I twisted the ring on my finger and settled a hand over my stomach. I missed Ezra already. Sighing heavily, I gave myself a mental pep talk. It was just two days. I could handle that short amount of time, couldn't I? At least I was fairly certain I could, so long as I didn't let news of the baby slip. The last thing I needed was Ezra showing up on Friday and walking into a warzone.

I unlocked the car door and shouldered my purse. Here went nothing. I climbed the steps slowly and paused just outside the door to take a deep breath before swinging it open.

"Mom? I'm home!"

My mother fairly flew out of the living room and tackled me in her excitement. She clung to me for a few moments, and I felt a few tears splash onto my jacket. "Aww Mom, don't cry."

She sniffled before pulling back to smile at me. "Don't be silly, I'm not crying. I'm just so glad to have you home. I've missed you, Aria."

I smiled warmly. "I've missed you too, Mom. Where's Mike?"

"Right here, sis." I'd never thought I'd say I missed my brother, but seeing him come bounding down the steps, a ready grin on his lips, made my heart swell.

He stood before me, staring awkwardly as if he wasn't sure whether to hug me or not. "Come here, you!"

I hugged him tightly and ruffled his hair a bit. "I've missed you."

"Yeah, don't know if I can say the same here."

"Mike!"

He grinned. "I'm kidding, Mom. I've missed you too, Aria. So where's this guy you're supposed to be bringing home?"

I smiled. "He's flying in on Friday."

"Cool. Well listen, I've got to go to practice but I'll see you tonight?"

"Alright, see you tonight." He snagged the car keys off the hook by the door and headed out the front door. "When did he get his license?"

"September. It's crazy isn't it? He's driving all over town now, and you're off at college and getting married."

"Yeah, I'd say so."

"So are you hungry? I made some of your favorite brownies. I thought we could eat a few before Mike gets back from practice, otherwise he and his friends will eat them all."

I linked my arm through hers. "Sounds great, Mom."

* * *

Half an hour later, Mom and I sat in the living room, looking at a few bridal magazines she'd picked up. The woman who I'd spoken to on the phone just a few days ago, the woman who'd threatened to physically maim Ezra, was gone. In her place was a giddy, overjoyed mother-in-law to be.

"What do you think of this dress, sweetheart?"

I glanced up from the pictures of flower arrangements I'd been flipping through. "I don't know, Mom. Don't you think it's a bit over the top?"

She studied the Cinderella style dress for a few moments. "I guess you're right. Well do you have something in mind already? You've rejected nearly everything I've shown you."

I scanned the coffee table for a certain magazine. "Actually Mom, I really liked a dress in this one." Picking it up, I scanned through the pages until I found what I was looking for. "Here it is! It's simple and elegant, traditional but still me. What do you think?"

I held up the page for her to see.

"That's beautiful, Aria."

I smiled. "Yeah. I like the vintage look of the lace and the v-neck. I don't want to go strapless."

"No strapless it is." She placed the open magazine back down onto the coffee table, making sure to mark the page.

Outside a car door slammed and we both turned to look out the window. "Sounds like Mike's home." A few minutes later, Mike came in, sweaty and covered in grass stains.

"Good practice?"

He dropped his lacrosse bag by the couch. "Yeah."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but was silenced as someone came in behind Mike.

"Hello, Aria."

The voice sent chills up my spine and I paled. Holy shit.

**A/N: Wonder who Mike brought home? And I never do cliff hangers, so I don't want to hear any complaints—I'll update soon too, so you won't have to wait too long. As requested by a reviewer, there is a cuddly Ezra scene. It's just kind of hard to make them lovey-dovey 24/7 when they're at their parent's. Another thing, I'm so sick of hearing the whole "babies are overdone comment". If you don't like it, don't read it. Just don't complain about it. My story= I get to decide what happens. **

**Thanks as always for the reviews! They make my day. **

**If you want to see Aria's dress, the link is on my profile. **


	20. Some Things Never Change

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 20**

"_Tell me what you want to hear__  
__Something that were like those years__  
__Sick of all the insincere__  
__So I'm gonna give all my secrets away__  
__This time, don't need another perfect line__  
__Don't care if critics never jump in line__  
__I'm gonna give all my secrets away"_

_~Secrets by Onerepublic_

"Noel! What are you doing here?" I couldn't help the bitter note of surprise creeping into my voice. Even two years after his discovery of my relationship with Ezra, the knowledge he held still made me uneasy.

"He's one of the assistant coaches this year. Isn't that cool?"

My eyes flickered over to my brother. "Yeah, Mike. Really Cool." Everyone seemed oblivious to my discomfort—especially my mother.

'Will you stay for dinner, Noel? I'm sure you and Aria have a lot to catch up on.""

"Thanks Mrs. M. I'd love to." He flashed her a grin and then turned to address me. "I can't wait to hear all about St. Louis."

"Good, then it's settled. I'll go start dinner. Mike, run upstairs and take a shower. The mud and grass stains need to go."

"Yeah, Mom." Mike headed upstairs and Mom walked towards the kitchen.

"Dinner should be ready in half hour or so." She disappeared down the hallway, leaving Noel and I alone in the living room.

"So."

"So?"

The silence between us was awkward and tension filled, and I fumbled for words to fill it. "Are you going to Hollis?"

He sank into one of the plush leather arm chairs flanking the couch. "Yeah, I'm majoring in math."

I couldn't help giving a light giggle. "You? And math?"

"Crazy isn't it? Mike tells me you're getting married. Planning already?" He gestured towards the stack of bridal magazines on the coffee table.

"Just looking really."

"Who's the lucky guy?"

And just like that the hope I'd harbored since his arrival that he'd let sleeping dogs lie disappeared. I blanched at his question and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Ezra."

Anger flickered across Noel's face for only a brief moment, before the cool mask of indifference settled back again.

"Ezra? As in Ezra Fitz? As in Mr. Fitz our old English teacher?"

I nodded slightly. "The same."

Noel's voice was harsh when he spoke. "Can't say I'm surprised. He always was a sick freak."

I knew better than to bait him into an argument, but I refused to sit by and let him slander Ezra's character. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Noel stood and came over to sit next to me, perching gently on the arm of the couch. "You know what I'm talking about. There's what, seven years between the two of you? I'd always hoped for your sake that you'd get over the infatuation the two of you had with each other when he was still teaching here."

"It's not like that, Noel! I can't believe you still can't get past the fact that I didn't want to date you. That's what this is really about isn't it?" I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes.

"No, this is about you being taken advantage of." He reached out and trailed a finger softly over the curve of my cheekbone. I jerked away and he stood up again. "But that doesn't mean I'm not still hoping that one day you'll realize that while you were pining over your English teacher you let the better guy get away."

"Right. Well don't hold your breath on that one." My voice was dripping with sarcasm and my lips set in a tight line.

He frowned. "You know, I actually don't think I'm going to stay for dinner. Tell your Mom I'm sorry? I'll let you make up the excuse for why I had to leave. You're pretty good at the whole lying thing."

I glared at him. "Just go already."

He held up his hands as if he was surrendering. "I'm going, I'm going." He shrugged his jacket on and moved to open the front door. At the last moment he turned to face me again, the same smug smirk from earlier playing on his lips. "Call me sometime?"

He didn't wait for my reply. Instead he grinned broadly and stepped out onto the porch, the door slamming shut behind him.

Stupid, self-righteous, self-centered, bastard! With a huff I flopped back onto the couch. Not two minutes later, my Mom came rushing into the room, worry etched across her face.

"Where's Noel?"

"He had to leave."

She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to offer up the full story.

"His friend called, something about a broken down car and needing a ride. He said he was really sorry and that he'd be happy to take you up on the offer another time."

"Oh. Alright then." She glanced over at the dining room. "Help me set the table?"

I smiled and rose from the couch. "Sure."

* * *

Later that evening, long after dinner had been eaten and the dishes cleared away, I sat along in my room rifling through the clothes I'd left behind. They were mostly winter things: sweaters, jackets, boots and the like. When I'd moved out to St. Louis, the weather had been a sunny seventy three degrees. Now, as the weather grew colder I needed warmer clothing.

Stretching up on my tiptoes, I jumped to reach an old duffel bag stuffed at the top of the closet. After a few tries I managed to knock it loose and it came tumbling down. I caught it with one hand and tossed it back onto the floor behind me, before reaching up and yanking another bag down.

Behind it was my old yearbooks, a few filled journals, and to my surprise, a box I'd completely forgotten about. It took me a moment to remember what it was and why it was up there, but when I did the old pang of sadness resurfaced and my eyes shut momentarily in pain. They were Ezra's things—our things rather, from our first relationship.

I tugged it down softly, catching the weight of it easily in my arms.

Settling onto the floor, I opened the box slowly. There on top was a plastic spoon from our first date, a pair of chopsticks, and a movie ticket from the 3 o'clock showing of "It happened one night." I couldn't help but giggle as I pulled each item out in turn, a soft smile curving on my lips as the memory attached with each flashed through my mind.

Below that lay a sweatshirt of his that I'd borrowed one night, a few of the random notes we'd written each other, and beneath all of it, wedged into the bottom flap of the box, was the letter he'd written me just before he left.

I didn't pick it up, preferring to keep the painful memories of the past shoved into a wrinkled and tear stained envelope. Instead, I pulled the old sweatshirt over my head, grinning like an idiot as the sleeves extended far past my hands and the hem fell just below my hips.

After I'd put everything back into the box and set it on top of my desk, I lay back on the bed and pulled out my phone.

Ezra answered on the second ring, his voice rough and lazy sounding, like he'd been sleeping.

"Hello?"

"Hey, did I wake you?" I glanced over at the alarm clock on my nightstand and was surprised to find that it was three after eleven.

"Yes, but it's alright. I'd rather talk to you than sleep anyway."

I smiled and laughed quietly. "How was your day?"

"Miserable." His tone was so serious, the statement heavy and tired sounding.

"Why? What happened?" I pulled a pillow to my chest and fiddled absently with the ring on my finger.

"You weren't here. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it two more days. It's only been twelve hours since you left and I'm already unsure what to do with myself."

I giggled. "I have faith you'll live. You managed for two years without me, remember?" I winced as I realized how vindictive that had sounded. No matter how happy we were, the past would always remain a sensitive subject between us.

"Yeah, I remember. What about you? How's Rosewood?"

Sighing heavily, I plucked absentmindedly at a loose thread in my comforter. "The same as it's always been. It's almost surreal in a way. I grew up here, yet it's not home anymore." I gave a small laugh and shifted onto my side. "I don't think you have to worry about my mother harming you. She's gone wedding crazy—I think she spent a fortune on bridal magazines."

His relief was evident in his voice. "Oh. Well I'm glad. I thought I was going to have to show up to dinner in a bullet proof vest."

I grinned and shook my head.

"Did the two of you decide anything?"

"I picked out the colors. How do you feel about pastels?"

He gave a choked, forced chuckle. "Ahh—frightened? Please tell me you're joking."

I giggled. "Yes."

"Good. I mean if you really wanted pastels…" I couldn't help but cringe as he said the word like an expletive.

"I don't."

"Thank, God. How are you feeling?"

My hand strayed beneath the frayed hem of the sweatshirt, fingertips brushing lightly against the swell of my lower abdomen.

"Fine, although I had a hard time explaining to my Mom why my favorite macaroni and cheese wasn't my favorite anymore. I thought I was going to be sick when she set the bowl in front of me."

He laughed and the sound brought a smile to my lips.

"I miss you." My voice was quiet, just loud enough to be considered above a whisper.

"I miss you, too, Aria."

"Listen, I think I'm going to shower and then head to bed. I'll call you in the morning?"

"Yeah. I love you."

"Love you, too. Goodnight, Ezra."

The line went dead and I sighed softly, feeling secure in the knowledge that for the time being, everything was right in the world.

**A/N: This chapter isn't nearly as long as the usual, but I felt like I needed a filler to set the stage for the next few chapters. I'll be updating the website sometime in the next few days, so check there for spoilers/upcoming plot developments. As always thanks for the reviews. You guys are the best!**


	21. Some Secrets Aren't Meant to Be Kept

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 21**

"_Slow down.. this night's a perfect shade of__  
__Dark blue (dark blue)__  
__Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you__  
__I said the world could be burning down__  
__Dark blue (dark blue)__  
__Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you__  
__I said the world could be burning 'til there's nothing but dark blue..__  
__Just dark blue"_

~ Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin _  
_

Thanksgiving had gone smoothly enough, though the absence of my father at the dinner table was still a bitter pill to swallow. I'd spent most of the morning locked away in my room, the overpowering smells of sage and chicken stock proving too much for my nausea. Thankfully, when meal time came my morning sickness had passed and I was able to enjoy the turkey and all of its trimmings. I'd even managed to sneak away from my mother's wedding planning antics to call Ezra. He was flying in at two on Friday afternoon and I'd be picking him up at the airport.

Thursday night I slept very little, my anxiety about Ezra's arrival and the many different ways his visit could go getting the best of me. By the time eight a.m. rolled around the following morning, I'd had three and a half hours of sleep, packed all my winter clothes into two duffel bags, and scrutinized every wedding dress in every bridal magazine my mother had bought—yet I was still a ball of nerves. The very idea of sitting and waiting until two o'clock was maddening, and the frustration of doing nothing was enough to motivate me to shower, dress, and head out for a morning on the town. Shopping was better than driving myself crazy, right?

I stopped off at The Grille for a bagel and caramel latte, my eyes lingering slowly at the table Spencer, Hanna, Emily and I had claimed as our own during high school. It was strange being in this place so full of memories, yet seemingly so incongruent with my new life. I chose a small booth near the window, content for the moment to enjoy my food and gaze at the people that bustled by on the snow dusted street.

I dropped into a few shops after eating, more interested in taking my mind off everything than actually seeing what deals I could snag on Black Friday sales. It wasn't until I entered a small boutique to look for a birthday present for Emily that I found something truly worth buying.

As I held the tiny garment in my hands, I couldn't help but try and picture what my child would look like wearing it. The onesie was plain white, no decoration or screen printing as some of the others had. I supposed it was its simplicity that caught my attention, that and the impossible size of it. Was a baby really that small?

I bought it. I wasn't sure why. The baby wouldn't arrive for several months, and I had no need for it—yet buying the onesie, even if it was going to be useless for quite some time, made everything seem more real. Purchasing it made picturing our child easier. In my mind's eye, it was already a little boy with dark brown hair and deep blue eyes; a boy who looked just like his father.

It was nearly lunch time when I got back home, empty handed save the boutique bag stowed safely out of sight in my purse. I hated hiding things from my family, but I'd learned the hard way that the truth often did more harm than good.

Mike was the only one at the house. Mom, he said, had left before I had that morning, eager to start her Christmas shopping. We ordered pizza for lunch, neither of us ready to tackle the leftovers from the previous day just yet.

"Why don't I go pick it up? It'll be faster and then you won't have to rush to make it to the airport on time."

I glanced up at him from my laptop and smiled gratefully. "Good idea. The car keys are in my purse."

I was surprised when Mike reappeared in the dining room doorway a few seconds later, a confused expression on his face.

"Aria, what is this?" He held up the baby onesie.

"What is—oh." My eyes widened and I stifled a groan. "It looks like a baby onesie."

He scoffed. "Yeah, I'd figured that out. What I meant was, what is it doing in your purse?"

"Uhm," I bit my lip hesitantly, "it's mine?"

"You mean you're—pregnant?" The final word came out as a squeak, disbelief etched firmly in his tone.

I struggled for a moment, searching for some semi-believable excuse. None came. The truth however, did. "Yes."

"How long?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I only found out a few days ago."

He nodded. "Were you—I mean are you going to tell mom?"

"Not now. It's—I just can't."

A choked laugh escaped him. "Aria, this isn't exactly some secret you can keep forever."

I sighed heavily. "I know. But Mike, do you think you could keep this to yourself? Just for a little while, please?"

He gazed at me wearily. "I don't know, Aria. This is kind of big."

Silence fell and we stared at each other uncomfortably for a few minutes. Finally he stepped forward and placed the garment on the table before me. "You need to put this somewhere else, somewhere it won't accidentally be found."

He smiled softly and I hugged him impulsively. "Thank you."

And then just like that, the rare, sweet sibling moment was over. "Yeah, yeah." He shoved me away playfully. "I'm going to get the pizza before I die of starvation."

I laughed and nodded at him. "Good idea."

* * *

Less than two hours later I stood anxiously in the airport, my hands clasped firmly in front of me and my feet sore from standing on tiptoe each time people came from the gate.

I was fairly certain I'd never been so excited to see Ezra in my life, with the possible exception of that first day in St. Louis. When he finally emerged from the throng of people, it took all of myself restraint to keep from rushing into his arms.

"Ezra!"

He caught my eye and grinned broadly. "Hey!" He set down his bag and hugged me tightly. "I missed you."

I kissed him gently. "I missed you, too."

His fingers came up and traced my cheek lightly, his thumb brushing just beneath my eye. "I take it you having been sleeping either?"

I giggled and kissed his fingertips. "Are my dark circles that bad?"

He smiled. "No worse than mine." Releasing me, he bent to pick up his bag. "Ready to go?"

I interlaced my fingers with his. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?" I flashed him a grin and was surprised when he didn't reciprocate. "Ezra, what's wrong?"

He shook his head and gave a shaky smile. "Nothing."

I eyed him curiously. Something was most definitely wrong. "Hey, what is it?" I used my free hand to guide his chin towards me, forcing his gaze to meet mine.

"I—I guess I'm just nervous about meeting your parents."

"Technically you've already met them."

He arched his eyebrows.

"Alright, maybe it's not the same, but like I told you, Mom's gone crazy over this wedding thing. And my dad—well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

His forehead dropped to mine, our noses bumping together softly. "You're right."

His answer should have brought me relief, but it didn't. Though his lips were quirked in a smile and his hands firmly gripped mine, his eyes were heavy; the murky blue hiding his feelings. That alone frightened me more than anything else.

**A/N: So another chapter in less than 24 hours! I'm as excited as you guys probably are. Wonder what Ezra's hiding? And will Mike keep their secret? Check out this nifty site for clues to upcoming chapter (links on my profile). **


	22. Love Doesn't Run

Miserable At Best: Chapter 22

"Love don't run, love don't hide

It won't turn away or won't back down from a fight

I'm right here and I ain't going any where

Love's too tough it won't give up no not on us

Love don't run"

~Love Don't Run by Steve Holy

I managed to subdue my anxiety about what was really wrong with Ezra during the car ride, his impending reintroduction to my mother taking greater precedence. We chatted quietly during the thirty minute ride back, he speaking of how he'd gone fishing with his father the day before and I relaying the events of my morning, sans purchase of baby clothes. If I was honest with myself, my biggest fear was that his masked demeanor was in some way related to my pregnancy.

I shook the notion off as quickly as it came. That was ridiculous—he'd been happy about it just the other night. Things couldn't change that quickly, could they?

Regardless, I'd have to save my musings for another time, for as we pulled into the driveway Ezra's worried voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you sure I don't need a bullet proof vest?" He glanced over at me as I took the key out of the ignition.

"Nah." I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "My mother doesn't believe in owning guns."

He rolled his eyes and stepped out of the car. "Comforting."

I climbed out and moved to stand beside him.

"Here goes nothing," he whispered. I couldn't help but feel the same.

* * *

To be fair, I'd always suspected my mother had a bit of a crush on Ezra, so when she gushed over his arrival like it was the greatest thing since sliced bread, I wasn't really surprised. What I wasn't prepared for however, was the sudden shift in her attitude towards him after dinner.

"So you and Aria just happened to run into each other in St. Louis?"

Ezra furrowed his brow and shifted uncomfortably on the couch beside me. "Ah—yes."

"And then you guys just started dating?"

I stared at her in disbelief, trying to puzzle out what had brought on the inquisition.

"Uhm, it was actually about two months later." He smiled and took my hand. "Aria's quite stubborn when she wants to be."

"Yes, I know. I guess what I really want to know is, was it awkward for you? I mean you were her teacher. I can't imagine—"

My eyes widened and I rose from the couch. "Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?" I jerked my head towards the kitchen table and she nodded.

"Sure."

She followed me into the dining room and I shut the door behind us.

"Mom! What is going on? I thought you were alright with this. What's the witch hunt?"

She shook her head. "I'm just trying to understand this. I support you guys—I really do. It's impossible not to notice how much he loves you, but it's hard to reconcile the guy sitting on my couch with the guy that broke your heart two years ago."

At that moment I literally felt my knees buckle and I sank into the nearest chair. "You—you know?"

She looked shocked. "Of course. It took me a while to figure it out but—"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

She shrugged and sat down beside me. "By the time I'd figured it out, he was gone. There wasn't much I could do. Even if I had, it would've only hurt you further. "Reaching across the table she squeezed my hand lightly."I am happy for you. I haven't seen a smile like I did tonight in years. But someday, when you're ready I'd like to hear to full story."

I smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Mom."

She stood and embraced me tightly. "There's nothing to thank me for. Now, come on, Mike's probably boring Ezra with the latest score of the football game."

I laughed. "Yeah, Ezra's not much of sports fanatic. I guess it's an English thing."

She grinned and opened the door. "You're telling me."

* * *

Ezra and I headed out a bit later, both to seek refuge from my mother's incessant chatter and to steal a few minutes to ourselves. As we walked the tree lined, snow dusted sidewalks of Rosewood; I couldn't help but feel grateful that we'd been given a second chance. Two years ago, walking hand in hand down the street together would have been impossible. Now, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"So, coffee and then the bookstore?"

He glanced down at me where I was cuddled close to his side, my hands wrapped firmly around his lower bicep.

"You know me too well."

I giggled. "Or we're just too much alike for our own good."

He paused in front of the coffee shop and tugged me into his embrace. "Maybe." His hand swept up and through my hair, moving it to one side. "Have I told you how much I love you tonight?"

I grinned. "Yes, but I wouldn't mind hearing it again."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Aria Montgomery, you are impossible, but I, Ezra Fitz, have fallen irrevocably and unquestionably head over heels for you."

I stood on tiptoe and wrapped my arms about his neck. "Well, that's a good thing Ezra Fitz, because I feel exactly the same way."

He kissed me sweetly then, and for a brief moment I was able to forget my worries. When he pulled away, I couldn't help but sigh softly. "You shouldn't be so perfect."

He smiled sadly. "I'm not."

I frowned and stroked his cheek softly with one hand. "Ezra, what's bothering you?"

His arms dropped limply to his side and he shook his head ruefully.

"It's just—"He sank down onto a nearby bench.

"Ezra, you're scaring me."

"Come here." He reached out with one hand and tugged me down to sit beside me. "I've been thinking about everything, about you and about our engagement, about the baby. And I—"

He took a shaky breath and I covered his hand with mine.

"I feel like such a jerk. I'm messing everything up."

I furrowed my brow and slid a finger beneath his chin to tilt his gaze towards mine. In his watery stare was the emotion he'd been struggling so hard to hide from me—guilt.

"You should be going out to parties, and goofing off with your friends, and doing all the crazy things you're supposed to do in college. I'm holding you back from that."

He jumped up from the bench and began pacing in front of me, hands shoved in his pockets and his mouth set in a grim line.

"Ezra—"I fell silent, unsure of what to say.

"Aria, don't you see? I'm asking too much of you. No girl your age should have to be a wife and mother." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I've ruined your life."

I shook my hand and wrapped my arms around his waist tightly. "Ezra, you haven't ruined anything. I've never been so happy in my life. You and this baby," I drew one of his hands down to nestle against my stomach, "are everything to me."

He jerked his fingers away as if I'd burned him, my initial concern morphing into anger as he tried to refute all that I was saying. With a sickening lurch, I realized how similar this argument was to the one we'd had just before he'd left the day after homecoming.

"You don't get to walk away this time." I didn't mean to say it out loud. I really didn't.

"I'm not leaving you, Aria!" He sighed heavily and looked at me sorrowfully. "Do you really think I'd do that?"

"That's sure what it sounds like! Why every time I'm truly content is, elated even, you have to try and talk yourself out of this relationship? What is it going to take for you to realize that being with you is the only thing that matters to me?"

I really needed to learn to hold my tongue—arguing wasn't doing either of us any good.

"I'm not—"

"You are." I glared at him and dug the car keys out of my purse. "You know what? Forget the coffee, I think I just want to go home and go to bed."

His shoulders slumped. "Fine."

* * *

We rode back in silence, both of us nursing the wounds caused by the words of the other. My anger had faded by the time I climbed out of the car, replaced by a weary sadness. Ezra seemed to have cooled off too, although he still refused to meet my gaze. I unlocked the front door and tossed my purse into an armchair.

"I'll bring down some blankets and make up the couch for you."

The only acknowledgment he gave was a slight nod.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later I headed back upstairs, doing my best to stave off the tears that stung my eyes. His silence cut more deeply than anything he could've said.

Just as I was about to step into the bathroom and take a shower, my mom appeared in the hallway, a worried expression on her face. "You're back early."

"Yeah, both of us were tired."

She nodded and turned back towards her bedroom. Just before she shut the door she paused. "Aria, you may be grown, but if you ever need to talk I'm here."

I smiled softly. "I know, Mom."

She echoed my smile and stepped into her room, the door clicking quietly shut behind her.

Needless to say, it wasn't long before I was sitting on the bed beside her, a crumpled tissue in one hand and tear tracks staining my cheeks.

"We met the day we got back from Iceland. After I dropped Mike off at practice, I stopped off at the Hollis Bar for a hamburger—he and I started talking and I guess the rest is history."

I told her everything, from the first day of school to the final fight at homecoming. She listened in silence, patting my hand soothingly every so often, and occasionally leaning over to brush tears from my cheeks. I didn't tell her about our most recent argument, the pain of it still to fresh for words.

When I finished she smiled warmly.

"Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry you went through all of that alone, but it makes everything else easier to understand."

Even in my emotional state, I managed a small giggle. "Well, I couldn't exactly tell you I was dating my English teacher."

She laughed. "Yeah, you're probably right. It wouldn't have gone over to well at the time."

I hugged her tightly before sliding off the bed. "I think I'm going to turn in. Goodnight, Mom."

"Goodnight, Aria."

I paused at the doorway, my hand poised just over the door way. "Oh and Mom? I love you."

"I love you, too, Aria."

Later that night, as I lay curled on my side in bed, one hand curled protectively around my lower abdomen, the other tucked beneath my head, I couldn't help but muse over everything Ezra had said. While deep down I knew he hadn't really meant it, his words still hurt. Did he really think he was ruining everything and that I actually wanted to go out and get drunk every night with my friends? And as for the baby, new and unexpected as it was, I wouldn't change it for the world.

There was much that still needed to be sorted out between us, but tonight was not the time. We'd talk in tomorrow. I sighed and recalled the closing line from one of my favorite novels. "For after all, tomorrow is another day."

**A/N: It's a little longer than last chapter. So, Ella knows their secret…well one of them. Ezra's doubting himself (hence the Shakespeare quote in the clues I gave—the link is still up on my profile if you want to check them out). And poor Aria is confused. Sounds like one big mess! There won't be another chapter until after the finale, but I promise it'll be a lot more uplifting that tomorrow night's episode is sure to be. Thanks as always for the reviews, they make my day. Love, Sarah 3**


	23. Like A Puzzle

Miserable At Best: Chapter 23

"_Sunday morning rain is falling__  
__Steal some covers share some skin__  
__Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable__  
__You twist to fit the mold that I am in__  
__But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do__  
__And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew__  
__That someday it would lead me back to you__  
__That someday it would lead me back to you"_

~ Sunday Morning By Maroon 5

While Scarlett O' Hara's words proved to be true, and today was another day, not much had changed since last night. If possible, things were even more morose. I woke, chilled and alone, to the incessant tap, tap, tap, of rain upon the windowpane and the distant rumble of far off thunder. Sleep didn't offer the refuge I'd hoped it would. Instead, dreams had plagued me; dreams of abandonment, dreams of resentment, dreams that taunted my own insecurities.

I sighed heavily and rolled over, clutching a pillow to my chest and clenching my eyes tightly shut to block out the lingering images from my mind. From downstairs I heard the opening of the garage door, followed the revving of a car engine. Wearily, I glanced over at the clock, wondering who was up at such an early hour. To my surprise, it was nearly 10 o'clock, the grim overcast skies belying the actual time. A pair of feet pounded down the stairs and then the front door slammed.

Dimly, I remembered my mother mentioning something about dropping Mike off a Dad's house and then meeting a friend for brunch. Their departure meant that Ezra and I were alone. I debated seeking him out, my anger over his comments warring with my desire to patch things up. The latter won out.

I rolled out of bed, wincing as my bare feet hit the cold, wooden floor. My skimpy tank top and shorts were ill suited for the early winter morning and I scanned my room quickly for something to throw on. There, hanging over the back of my desk chair was Ezra's old sweatshirt, the sleeves still folded over from when I'd worn it the previous day. I couldn't help my small sigh of delight as the burgundy fleece settled over my shoulders. Much, much better. I slid a pair of striped fuzzy socks onto my half frozen feet, another sigh slipping through my lips as my toes regained feeling.

After glancing quickly in the mirror to make sure the smeared mascara from last night was gone, I opened the door, nearly colliding with Ezra as I stepped out. He caught my arm briefly with one hand, holding me just long enough for me to steady myself. "I didn't mean to startle you."

I took a few steps back and shrugged my shoulders. "It's alright. I wasn't really paying attention."

The two of us fell silent for a moment, I shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another, he staring at me uncertainly.

"I brought-"

"I thought-"

We spoke at the same time, our words jumbling together to create a mass of unintelligible sounds. I couldn't suppress a grin and he chuckled lightly.

"You first."

He nodded and handed me a mug. "I brought you coffee, you know, as a peace offering of sorts."

I took it from him gratefully, enjoying how the heat from the cup warmed my fingertips. "Thank you."

He smiled sheepishly. "You're welcome. Your mom wanted me to tell you that she and Mike were heading out to run a few errands but would be back sometime after lunch."

"I know. Listen, I was thinking while they're gone we could talk. It's just that I didn't sleep well, and if I don't get this off my chest…I just feel so badly about everything and—"

He cut me off, placing his index finger over my lips for a short second. "Aria, I should be the one apologizing. I was a complete asshole and was insensitive and I—sorry just doesn't seem to cover it."

"You're right. You were a complete jerk." My voice was bitter, although from lack of sleep or actual anger I couldn't tell.

His face fell and he shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm…" He didn't finish his sentence. Instead, his sad gaze lifted to mine, pleading with me to understand.

Outside the rain continued, the claps of thunder followed closely by bright flashes of lightening. I sighed heavily and touched Ezra's jaw line with the tips of my fingers. "I don't want things to stay like this." I choked out a hoarse laugh, which sounded strained even to my own ears. "Besides, it takes too much energy to stay angry with you for any length of time."

The corners of his mouth quirked the tiniest bit.

"But we do need to figure this out." I inclined my head towards the bedroom. "Can we talk in there? I feel awkward standing in the hallway like this."

He pressed his lips together in a thin line. "Sure."

I turned back into the room and resettled myself onto the bed, curling my legs beneath me and setting the mug of coffee on my nightstand. Ezra sank onto the foot of the bed, a curious smile on his face. "Is that my sweatshirt?"

"Yeah, I found it the other night when I was cleaning out my closet." I shifted, drawing my legs up to my chest and resting my chin softly on my knees. My voice was quiet when I spoke and I fiddled with the engagement ring on my finger. "Did you mean what you said last night, you know about ruining my life?" I refused to meet his stare, knowing that if I did tears would certainly follow. "Because you don't. The only way my life would be ruined is if you weren't in it."

"I don't know. I guess in some ways I did. I feel like I mess everything up. Maybe we should wait, hold off on the wedding until you're older, out of college."

I frowned. "Why would we do that?"

He stood up off the bed and faced the window. "Because I'm asking too much of you. I can't change the baby, but at the very least I can take away the pressure of being a wife." He glanced at me again, the guilt he was feeling making him look far older than his twenty-five years.

"You wish I wasn't pregnant?" I hadn't meant for the question to sound so small, so defeated.

"Yes. I mean no. I mean-" He groaned and sat down on the bed beside me, taking my hands tightly within his own. "After you left, I couldn't stop thinking about you and the baby, about how much you mean to me, and about how much the idea of being a father scares the hell out of me. And I panicked. I started questioning things—if I'd forced you into marrying me, if what you'd said about wanting the baby was true or if you resented me for getting you into this situation." His shoulders slumped and he looked at me wearily. "I panicked."

Puzzled, I traced the curve of his cheek with my palm, his stubble tickling the sensitive skin. "So are you talking yourself into this or out of it?"

We shared a small smile as I recalled the words from years ago. He took my hands again, loosely lacing our fingers together.

"There is no out. Even if there was, I wouldn't want it. I'm in, Aria. No matter what I'll always be in."

"That's a good thing, because you're stuck with me."

He rolled his eyes playfully. "On second thought…"

I shoved him backwards onto the mattress gently. "Not funny."

He drew me down to him, bringing us so close that our foreheads rested against each other. "Then why are you laughing?"

I bit my lip in an effort to stifle my giggles. "I'm not.'

He quirked an eyebrow and wove a hand through my hair. "Whatever you say." His lips met mine softly in a kiss that was intended to heal rather than arouse passion. I pulled away with a whispered _I love you_, and rolled beside him, my head resting on his shoulder.

'We're quite a pair."

His gaze flitted towards mine, a confused expression on his face. "How so?"

"Well, I'm overemotional and rash and you're always on a guilt trip and spend way too much time thinking about the what-ifs. Yet we still fit together like puzzle pieces. It's crazy."

He propped himself onto one elbow and peered down at me. "It's not crazy. It's called being soul mates."

Under most circumstances I would've found his words the epitome of cheesiness, but in that moment, with his hand cupping my cheek and his eyes boring into mine with such tenderness nothing could've been sweeter.

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and grinned broadly. "I love you, Aria Montgomery."

I kissed him affectionately. "I love you, too."

He lay back down beside me and tugged the comforter over us. "So does your Mom like me? She's been incredibly polite, but is it just for you? I mean she's not plotting to poison my lunch or anything is she?"

I giggled. "Are you kidding? She loves you!"

"She told you that?"

"She didn't have to." I paused and slid a hand over his heart, enjoying the thump, thump, thump, of its rhythm. "She knows about us."

His eyes widened and he sat up quickly. "Knows, knows? As in the past knows? For how long?"

"Years, apparently. I didn't know until last night though."

"And she's alright with it?"

"I wouldn't take it that far, but she accepts it for what it was."

"Wow."

"Yeah, and Mike might know that I'm pregnant."

He stared at me in shock. "Might? I thought we weren't going to tell anyone!"

"Well, technically I didn't tell him."

He arched his eyebrows, waiting impatiently for the rest of my explanation.

"I went shopping the other morning and bought a baby onesie—it was just so tiny and I—anyway I may have left it in my purse and he found it when he was looking for the car keys. But he swears he won't tell, and I believe him."

Ezra nodded. "There's not much we can do about it now. Any other bombshells you want to drop? We're on a roll right now."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not at the moment." I smiled and forced him to lie back down next to me. "Since neither of us got any sleep last night and Mom and Mike won't be back for a few hours, how do you feel about a nap?"

He draped a heavy arm over my middle and slid the other beneath my head. "That sounds like a very," he pressed a kiss to my temple, "very good plan."

**A/N: After the horror of last night's episode I couldn't drag their fight out any longer. What did you guys think of the finale? Love it? Hate it? Next chapter we visit Byron and then head back home to St. Louis. Wonder how that will go? **


	24. Ice Cream Sundaes

Miserable At Best: Chapter 24

"_There you were and there I was__  
__Was it fate from above?__  
__Either way I found just what I need__  
__All I do is think of you__  
__Close my eyes and fall into__  
__a world totally made for you and me"_

_~What Can I Do (But Love You) by Joy Williams_

Ezra and I had a reservation for seven at a local steakhouse to meet my father for dinner. Somehow, I found it within myself to clamp down on the fear that the evening would go horribly, horribly wrong. Ezra was freaked out enough for the both of us.

"This is suicide."

I glanced over at him for a moment before turning my attention back to the road. "Probably." I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "But it'll be alright in the long run. Why do you think I chose a public place?" I grinned at him. He glared at me.

"Not funny, Aria."

I laughed and reached for his hand across the console of the car. "I'm sorry. It will work out though, I promise. He likes you."

"No, he liked me before I proposed to his eighteen year old daughter."

I pulled into the lot of the restaurant and parked. "Ezra, everything will be okay. Just be your usual, charming self." I kissed him gently on the cheek. "Now come on, his car is already here."

* * *

I didn't realize how much I'd missed my father until I saw him sitting at a booth in the back, a large grin on his face. Tugging Ezra along by the hand, I wove my way between the tables, excitement overruling proper decorum.

"Aria!"

"Hey, Dad." I released Ezra's hand and hugged my dad tightly. "I've missed you."

He kissed my forehead and squeezed me close to him. "I've missed you, too."

I pulled away and took Ezra's hand. "I believe the two of you had already met."

Ezra extended his free hand towards my dad. "How are you, sir?"

The two of them shook hands and shared a friendly smile. "Good and you?"

"Never better."

The three of us sat down at the table, Ezra's hand settling over one of my knees and caressing lightly.

"Aria, how's your mom?"

I bit back the urge to tell him to call her himself and smiled sweetly. "She's great. I think she was meeting some friends for dinner tonight."

"That's good. Listen, I just want to apologize for the way I reacted when you called me last week. The things I said were completely out of line. Ezra it wasn't a personal thing. You just have to understand that I'm a father who's little girl is getting married just a few months after she's gone off to college. I'm still a bit overprotective."

"I understand, Mr. Montgomery. But no apology is necessary. I probably would've reacted the same way if I was in your position."

Beside me, I felt all of the tension drain from Ezra. Suddenly, my worries over some kind of blow up from my father seemed all for naught. I mouthed a thank you across the table to my father across the table. He grinned brightly and took my free hand.

"So how's college going?"

From then on conversation flowed freely, and although I was fairly certain that my dad wasn't yet one hundred percent on board with our engagement, he wasn't entirely against it either. For now, that would be enough.

Nearly two hours later, Ezra and I left the restaurant, he smiling lightly and I contently full.

"That went well."

I pressed myself against his side, and wrapped my hands around his upper arm. "I believe now is the appropriate time for me to say _I told you so._"

"Funny." His voice was sarcastic but he grinned at me anyway.

"So now that you've survived, how do you want to celebrate?"

He paused by the car and turned to face me. "I know it's cold out, but how do you feel about ice cream?"

"Ice cream sounds perfect." I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips softly. "Thank you for being such a good sport."

"Mhmm." He drew me close to him and hugged me tightly. "Ready to go?"

"Sure, but you're driving." I tossed him the car keys and got into the car.

We stopped off at the Rosewood Creamery, the only customers on the cold winter night. Ezra ordered a hot fudge Sunday, ever the traditionalist, whilst I was a bit more adventurous and ordered my own concoction of peanut butter ice cream, pretzels, and caramel sauce.

Ezra laughed as I took my first bite, my eyes closing and a small sigh escaping my lips.

"You might be the weirdest person ever."

I arched an eyebrow at him and licked my spoon thoughtfully. "Why?"

He glanced at my ice cream. "Because no normal person mixes all of that together."

I glared at him and took another spoonful. "For your information this has been my favorite since middle school. Just taste it before you judge, alright?"

He grimaced but let me feed him a little bite. I watched him anxiously, waiting for the moment when he'd admit that I'd been right.

"Alright, that's actually pretty good."

I laughed and reached across the table to wipe a bit of caramel off is lower lip with my napkin. "I know."

He took his spoon and scooped a large chunk of ice cream out of my cup.

"Hey! That's mine." I meant to sound cross, but my laughter ruined the moment.

"Yeah well," he took another bite, "we can share."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you really going to steal a pregnant woman's ice cream?"

"Yes." He grinned and I pushed his hand away from my cup playfully.

"Why do I even put up with you?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I've been wondering the same thing myself. It probably has something to do with the fact that we're madly in love with each other."

I giggled. "Probably. Listen, I've been thinking about the wedding."

He pushed his empty ice cream cup away from and stared at me thoughtfully. "Aria, if you want to wait—"

"Ezra, that's not what I meant. I was thinking about setting a date. How do you feel about New Years Eve?"

"That'll work. It gives us more than a year to plan everything out and get things settled."

I frowned. "I mean this New Years Eve, as in two months from now."

At that moment, I don't think his eyes could have been any wider.

"Two months from now? Is that even enough time to plan a wedding?"

"If it's a small wedding and I've never really wanted a big, elaborate affair anyway."

"I—well it's fine with me, but don't you think your parents might freak out? They've been pretty cool about all of this so far, but…"

"They'll go along with whatever I want. Ezra, I don't want to be huge on my wedding day, and I'd like to do it before the baby comes so that we can go somewhere for our honeymoon."

"Aria it doesn't matter to me if you're the size of a whale on our wedding day."

My jaw dropped and I folded my arms across my chest.

His eyes flickered shut for a moment and he groaned. "God, that didn't come out right. What I meant was, you could show up in rags on our wedding day and I wouldn't care. The only thing that is important is that you're there. We don't have to rush into anything just because you're worried about being a certain size."

"It matters to me. There are only a few more months before it's obvious that I'm pregnant, and I'd like to be married before I have to tell my parents."

Ezra stared at me for a moment, and thoughtful smile playing on his lips. "Alright, New Years Eve it is. Where did you want to have the wedding?"

"I thought we could have the ceremony at the church and then the reception at that little inn over on Maple Street, unless you had something?"

He shook his head. "Nope, that works for me. I'm more concerned about the honeymoon anyway." He smirked wickedly and stood up from the table. "We probably need to get going. It looks like they're getting ready to close up shop."

Sure enough, the lone girl working was scrubbing the counter down and straightening up the menus at the bar. He took our empty ice cream containers and tossed them into the garbage can before reaching out a hand and pulling me up from my seat. "Ready, Miss Montgomery?"

"Lead the way, Mr. Fitz."

The house was dark when we got back and my mom's car wasn't in the drive way. It was almost eleven, and it wasn't like my mom to stay out late.

"That's weird. I wonder where she could be."

Ezra pulled into the garage and turned the car off. "I'm sure she's fine."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

We headed into the house, and I flipped on the lights as we went. Even three years after Ali's disappearance and A's psychotic rampage, the dark still frightened me. Just as I started up the stairs, Ezra slid an arm around my waist and pulled me to him.

"So I was thinking maybe you could sneak me into your room tonight?" He nuzzled my neck softly with his nose and I laughed.

"That can probably be arranged, but you have to promise me no funny business."

"The last thing I need is my brother—" I flushed a deep red and didn't finish my sentence.

Ezra chuckled and slid a hand beneath the fabric of my shirt, his fingertips brushing lightly against the small of my back. "Well, I still want to test out that quiet theory."

I kissed his cheek softly before pushing him away from me. "Not a chance."

He shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "It was worth a try."

"How about I show you my baby pictures to make it up to you?"

He grinned broadly. "Sounds like a deal to me. And to think I'd almost forgotten about them."

I shook my head and giggled. "I'm warning you know though, I was a dorky little kid."

"Well, I'm sure you were adorable."

"Flattery won't get you anywhere."

He smiled sadly. "You're killing me here."

"Mhmm," I stretched up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Good thing I know CPR."

He laughed and slid his arms around my waist. "Yeah, that makes me feel better." He caught my lips softly, one hand tangling in my hair and the other wrapping snuggly around my hip.

"Ezra, the pictures?" He sighed heavily as I broke away.

"Yeah, the pictures."

Leaving Rosewood the next day wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be; maybe it was the fact that I would be returning in a few short weeks for winter break, or maybe it was because there wasn't really anything holding me to it anymore. Regardless, it felt good to be heading back to St. Louis, back to my little bubble of domesticity with Ezra.

I'd told my mother over breakfast that I wanted to get married on New Year's Eve, and while she wasn't exactly thrilled, she didn't put up much of a fight. She promised to call me after she spoke with the owners of the inn and let me know if it was available for the reception, as well as contacting the caterers and florist. To be honest, I didn't care greatly about the details; so long as I had the perfect dress and Ezra waiting for me at the end of the aisle I would be content.

Our flight departed at eleven and four hours later I was unlocking the door to our apartment. I'd never been so grateful to see my own bed. Ezra laughed as I collapsed onto the mattress with a soft moan.

"That good?"

"You have no idea."

He bent down and kissed my forehead. "I think I'm going to jump in the shower and then run to the grocery store. There's absolutely nothing to eat here. Want to come with me?"

I groaned and clutched a pillow tightly to my chest. "I think I'll pass, the only thing I want to do right now is sleep. But I'll cook tonight."

He laughed and smoothed my hair back from my face. "Alright. Thank you for going to meet my family, it meant a lot."

"Mhmm, you're welcome."

He kissed my lips lightly before heading towards the bathroom, the door shutting quietly behind him. I was asleep before he'd even turned on the water.

I woke a short time later, roused out of my sleep by the shrill ring of the phone. Too tired and still half asleep, I didn't bother to get out of the bed to find the phone. The answering machine picked it up a few moments later and I listened to make sure it was something important.

"Ezra, this is Christine. I need to talk to you. I think I made a mistake."

Suddenly, I was very much awake.

**A/N: So this is definitely not my favorite chapter (although my dislike has nothing to do with Christine). It just feels kind of boring…which in some ways I guess it is. Next chapter is definitely going to be AWESOME, and will definitely compensate for the awfulness of this one. Thanks to all of my reviewers and for those of you who haven't yet, follow me on twitter isburke. I also just want to thank all of the readers for their dedication. I've had 4000 visitors on this story alone for the month of March! That's insane! Much love always, Sarah. **


	25. In A Heartbeat

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 25**

"_Hold me down, sweet and low, I'll carry you home._

_Hold me down, and I'll carry you home._

_Rain is going to fall, sun is going to shine._

_Wind is going to blow, water's going to rise."_

~Sweet and Low by Augustana

I jumped up from the bed and wandered into the living room, curious to hear what else Christine had to say.

"Hardy gave me the number after I called your old one and it was disconnected. Umm, he said that you were seeing someone else, but I was wondering if you wanted to give us a second shot. Leaving you was the dumbest thing I've ever done. I—" There was a heavy pause, followed by a sad sigh. "I love you, Ezra. I've never stopped. I was stupid and if I could take it back I would.' Her voice caught again and I sank down on the couch to listen to the rest of her message. There was a muffled sniffle and I realized she was crying. Though I felt no sympathy for her, Ezra was mine and nothing would ever change that, I did recognize the tone of desperation in Christine's voice. It was one I'd heard from myself on many occasions. It was the voice of a girl who'd lost the thing she cherished most. "Just umm—if you could call me back, I'd really like to talk to you."

She hung up and the answering machine beeped.

The old wave of insecurity welled within me again and I fought it back. The fear that Ezra would leave was absurd, and I refused to let the notion take root. For his sake, I needed to stop letting my irrationality and emotions overrule logic.

I drew my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around my shins and resting my chin on knee. Even with jealousy tainting my thoughts, I still felt for Christine. Just two short years ago, I'd pleaded with Ezra the same way, begging him to give us another go—it hadn't worked. I sighed heavily and twisted my engagement around my finger. Things couldn't be more different now.

A key clicked in the lock of the front door and I glanced up just in time to see Ezra push the door open with one shoulder, his arms laden with groceries. I scrambled off the couch to help him, catching two of the bags just before they fell to the floor.

"Thanks." He gave a sigh of relief and dumped the bags onto the kitchen counter. I set mine down beside his before wrapping my arms around his waist. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Mhmm." I kissed his neck softly before pulling away. "Did you buy out the entire store?"

He laughed and surveyed all of the groceries. "It looks that way doesn't it?"

"Yeah." I started unpacking them, holding up three boxes of Captain Crunch quizzically.

He shrugged his shoulders. "What? It sounded good!"

I rolled my eyes and put them in the pantry. "Umm—Christine called while you were gone."

He stilled beside me and set the can of soup he'd been holding back on the counter. "You talked to her? What did she want?" He glanced over at me, brow furrowed and lips set in a thin line.

"I didn't talk to her, she left a message though." I pressed play on the machine and sat down on one of the bar stools.

He stared past me as he listened, his face blank and void of any emotion. Finally, when it ended his gaze met mine.

"Are you going to call her back?"

He frowned and sat down on the other stool. "Why would I do that?"

"Well, clearly she still has feelings for you, and I don't know—it just seems like the right thing to do. Don't you think she should hear about us from you?"

He sighed and reached for the phone. "You're right."

I slid off of my seat and headed towards the bed. "I think I'll take a shower before I start dinner. Can you handle the rest of the groceries?"

He smiled tenderly and kissed my forehead. "Sure."

I knew that his small actions were thanks for my giving him space to make the phone call alone. I may have understood of Christine's plight, but the possessive part of me wasn't ready to listen in on Ezra's conversation with her.

When I emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, hair freshly shampooed and no longer reeking of the recycled air from the plane, Ezra was laying on the bed, one hand folded behind his head, the other using the remote to flip TV channels.

I settled beside him, my legs tangling with his, and my head nestling gently on his shoulder. He took a deep breath and dropped the remote, his hand curling over my hip instead. We lay like that for a few moments, both of our gazes focused on the TV.

"Ezra, why are we watching Jersey Shore?"

He laughed and hit the mute button. "I don't know. It's just one of the only things one, I guess."

"So, how did it go?"

He drew a ragged breath and rolled us over so that we lay on our sides facing one another. "As well as can be expected, I suppose." A harsh laugh escaped him and he smiled sadly. "She was angry at first—called me every name in the book and then some. And then she cried, pleaded with me to give us another shot."

'What did you say?"

"That I was sorry I'd hurt her, but that I wouldn't trade what I had now for anything in the world."

My fingers tangled in the soft hairs at the nape of his neck and I kissed him gratefully. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Saying the most perfect things. It's like you know exactly what I need to hear."

"It's just the truth, Aria."

"Mhmm." I kissed him again, longer this time. "I love you, Ezra."

The unique smile I'd come to call my own, the unguarded, loving curve of his lips that he reserved for me alone broke across his features. "I love you, too, Aria."

He shifted so that he was above me, one hand holding up his weight, the other bunching the t-shirt I was wearing just below my bust. His fingers tickled the sensitive skin of my stomach and a I giggled. He grinned and moved lower, kissing my neck as he went.

"Ezra—mmmm—what about dinner?"

He chuckled and pressed a kiss just above my belly button. "Dinner can wait."

And it did.

The ridiculous amount of Captain Crunch Ezra had purchased came in handy, for when the two of us finally left the bedroom it was incredibly late and we were exhausted. We sat cross legged on the living room floor, the box of cereal and a carton of milk between us.

"I thought I'd call and make a doctor's appointment for later this week. I was going to see if they had one Wednesday afternoon since I don't have a class. Do you want to go?"

He set his empty bowl down on the coffee table. "Of course! Just let me know what time and I'll get someone to cover my classes.

I spooned the last bit of milk into my mouth and then put my bowl beside his. "I'm also going to start looking for a job. The campus book store was hiring last week, maybe I can check there first."

Ezra frowned and slid an arm around my shoulders. "Why?"

"Well, I like books and—"

"Not why the book store, Aria. Why the job?"

"We're going to need a bigger place for starters, and babies aren't exactly cheap."

"Aria, you don't have to work. When I told you that the private school paid better than Rosewood Day, I wasn't kidding. And there's the money from my books. I mean, we can't go out every night, but we have plenty."

"Are you sure? I just feel useless."

"I'm sure. There's no reason for you to work. But if it makes you feel better, four years from now, after you've graduated and are a multi-million dollar author, you can contribute all you want."

He grinned and kissed my nose. "Now come on, Miss Montgomery. It' s getting late and we both have to rejoin the real world tomorrow."

I groaned and stood up, gathering the bowls and milk as I went. "Don't remind me."

He helped me rinse out the dishes and then headed to the bedroom. I lingered for a few minutes longer, making sure the lights were all out and the door was locked. He was already asleep when I crawled into bed, one arm draped across my pillow. I wormed my way against his chest, rearranging us so that his arm was wrapped snugly over my waist. He mumbled a sleepy "love you" and I smiled.

"I love you too, Ezra Fitz." I kissed his bare shoulder. "More than you'll ever know."

********************************************************************************* Erin was waiting for me at the coffee shop the next morning, a large grin on her face. "So, how did the whole meeting his family thing go?"

I laughed and snapped the lid onto my coffee cup. "Good morning to you too. And it went fine."

We stepped out into the bright winter sunlight, both of us shivering as the cool air hit our skin. "They're really nice. He gave me his mother's ring while we were there." I stretched my hand out for her inspection, grinning as the stone glinted in the sun.

"That's beautiful, Aria! Have you guys set a date yet?"

I nodded. "New Year's Eve." Her steps faltered and I looked at her worriedly.

"New Year's Eve, as in less than two months from now?"

"Yes, that New Year's Eve."

"Wow—I—isn't that kind of fast? What's the rush?"

I paused and turned to face her. "Erin, if I tell you something you have to swear that you'll keep it to yourself."

She reached out and squeezed my hand. "Of course."

"I'm pregnant." I cringed out of habit, waiting for some shriek or squeal—none came. Instead, she stared at me, a confused expression on her face.

"Like with a baby?"

I laughed. "Yes, with a baby."

"Wow."

"I know."

"Did you tell your parents?"

"No, you're the only one who knows, besides Ezra of course, which is why you can't tell anyone."

"I won't, but—wow!"

"It'll sink in eventually, I promise. Now, come on or we'll be late for class."

********************************************************************************* The obstetrician's office was a generic looking brick building, set in a row of buildings that were identical. It was flurrying lightly, the sky overcast, and the air bitter—overall a rather grim day for such a life changing occasion. I was early, and Ezra had yet to arrive, so I sat alone in the warmth of my car, half heartedly listening to the radio. Nerves and excitement warred within me, and I wasn't sure if the nausea I was feeling stemmed from my emotions or my pregnancy.

A car pulled in beside me, and I glance up just in time to see Ezra step out of it. He was grinning, that trademark boyish expression of his that could break hearts. I took the key out of the ignition and buttoned my coat before opening the door and climbing out.

"Hey."

I wrapped my arms around him in a quick hug. "Hello." I wrapped my gloved fingers snuggly in his and smiled brightly. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Hand in hand we climbed the steps of the doctor's office, ready to face whatever lay ahead.

Thirty minutes later we were in an exam room with the doctor, an older gentleman with a balding head and warm, friendly smile.

"Now, I don't know if we'll be able to pick up a heartbeat just yet, but we'll give it a shot."

I nodded and winced slightly as the cold gel met with my bare skin. Ezra sat beside me, his fingers laced tightly with mine and his eyes riveted on the doctor.

"Ah—there—do you see that little dot in the lower left hand corner? That's your baby."

Open mouthed, I stared at the screen, tears welling in my eyes. Up until that moment, I don't think my pregnancy had fully clicked. There was another human being inside of me, depending on my to bring it safely into the world. I wiped a tear from my cheek and sniffled softly, a gentle smile curving on my lips.

"Let's see if this works." He flipped a switch and moved the ultrasound around a bit. Not two seconds later, the distinct sound of a heartbeat filled the room, the thump-thump-thump the most precious sound I'd ever heard. The doctor smiled brightly. "And there's the heartbeat."

Ezra's chin dropped to my shoulder, and I brought his hand to my lips, brushing them along his knuckles in a soft kiss.

"Wow."

I tilted my head to look at him, surprised to find his eyes glistening with tears as mine were. "It's amazing isn't it, daddy?"

He laughed and kissed me tenderly. "That it is, mommy. That it is."

**A/N: So we end on a cute and fluffy note 3. I like this chapter simply because it ties up some loose ends—sort of, and starts winding things down for the conclusion of this story. It looks like chapter 30 will be the last one—but that means that there's still 5 more to go, so don't get to disheartened. I'm also looking for baby names—so if you have suggestions feel free to send them to me. If your name is the one chosen, I'll give you full credit. Much love, Sarah. **


	26. One Of Those Days

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 26**

"_Oh, you know how it goes  
Give off the vibe that everything's fine  
As long as, as long as  
You don't look in my eyes  
It's all going just so perfectly wrong."_

~ One of Those Days by Joy Williams

* * *

Life settled into an easy, albeit busy, rhythm in the weeks before Christmas. School was still school, and Erin was still Erin, so college was never boring, although the closer finals drew the heavier my workload became. My free time, what little I had of it anyway, was split between wedding preparations and Ezra. Our three week break from reality had spoiled us, and transitioning back into a world that didn't allow for lazy mornings and lengthy cuddle sessions was rough. What time we did have together though, was precious and I cherished every moment of it. We spoke in great detail of the future, deciding that we'd wait until the school year ended to move to a bigger place. It was cutting it close to my due date, but it made the most sense. We also agreed to tell my parents about the baby when we went back to Rosewood for the wedding. It was at his insistence—not mine. But with each passing day, my pudginess was getting harder and harder to pass off as nothing more than the freshmen fifteen.

The holiday season was always one of my favorite times of the year. I loved the decorated trees, the gaily wrapped presents, and the twinkling lights that lined every house and every shop window. Ezra was far less enthusiastic about the festivities, and I was determined to convert him.

I'd been sleeping later on the weekends, compensating for both the hours I didn't get during the week and the rest my growing body demanded. On the days when I did lounge in bed until mid-morning, Ezra would head to the gym and return just in time for a late brunch with me. That'd been our routine for a few weeks, so I was surprised to wake just after eight on a mid-December Saturday and found Ezra still asleep beside me. I lay still for a few moments, enjoying the heavy weight of his arm over my hip and the steady beat of his heart beneath my ear, as I willed myself to go back to sleep.

I was restless however, eager to be productive for the first time in days. Deftly, and as gently as possible, I wriggled free of his grasp and padded softly to the bathroom to shower. Half an hour later I left a still sleeping Ezra and the warmth of our apartment to find the perfect Christmas tree.

The tree lot was empty when I arrived; save one older gentleman working the cash register, so I was left to browse the trees and listen to the cheesy tunes blaring from the speakers in relative peace. Not fifteen minutes into my search, I stumbled, quite literally, upon the perfect tree. At just over five feet tall, it was large enough to be considered a Christmas tree (I'd always harbored an immense dislike for the miniature ones), and just small enough to fit in the living room without overwhelming it. I paid for it and helped, Benny, as the elderly man called himself, tie it to the roof of the car.

I stopped quickly at the store and picked up ornaments, lights, and any other Christmas-y looking bobbles I thought we might need before heading back to the apartment. The sun had finally emerged from behind the clouds by the time I pulled into my parking space, warming the frozen ground and making the temperature a bit more bearable. I sat in the car while I called Ezra, the nip in the air still too much for being outside necessarily.

He answered on the third ring, his voice gravelly and rough with sleep. "Hey, where are you?'

"In the parking lot. Can you come down here? I need you help carrying some stuff."

I heard the little groan he gave. "What kind of stuff, Aria?"

I laughed. "It's a surprise."

"Alright, I'll be down in a few." He hung up and I smiled softly as I tried to picture his reaction.

Not long after, he came out of the front doors of the apartment building, bundled into jeans and thick sweatshirt. I stepped out of the car and grinned at him. "Surprise!" I pointed towards the tree on top of the car. "What do you think?"

He chuckled and wrapped me in his arms, dropping a kiss on my forehead in the process. "I think you're crazy for leaving a very warm bed so early in the morning to buy a Christmas tree. But I also think it's incredibly cute that you're so excited about this."

I kissed him lightly in response. "Well, I'm just a cute person in general."

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes, "you're extremely modest too. Now, let's get this thing unloaded. It's freezing out here!"

It took us two trips; the first for the decorations, the second for the tree. By the time we had the tree up right in the corner of the living room, we were both breathless; Ezra from wrestling it into place, and I from laughing at his frustration.

"There, we're done." He sighed heavily and flopped back onto the couch. I quirked an eyebrow at him and pointed towards the boxes stacked on the coffee table. "Not quite."  
He groaned and wrapped an arm around my waist, tugging me onto his lap. "Can't that," he pressed a kiss to my neck, his lips cool against my flushed skin, "wait a while?"

I giggled and ran a hand affectionately through his mussed hair. "No."

He smirked and slid the tips of his fingers beneath the sweater I was wearing, his touch light and teasing. "But I'm sure we could put our time towards something much better than stringing silly lights on a tree."

"Don't knock the tree, alright? Besides, I'm supposed to meet Erin for lunch and I want to get this done before I go."

His hands slid higher, pausing just centimeters from the lace of my bra. "All the more reason to spend our time wisely." And then, almost as a whisper: "I never get to see you anymore."

Suddenly, I felt guilty. He was right—we lived together, yet barely saw each other, or if we did I was too tired to do anything but sleep. I shifted on his lap so that I could kiss him. "I'm sorry." My lips met his again, lingering for a few long moments. "I can cancel with Erin, and…"

"No."

"Ezra-" I sighed heavily and rested my forehead against his. "It's not a big deal. My English essay can wait."

"You should probably go—Erin's going to need your help."

"Yeah, but…"

"Aria, it's fine. I'll be here when you get back."

I shook my head. "It's not though. I've been so caught up with school and I've been completely unfair to you."

"You're going. But when you get back it's date night, alright? How do you feel about dinner, and then a movie in bed back here?"

I grinned. "Can we skip the movie?"

He smirked. "That can probably be arranged."

I stuck my lower lip out in a playful pout. "Will you still help me with the tree? Please?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't even try that puppy dog face on me, Aria Montgomery. It doesn't work."

I tilted my head to the side thoughtfully. "Really now?"

He chuckled and squeezed my waist lightly. "Okay, maybe just a little bit. Now come on, you'll probably need help stringing those lights, seeing as how you're incredibly short."

I climbed off his lap and tossed him a strand of lights. "If you insist."

He shook his head and headed towards the tree. "You're impossible, you know that?"

I giggled and turned the stereo to the Christmas station. "I know."

* * *

By the time I got back from Erin's, I was more than ready for my date with Ezra. Normally, I loved hanging out with her, but the guilt from earlier in the morning hung over my head like a storm cloud all day. Ezra hadn't answered my phone calls all afternoon. It wasn't like him to ignore me, and I was worried I'd hurt him far worse than he let on.

I unlocked the door to the apartment, dropped my bag on the floor, and headed towards. The living room. "Ezra, I'm…"

I stopped short as my gaze fell on the blonde woman sitting on the couch and my shirtless fiancé standing across from her.

"What the hell is she doing here?"

**A/N: Evil Cliffhanger :;)**** Not my favorite chapter ever, but it sets everything up for the next one. What could **_**she **_**possibly be doing in their apartment? Can't say my clue for this chapter didn't warn you about "babies not being the only things that cause bumps". Speaking of babies, I'm still looking for names. I'm reviewing all of them sometime in the next few days and the chosen one will be mentioned in the next chapter. Reviews make my day-provided they're not nasty. **


	27. Misunderstandings and White Dresses

Miserable At Best: Chapter 27

* * *

"_But we both know how we're gonna make it work when it hurts."_

~The First Time by The Script

* * *

I must have resembled a dying fish at that moment, jaw hanging ajar and eyes wide in shock. The odd little smirk on Christine's lips wasn't helping matters any either.

"Aria, this is not what it looks like." Ezra took a step towards me, but I backed away.

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I just walked into my apartment to find _my _fiancé half naked with another woman. Or am I missing something?"

"Fiancé?"

I tore my eyes away from him to glance angrily at Christine.

"Ezra, you didn't tell me you were engaged to her! For Christ sakes she looks like she should be your student!"

I flicked my gaze back over to Ezra, my cheeks flushed and eyes brimming with tears of resentment. "You didn't tell her?"

"I…"

"No, he didn't. He just said he was seeing someone. I didn't think it was serious."

I folded my arms across my chest, the action highlighting my tiny baby bump. "I don't suppose he told you I was carrying his child either, did he?"

Now she was the one who resembled a dying fish. "No, he didn't." And just like that the defensive air she'd had about her since I'd walked in dissolved. "I—um—I think I should go. Coming here was a mistake."

"Yes, it was, and yes, you should." I stepped aside as she brushed past me, jumping slightly as she slammed the door behind her. As I turned to face Ezra once more, I realized that my initial anger had morphed into the deepest sense of betrayal—looking at him was like taking a punch to the gut.

"Aria…"

"How could you?" My voice was cold, the tone of it clearly taking him by surprise.

"How could I—oh God no, Aria! It was nothing like that." He moved towards me, reaching out a hand, but I stepped away from him.

"What as it then, Ezra" Because it sure as hell looked like I'd walked in on something I wasn't meant to."

"Will you just let me explain?"

I wrapped my arms around myself and nodded slightly.

"I was getting dressed—so we could go out when you got home—and someone knocked on the door. I thought it was you, that you'd forgotten your key and it…anyway I didn't know it was her until I opened the door, Aria. I swear!"

"And you let her in?"

"Yes…well no, not exactly."

I arched an eyebrow at him and moved to sit on the couch. "Not exactly?"

"She kind of barged in actually, shoved me right out of the way and started ranting about how much she missed me." He sat down beside me and sighed softly. "She'd only just sat down when you walked in. Nothing happened, Aria, you have to believe that."

"I do." Somewhere between Christine's departure and the first half of Ezra's explanation the fight had gone out of me. I no longer felt angry or heartbroken, just incredibly foolish for doubting his integrity. "I do believe that, but I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I hadn't come in when I did."

His hands came up to cup my face, his fingertips feathering lightly over my cheekbones. "Nothing would've happened. I love you more than life itself, and nothing Christine said or could've said will change that."

My eyes watered and I blinked rapidly to stave off tears. Ezra smiled tenderly and leaned forward to kiss me.

"I'm sorry." I sniffled and slid closer to him, my arms wrapping tightly around his middle and my head nestling onto his shoulder. "She just looked so smug when I walked in—my emotions got the best of me."

"Mmm, they've been doing that a lot lately."

I laughed quietly. "Yeah, I guess they have. Stupid hormones."

He grinned and kissed my nose. "Now that we've settled that I'm not a lying, cheating scumbag…" I rolled my eyes. "Do you still want to get dinner?"

"Of course I do. I'm starving!"

He laughed and pulled me to my feet. "Is there ever a time when you're not?"

I shook my head. "Not really." I turned and headed towards the bathroom to shower. "We're leaving in half an hour. Put a shirt on Mr. Fitz! And you better be alone when I get back out!" His answering laugh echoed about the apartment, and continued long after I'd shut the bathroom door.

* * *

On the first day of winter break, Emily, Spencer, and Hanna flew in to pick out bridesmaid dresses and help me find a wedding dress. I hadn't really meant to wait until last minute, but between studying and sleeping there had been little time for anything else. My fingers were crossed that I'd be able to find a dress that fit perfectly and needed no alterations.

We set out early, just after nine, bundled into heavy coats and scarves to ward off the winter chill. The first boutique we stopped at, though small, was crammed from one wall to the other with white dresses. Hanna, always the one with an eye for extravagance, made a beeline for the nearest Cinderella-esque dress. Jewel encrusted and layered with fabric, the dress was a monstrosity that looked as if it weighed more than I did.

"I don't think so."

Hanna fingered the skirt gently, a disappointed pout forming on her lips. "Why not?"

"Simple, remember? I don't want anything with a lot of fuss."

She huffed and flounced off towards a rack of equally ridiculous dresses. I laughed and turned to a rack farther back, my fingertips trailing thoughtfully over the lace and satin.

Forty-five minutes later I stood in front of a full length mirror, a happy smile on my lips.

"That's it," Spencer breathed, "that's the one."

I met the warm gazes of my three best friends in the reflections of the mirror. "You really think so?"

"Aria, it's perfect." Emily brushed my hair from my shoulders, a winsome smile on her face and her eyes glistening with tears. "You look beautiful."

"Don't cry!" The four of us laughed and I smoothed the ivory lace of the dress over my hips. "Let's get it." I stared at my reflection a few moments longer before stepping down off the raised platform and heading back to the fitting room. Spencer followed to help me out of the dress, the long row of buttons down the back too troublesome for one set of hands.

I managed to undo the first three, and she made quick work of the rest. I slid the straps off of my shoulders and the fabric pooled at me feet with a soft rustle.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who gained the freshman fifteen." At her words, my hand flew instinctively to my stomach, my palm flattening against my lower abdomen.

"It's getting noticeable isn't it?" I turned towards the mirror to study my figure.

She laughed. "Relax, Aria. I was kidding."

I bit my lip uncertainly and turned to face her. "Spencer I'm…"

She glanced at me as she bent to retrieve the dress and place it back on the hanger. "Aria, what is it?"

I took a deep breath. "Spencer, I'm pregnant."

"You're what?" The hanger she'd been holding clattered to the floor.

"Pregnant."

"How?"

I giggled. "Well, the usual way of course." My sarcastic comment seemed to jar her out of her shock.

"Oh, right. Well, congratulations?"

I nodded. "Thank you. I mean I wasn't thrilled at first, but now I wouldn't change it for anything."

She hugged me tightly. "Do you know if it's a boy or girl?"

I shook my head. "Not yet."

"How did Ezra take it?"

"He's thrilled," I gave a small laugh, "and terrified—we both are."

She grinned. "Have you…" Her question was cut off by a sharp knock at the door.

"Is everything all right in there? I'm glad you found a dress, but I'm starving!"

Spencer and I grinned. "We'll be out in just a minute Hanna."

I shimmied back into my dress while Spencer placed the wedding gown back in its bag.

"Are you going to tell them?"

"I guess I have to. I'll wait until this evening though. If I don't, Hanna won't focus on anything else."

She smiled. "True. Ready to go?" I cast a final glance around the fitting room to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything.

"Yep, all set."

* * *

It was nearly six o'clock by the time we made it back to the apartment, each of us shouldering a garment bag.

"So dinner in or dinner out?" I dropped my car keys and purse on the counter.

"Definitely in!" Hanna sighed and laid her dress over the back of the couch. "My feet need a break."

"Mine too." Emily took the rest of the bags and placed them next to Hanna's. "How about ordering Chinese?"

"Chinese it is. Why don't you guys sit at the table and we can go over seating charts and music for the reception while we wait?"

The nodded and filed into the dining room. I followed them after I placed our order, snagging a binder and pen from the living room on my way in.

"So Aria, where's Fitzy this evening?"

"At a faculty Christmas party."

"You didn't want to go?" Spencer reached across the table to take a blank diagram of the seating chart.

"Not really, you guys are here. Besides, it doesn't look very good on his part if his date is still young enough to be a current student." I grinned and handed Hanna a sheet of notebook paper.

"Here, make a list of songs for the DJ. Emily, why don't…"

Spencer elbowed me sharply and I gasped.

"Oww! What was that for?"

"Aren't you going to tell them?" Her gaze darted from my eyes to my stomach and back again.

I glared at her. "Not now."

"Tell us what?"

When I didn't answer right away, Hanna glanced up to look at me. "Tell us what, Aria?"

I sighed heavily—_here went nothing. _"I'm pregnant."

For a few minutes there was dead silence—I'm not even sure if we were breathing. Then, just as I was beginning to worry Hanna let out the most obnoxious squeal.

"Oh my God!"

"Wow."

"Cutest baby ever!"

"All the clothes…"

"When are you due?"

"Boy or girl?"

I wasn't really sure who was saying what, Emily and Hanna were speaking at once, their words tumbling together to form a jumble of mumbled sounds.

"Why don't the two of you shut up so she can speak?" Although Spencer's words were harsh, her tone was light and teasing. Hanna and Emily fell silent, both of them staring at me expectantly.

"I'm due in June, but I don't know the gender yet. I promise to tell you as soon as I find out."

"You'd better. Have you told your parents?"

I shook my head. "No! Which is why you guys have to keep this to yourselves for a while."

"You are going to tell them, right?"

"Of course she is, Em. She can't just randomly show up with a kid one day."

"Yes, I'm telling them when I go home. I just haven't figured out how yet."

The doorbell rang, interrupting our conversation. I jumped up to answer it, grabbing my wallet off the counter to pay the delivery boy. A few minutes later I returned to the dining room, a plastic bag full of food in one hand and a stack of paper plates in the other. "Ready to eat?"

We ate slowly, doing our best to draw out the short time we had left together. "Spence, what time did you say your flight left?"

"Eleven. Crap! It's already eight. We'll have to leave soon."

I sighed heavily and began stacking the empty takeout containers. "I wish you guys didn't have to go."

"Me too, but we'll all see each other next week. You better be prepared for the biggest bachelorette party Rosewood's ever seen, Aria!"

I groaned and Hanna laughed.

"What? Don't you want a big party?"

"Actually Hanna, I was thinking something small—just the four of us."

She rolled her eyes. "I guess it is _your _wedding."

We stood up from the table and began clearing away plates and soiled paper towels. "Do you want me to drive you to the airport?"

Spencer dumped everything into the garbage can. "No, we'll take a cab. Didn't you say Ezra would be home soon? We wouldn't want to keep the two of you…" She trailed off as the front door opened and Ezra stepped into the apartment. "Speak of the devil."

"Hey, Mr. Fitz!" Hanna let out a girlish giggle and waved at him.

He grinned and shook his head. "Hello, Miss Marin. Emily. Spencer."

I rolled my eyes—some things never changed. Ezra set his brief case and scarf on the coffee table before kissing me quickly. "Where are you girls headed?" He gestured towards the door where Spencer was tugging on her boots.

"They're going to the airport."

"Ah—I take it your shopping trip was a success then?" He grinned slyly and moved towards the garment bags lying on the couch.

I threw myself in front of him, arms spread wide to keep him away. "Oh no you don't! You can wait until New Year's eve like everyone else."

He laughed and held his hands up in a mock surrender. "Alright, alright."

With my wedding dress safe for the time being, I turned my attention back towards the girls, who were now all bundled into their jackets. "Are you guys sure you don't want me to drive you?"

Emily shook her head. "It's alright. The cab is already waiting."

I smiled sadly and embraced each of them in turn. "I'll see all of you next week. Call me when you get home?"

The nodded and headed out the door. Hanna was the last to go and paused just outside of the apartment.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Congratulations, Daddy Fitz!"

"Hanna!"

She grinned, I groaned. "Bye! See you next week."

I shut the door and took a deep breath before glancing over my shoulder at Ezra.

"You told them?"

I caught my lower lip between my teeth and nodded. "But I thought we-"

"We were." I wandered over to the kitchen counter and sat down on one of the barstools.

"Then why?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "It just happened. Spencer was helping me unbutton my dress earlier and when I stepped out of it she made a comment about my figure. I mean I'm nowhere near as thin as I used to be—and then it just sort of slipped out."

"So there are buttons on your dress?" He sat down beside me and reached over to brush a lock of hair from my cheek. "What kind of buttons?"

I giggled and caught his hand within my own. "You aren't mad?"

He shook his head. "Of course not, they're your best friends. I figured you'd told them ages ago." He leaned towards me, his nose brushing against mine as he bent to whisper in my ear. "About those buttons…"

"No, no, no! Absolutely not. In fact, I think I'll go box them up now so they can be shipped tomorrow." I slid down off the stool and headed for the bedroom, pausing to gather up the dresses in the process. "But if you want to, I'm sure I'll need your help with the buttons on the dress I'm wearing now."

He grinned and hopped down from his seat. "Well, it would be rude of me to refuse a lady asking for my help."

I giggled and leaned up to kiss him soundly. "I love you—you know that? Even when you're incredibly silly and far too curious for your own good, I love you."

* * *

**A/N: So this is the first half of chapter 27. It was post this half of it today or wait another few days for the whole thing. I've already pretty much decided on a baby name, but since this chapter is split in two it won't be revealed until the next half. So if you still have suggestions, I'm open to them. Also, since we're nearing the end I'm going back through and reediting to post a final copy that's free of errors (hopefully). Point them out if you see any!**

**Much love, Sarah. **


	28. Of Baby Clothes and Previous Boyfriends

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 27 Part 2**

By week's end I'd finished everything on my to-do list. My gown, the girls' dresses, and Ezra's tux had been boxed up and shipped off to Rosewood. Christmas presents had been wrapped and stowed safely away in a suitcase. The apartment had been cleaned from top to bottom and back again. I'd even managed to catch up on my writing—finishing several short stories and reediting the ones Ezra's publisher had reviewed for me.

Friday, our last day home before we flew to Rosewood for the holidays, was a lazy one. Since it was a teacher workday—his students had gone one break the day before—Ezra didn't have to be at the school until ten. We lay in bed together for over an hour, a rarity in recent weeks, speaking of our plans for the upcoming days.

"What time did you say your doctor's appointment was today?"

"It's at one."

He groaned. "I can't make it. There's a mandatory faculty meeting at twelve-thirty, and they always run long."

I shifted beside him, rolling onto my side so that my head rested on his chest. "It's alright. They're just going to check that I'm still taking my vitamins. You won't miss anything—I promise."

His hand slid down the length of my back and he pressed his lips to my forehead in a soft kiss. "But…"

"It will be fine, Ezra. I'll call you if I find out anything we don't know already."

He sighed heavily but nodded. "If you're sure…"

"I'm sure."

We lapsed into silence, our breathing the only sound in the still room. I cuddled closer to him, one hand skimming across his chest, one leg tangling between his. These quiet moments were becoming few and far between, and I found myself anticipating our honeymoon even more so than usual. In less than two weeks time I would be Mrs. Ezra Fitz and no planes, no meetings, no appointments, no other people would be able to keep us apart. I smiled at the though and kissed his shoulder tenderly.

"What are you so happy about?" He toyed with a lock of my hair as he spoke, a lazy grin spreading across his lips.

"Everything really, but just now I was thinking of our honeymoon—which by the way, you still haven't told me where we're going."

He chuckled. "All's fair in love and war. You get to keep your wedding dress a secret. I get to keep the honeymoon a surprise."

"It's not the same! I need to know what to pack."

"I promise I'll find a way to make sure you have the right clothes. But does it really matter that much anyway?"

I frowned at him. "Of course it does!" Then, almost as an afterthought, "why wouldn't it matter?"

He smirked and slipped a hand suggestively beneath my shirt. "Because I plan on keeping you naked the entire time."

I giggled and sat up, nudging him softly in the ribs as I did so. "Very funny."

"I wasn't joking."

I rolled my eyes. "I know." I got out of bed and grabbed my robe off its hook by the closet. "But you know we could always get started early." Inclining my head towards the bathroom door, I smirked at him. He was in the shower before I'd even taken off my shorts.

* * *

Later that afternoon, I sat alone on the couch, a giddy smile on my lips and two ultrasound printouts in my hand. Although our baby was still relatively alien looking, it was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. It had fingers now, and the cutest little nose. Though I was almost four months along now, the idea that another human being was growing inside of me, depending on me to bring it safely into the world, was mindboggling. Even more shocking was what I'd learned from the doctor during my appointment.

"_Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl yet?"_

_She furrowed her brow and stared at the screen skeptically. "Well, it's a little early yet, but it looks like…"_

_Twenty minutes after that I was pulling into the parking lot of a local baby boutique, the same goofy grin I'd been wearing for the past half hour still plastered on my face, and a third ultrasound picture, with the gender of the baby printed in the left hand corner, clutched in my hand. I didn't linger long in the shop, and I choose the first outfit that caught my eye—it didn't matter so much what the design was, so long as the color was right. The girl working the cash register gift-wrapped my purchase for me, and when I asked her to place the ultrasound image in the box with the onesie she smiled shyly and whispered a "congratulations." I thanked her and headed back out to the car, the white paper wrapped box tucked securely under my arm, and my goofy grin growing even broader._

The sound of a key turning in the lock drew my attention away from the photos in my hand and towards the door. Ezra stepped in a few seconds later, a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a pizza box in the other.

"Hey. I brought dinner home."

"I can see that." I laughed and rose to greet him, placing a soft kiss on his cheek as I took the pizza box from his hands. "Are those roses for me?"

I set the box on the dining room table and turned back to face him.

He shrugged sheepishly. "Actually, they're for my other girlfriend—you know the one that isn't eating us out of house and home?" An indulgent grin spread across his lips and I rolled my eyes.

"Not funny. I'm eating for two, remember?"

His smiled softened instantly and his gaze grew tender. "How could I forget?" The cool tips of his fingers brushed against the sensitive skin of my neck and I sighed softly. "Of course they're for you."

I took the crimson roses from his outstretched hand, my nose burying in the velvety softness of the petals and inhaling their fragrance. I stood on tiptoe and kissed him gratefully. "Thank you." He kissed me again, his lips moving much slower this time, and his fingers twining softly in my hair. "But what are they for?"

"Can't a man surprise his fiancée just because he feels like it?"

"I suppose so. Oh! Speaking of surprises, I have one for you." Laying the roses gently on the counter, I retreated to the living room and retrieved the pictures from the coffee table. "The doctor gave me these this afternoon." I handed him the ultrasound images, grinning slightly as his eyes widened and his voice caught.

"Is that…" He trailed off and sank down onto a kitchen chair.

"Yes, that's our baby. It's crazy, isn't it?"

He drew me onto his lap, one arm wrapping tightly around my waist. "Crazy is a very good word for it. Aria, we're going to be parents in a few months."

I stifled a laugh at the disbelief on his face and opted for something much softer. "Yes, Ezra." My hand found his, our fingers lacing together and settling firmly over my swollen abdomen. "Yes we are."

* * *

The day before Christmas was a busy one, with our flight landing at one and Ezra's family arriving from New York at three. My mother's house, which had always had a cold, almost bitter feel to it after the divorce, was filled with warmth again by dinner time. Ezra and I, Mike, my mom, Ezra's dad and aunt, the girls, and even my own father were crowded around the dining room table, all of us seated so close together that each movement jostled the person sitting next to us.

Yet, uncomfortable as it was, I wouldn't have had it any differently. In many ways it was a final blessing upon our engagement—that critical first merging of our families. And I suppose—although I didn't realize it until much later—that it was the confirmation that things would be alright—that I would finally get my happily ever after.

* * *

Christmas Eve dawned with all the brilliance of a winter sunrise, the grey sky quickly filling with fiery amber rays of light. I woke with the sun, stifled by Ezra's body heat and hanging halfway off the mattress—my day bed was not made to accommodate two people. With a quiet groan, I rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, eager to claim a bit of hot water for myself before the four other people staying at the house used it all up.

When I reemerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, dressed simply in a cream colored sweater and black jeans, Ezra was sitting up in bed thumbing through an old journal of mine. I gasped in surprise and lunged for it—managing to wrestle it free from him after a few seconds of struggle. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I guess we're calling off the wedding."

My eyes widened and I sat down onto the bed next to him. "What? Why?"

He grinned at me and took the journal back. "Well it seems you are promised to someone else—ah yes, here it is, and I quote—'Dylan and I are getting married someday. I used to think he was mean, but he's really really nice and has the bestest laugh.'"

The realization that the journal he'd been reading was mine from the second grade finally hit me and I giggled. "If you must know, he also had blonde hair and the greenest eyes."

Ezra rolled his eyes. "I'll never be able to live up to his memory, will I?"

I shrugged and sighed playfully. "Probably not."

"Such a shame—and here I was looking forward to our honeymoon. This also takes Dylan off my top five list of names if the baby is a boy."

We grinned at each other and I stood up from the bed. "You've been thinking of baby names? And I'm sure my mom will take pity on my poor jilted fiancé and feed you while I fly to California to look for Dylan."

"Of course I have. What do you think of Liam for a boy and Sophia if it's a girl?"

"I think they're perfect." I kissed him softly once more before starting towards the door, but he called me back. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I just told you, to find my long lost eight year old love."

"Oh right, well can you at least come back here and kiss me one last time?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him, but laughed and leaned over to kiss him. He caught me around the waist and tugged me down on the bed next to him. "Know what? I changed my mind. I forbid you from ever leaving this bed again."

I giggled again and curled up next to him. "Really now? What if it was to get you one of your Christmas presents—one that I thought would be your favorite?"

"Nope, not even then. I'll wait to open my gifts with everyone else tomorrow."

I shook my head. "You might not want to do that."

He furrowed his brow and stared at me quizzically. "Why not?"

I smirked. "Since I'm confined to this bed you'll never find out."

He shook his head. "Fine, you can leave to get it, but you have to come right back."

I grinned at my small victory—no matter how silly it was. If Ezra had one weakness, it was his curiosity. The suitcase I'd packed all the gifts in was tucked in the corner of my bedroom and I retrieved the tiny box quickly.

Settling back on the bed, I handed him the present.

"Are you sure you don't want me to wait until tonight?"

I shook my head. "No! I'm surprised I've managed to keep this a secret for more than twenty-four hours. I don't know if I'll make it until tonight."

He untied the white bow and pried off the cover off the box. Inside, beneath the multiple layers of tissue paper was the third ultrasound picture, the word boy printed in the bottom left hand corner. Under that lay the tiny blue onesie I'd picked out the other day. Ezra glanced up at me, with the warmest smile I'd ever seen on his lips, and tears glistening in his eyes. "We're having a boy?"

I nodded. "I wanted to tell you when I found out, but then I thought if I surprised you…" His lips silenced mine, and he pulled me back down onto the bed beside him.

"I love you, Aria Montgomery."

I nestled my head on his shoulder and fingered the soft cotton of the baby garment thoughtfully. "I love you, too."

A playful smirk spread across his face and he lowered his gaze to my stomach. "And I love you, Liam Fitz."

**A/N: AWWWW. So it's a boy and his name is Liam. Kudos to .singing for choosing that name. I loved reading all of the suggestions and every name was a fantastic suggestion. Liam just seemed to fit because it's traditional but just a little bit different—like Aria and Ezra. Thoughts? Comments?**


	29. Romeo and Juliet

**Miserable at Best: Chapter 28**

Five days later, on the eve of our wedding, as Ezra and I sat alone in my bedroom getting reader for the rehearsal dinner, I tentatively broached the topic of telling my parents about my pregnancy.

"I think my mom knows about the baby." I met his alarmed gaze in the reflection of my vanity mirror and smiled softly. "She's been asking questions all week—about how much I'm eating, about the ridiculous amount of time I spend sleeping, about my sudden preference for anything pumpkin." I sighed softly and unplugged the curling iron. "I just think we should tell her before someone slips up. You know how Hanna is—it's only a matter of time."

He glanced down for a minute and knotted the laces of his black converses. "Are you sure it's a good idea? What if they freak out—now isn't the most opportune moment for them to decide they hate me."

I laughed and shifted on the bench to face him. "They won't hate you. I mean, I can't imagine that they'll be thrilled at first, but…"

"Alright, we'll tell them tonight, but if it doesn't go well…"

I stretched a hand out towards him and he took it gratefully as he moved to stand behind me. "It'll be fine—I think."

"Mmm, if you say so." His hands brushed lightly over my bare shoulders and I smiled appreciatively.

"Can you help me with the zipper on this dress? We need to leave soon."

"Whatever my lady wishes." He grinned and tugged the zipper up, pausing briefly to bestow a heated kiss to the nape of my neck.

"Very funny, Romeo."

He laughed and slid an arm about my waist. "There, how do we look?"

I lay my head on his shoulder and glanced at our reflections in the mirror. We were quite a pair, he in his white button down shirt, dark grey slacks, and crimson tie, and I in a lacy black dress with a cream colored, satin underlay. I nearly didn't recognize the woman staring back at me in the glass—she was stunning.

Bright-eyed and glowing, she was radiant and breathtaking. The soft curve of her lips was innocent enough, yet the arch of her eyebrows belied a grounded sense of maturity. For the first time, I caught a glimpse of what Ezra saw when he looked at me—his claims that I was beautiful didn't seem quite so unfounded anymore.

"We are quite a pair, aren't we?" I tilted my head up to look at him, my hand straying up his chest to loosen the knot on his tie the tiniest bit.

He smirked and lowered his lips to mine for a brief second. "Mhmm, we certainly are. Ready to go?"

"Sure, but you know that bulletproof vest you wanted a while back?"

He blanched and stuttered out a small "yes."

"Maybe we should have invested in one before now." I grinned and headed out into the hallway, tugging a petrified Ezra along by the hand behind me.

* * *

My parents, Ezra's father and aunt, and Mike were sitting in the living room when we descended the stairs; all of them bundled warmly into coats and scarves.

"Everyone ready?"

"What took you so long? I'm starving to death!" I shot a glare at Mike as he grumbled, and stuck my tongue out playfully.

"Well clearly you're not dead yet."

"We're ready, just let me get the car keys." My dad stood up from the couch.

Ezra jerked on my hand sharply and arched his eyebrows as if to say _are we going to tell them or not? _

I turned back to my dad. "Actually, can you wait just a second? There's something Ezra and I want to tell all of you."

His brow furrowed in confusion, but he sat back down on the couch next to Mike. "Okay, shoot."

Suddenly, the room seemed ten times smaller and one hundred times warmer. I swallowed thickly and glanced towards Ezra. He gave a small reassuring smile and nodded slightly before wrapping his free hand tightly around my waist. "Ezra and I, that is to say we…"

"Yes, Aria?" My mother's voice was expectant and she was sporting a knowing smirk upon her lips.

"We're going to have a baby." The sentence came out in a rush, and I exhaled slowly when I finished. There, I'd said it.

"You're what?" The angry roar from my father broke the silence and I felt Ezra tense beside me.

"I'm pregnant, Dad." I wasn't sure where the confident note in my voice had come from. Perhaps it was the knowledge that no matter how my family reacted Ezra would be there or perhaps it was the security that I had in my feelings for him and my love for our unborn son—either way it seemed to take him by surprise. "I'm pregnant, and I want you to be happy for us."

"Excuse me. You want me to…" Mike stood from the couch and placed a restraining hand on our father's shoulder.

"She wants you to be happy for her, Dad. Look at her, she's practically glowing."

I'd never been as proud of my little brother as I was at that moment.

"Ella, aren't you going to do something?"

"What is there to do, Byron? I've had my suspicions since she got home last week, and while I wish she was older, much older, and out of school, we can't change anything. So no, I'm not thrilled, but we have to accept the fact that she's not a child anymore." My mother moved to kiss my forehead and hug me tightly. "She's very much a woman."

I smiled brightly. "Thank you, Mom."

"And Ezra, I know you'll take very good care of them."

Ezra stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds before I elbowed him in the ribs to jolt him out of his stupor.

"Oh, right. Of course, Ella, always." He turned to look at me, eyes warm and lip turned up at the corners. "Always."

My dad seemed to soften the smallest bit and cleared his throat gruffly. "Rights, well umm—I can't quite say that I'm happy for the two of you yet, but I'm sure I'll come around in time."

I smiled and untangled myself from Ezra's grip to hug my dad tightly. "That's enough for now, Dad."

Jack and Karen, who had been silent during the whole exchange, finally rose from their seats to congratulate us. Karen chattered excitedly to Ezra about all the wonderful things she was going to knit the baby while Jack spoke with me.

"So is it entirely inappropriate to say 'I told you so?'"

I giggled and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "Not at all, sir, not at all."

"Well, I'm glad we're all so happy now, but I'm still starving here!"

We all laughed as Mike let out an exasperated sigh.

"Alright, alright. I guess we should get going anyway. It won't look good if the guests of honor are late." My mother started towards the garage, Mike trailing just behind her.

"Ready, Dad?"

He took a deep breath before grabbing the keys off the hook by the front door. "Yeah, let's go." Jack and Karen filed out the front door, my father following closely afterwards.

I turned back to face Ezra and smoothed out the lapels of the coat he'd shrugged on. "And what about you, Mr. Fitz? Are you ready to go practice getting married?"

He grinned and pecked my lips quickly. "Lead the way, Mrs. Fitz."

* * *

The rehearsal itself flew by fairly quickly—our wedding party was small and the ceremony we'd chosen was simple.

Spencer, detail-oriented as she was, had organized everything down to the minute. Ezra and I couldn't contain our laughter as she barked orders and strutted around the church like a mother hen making sure all was ready for the next day.

Dinner was lively affair. Between the jokes of Ezra's groomsmen, Hardy and David, and Hanna's flirtatious demeanor, there was never a dull moment. My side ached from giggling, and I was fairly certain that my grin didn't falter until the end of the night when Hanna mentioned leaving. It was just the girls, Ezra, David, Hardy, and I left at the table—my family and his father and aunt had headed home about an hour earlier, claiming the need for sleep.

"So Hardy, do you think we can tear the two of them apart for the night?" Personally, I don't think they'll make it."

Hardy chuckled and swallowed the last of his Jack Daniels. "Oh, I'm sure we'll think of something to keep Ezra distracted, won't we David."

A wicked smirk spread across the young man's lips. "Shouldn't be too hard. In fact, I think I have just the thing in mind. Ezra, you remember that place over on Fifth Street? Bet they're open tonight."

Ezra's bark of laughter and subsequent comment did little to reassure me. "Guys, I'm not sure if Aria would appreciate that too much."

"No, I'm sure I wouldn't." I folded my arms across my chest and huffed lightly.

Everyone laughed and Ezra kissed my temple. "They're only kidding, love. Aren't you guys?"

The nodded. "Of course."

"They're totally not kidding."

I shot Hanna a glare and she seemed to shrink into her chair. "Okay, they're kidding."

I rolled my eyes and met Spencer's amused gaze from across the table. She smirked and arched her eyebrow at me, as if to say _want to have some fun?_

I grinned and slid my hand up Ezra's arm. "Spencer, weren't you telling me earlier about the male stripper Melissa hired for her bachelorette party? Do you still have his number?"

Ezra choked on his beer, coughing and spluttering while the rest of us laughed. "Excuse me?"

"Wasn't his name Brad something or other?"

"Yeah, his name was Brad. God, he had the best abs on the planet and that ass! I'm sure I could call Melissa and get the phone number right now." She reached for her phone, and let out an astonished bark of laughter as Ezra snatched it off the table.

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

Ezra arched his eyebrows at me. "Are you serious?"

I grinned and took Spencer's phone from his hand. "Dead serious."

His jaw dropped and I tossed the cell back to Spencer. "Maybe we should wait until after the guys leave, Spence. I'm not sure if Ezra can handle it."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

She tucked her phone into her bag and stood up from the table. "You guys ready to go? It looks like they're getting ready to close up shop." She gestured towards the rest of the restaurant where waiters were beginning to dim the lights and mop things up.

"Yup. All set."

Ezra, still in shock went to pay the bill while the rest of us filed out of the front doors and into the parking lot. I lingered behind the others, waiting on one of the benches for Ezra.

He emerged a few minutes later, a worried frown upon his face. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers toying lightly with the warm fleece of his scarf. "I was only kidding about the stripper thing."

He let out a sigh of relief, his breath hot against my chilled cheeks. "Thank, God. "

I rolled my eyes and kissed the corner of his mouth lightly. "Did you honestly think I was serious?"

He shrugged and smiled shyly. "Yeah, I guess I did."

I giggled and tugged him closer. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather just spend the night with me?"

He kissed my forehead gently. "I'd much rather spend the night with you. But I'm pretty sure Hardy and David would kill me—the girls probably feel the same way too."

"Yeah, you're right. Hanna's been planning this for weeks."

He groaned. "No strippers, right?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I told her to keep it simple."

"Is that word even in her vocabulary?"

I chuckled. "Probably not."

Behind us, a car horn honked and I glanced over his shoulder to see who it was. Hanna and Emily were practically hanging out of the backseat window while Spencer was at the wheel. "Come on, Aria! You'll see him tomorrow—and then you're stuck with him for the rest of your life."

I shook my head. "I need to get going."

He nodded. "Yeah, me too. Promise me you'll show up tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it. Nothing crazy tonight, right?"

"Not if I have any say in it. Now get going, Hanna looks like she's about to get out of the car."

I stretched up on my toes to kiss him, our lips lingering over the others for a few long moments. When I pulled away he was grinning, and I quirked an eyebrow at him. "What is it?"

"The next time I kiss you, you'll be Mrs. Ezra Fitz."

My smile grew to match his, and I brushed a lock of curly hair back from his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

I turned on my heel to go, heading for the car and a very excited Hanna. I paused as I opened the car door to glance back at Ezra and wave. He waved back and grinned before walking towards the other side of the lot where Hardy had parked his truck.

"Get in, Aria! You're letting all the heat out."

I shook my head and climbed in, buckling myself up for what was sure to be a long night.

* * *

Hanna surprised me that night, and in the best of ways. Instead of the grand party or crazy outing I'd expected, she'd set up the ultimate slumber party—complete with Chinese takeout, Ben&Jerry's, and an array of romantic comedies. It was just like old times, the four of us clustered around the coffee table in her living room, seated on the couch cushions and wrapped warmly in fleece throw blankets. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect way to end my life as a single woman.

"Thank you, guys for everything."

Emily smiled. "There's nothing to thank us for. Here, this is your present from all of us."

I took the box from her hands and tore the hot pink paper off excitedly. "What is it?"

"Open it and find out!"

The mysterious look on Hanna's face worried me and I paused before removing the lid. "It's not anything dirty, is it?"

Spencer shrugged her shoulders. "Why don't you look for yourself?"

I pried the lid off slowly, and brushed the tissue paper away gently. A loud giggle escaped me as my gaze fell upon the contents of the box. Inside was an array of very lacy, very tiny, and very colorful sets of bras and panties. I held up a canary yellow thong that was clearly two sizes too small.

"Didn't you get the memo, guys? I'm four months pregnant, there's no way any of this will fit."

"But they're elastic. See watch." Hanna took it from my hand and snapped the underwear across the room. "Just like a rubber band."

I laughed and set the box on the coffee table. "Thanks, I think."

The three of them giggled and Emily pulled out another box from behind the couch, this one larger and wrapped in deep purple paper. "We're kidding. That's just for fun. This is your real present."

I took the box from her hands. It was much, much heavier than the last. "Go on, Aria! I can't wait to see your face."

I eyed them skeptically, but unwrapped the gift, gasping softly as I realized what it was. "You guys made me a scrapbook?"

"Mhmm. It's got pictures of everything: the first day of kindergarten, freshman year, prom, graduation."

Tears stung my eyes and I flipped through the first few pages.

"We thought you'd like to have something to remember your poor single friends by once you're a married woman."

I sniffled and set the book down before leaning over to embrace each of them in turn. "This is amazing. But you guys will always be my best friends. Nothing, not even a husband, will change that."

"Aria, don't cry. I mean it!"

I wiped a tear away and grinned at Hanna. "I can't help it! Hanna, have I told you how much I love you lately?"

She groaned and her eyes welled up with tears. "Damn it, Aria! My makeup's going to be all messed up."

We all laughed and I tugged the heavy book back into my lap, studying each picture with great intensity and reminiscing about the memory that came with each.

"Where did you guys even get some of these pictures? This is incredible!"

"Well, it turns out between our four mothers thousands of pictures were taken. We just chose the best ones."

"Do you guys remember this?" I pointed towards a picture of the four of us in the sixth grade, strapped into a roller coaster ride.

"Of course! Emily threw up right after that was taken, and a few hours later I had my first kiss."

We laughed as Hanna sighed thoughtfully. "Thomas was cute, wasn't he? Course, the kiss wasn't very good, but…"

"Hanna?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

I'm not sure how late it was when we finally put away the scrapbook, threw away the trash, and turned off the TV. It felt good to talk for hours about everything and nothing and to laugh until we cried. In many ways, it was the closing of one chapter of my life and the beginning of another—I couldn't have thought of a better way to turn the page myself.

We split up to sleep, Hanna and Emily on the bed, Spencer and I on an air mattress on the floor. I lay awake long after Hanna's chattering had turned to quiet breathing, and Emily's sweet voice to quiet snores. Somehow, I knew this would be the last time I'd have a true sleepover with my best friends, and the thought saddened me. Eighteen year old girls weren't supposed to have to do that—they weren't supposed to have to give up being young to settle down with a family. My gut churned as anxiety and doubt begin to creep in—was I making the right decision?

"Spence?"

Her voice was low when she spoke, her face near mine as she rolled to look at me. "Yeah?"

"What if I'm making a mistake?"

"Aria, what are you talking about?"

"Marrying Ezra. What if I'm rushing into this?"

She sighed. "You're not."

"But what if I am? I'm young, what if I'm only doing this because I'm having his child—is that really a reason to commit for a lifetime?"

"No, but Aria, that' s not why you're getting married."

"Yeah but…"

"But nothing. No more what ifs. God, I never thought I'd be the one to tell someone to get married so young. You're doing the right thing, Aria. I've never seen two people who love each other so much—it makes me sick."

"I just don' t know—forever is a really long time."

"Is there anyone else you'd rather spend it with?"

"No. Oh, God. I don't think I can do this."

"Aria, get a grip! You love Ezra and I know if you back out now you'll regret it for the rest of your life. It's just cold feet—it's normal."

I sighed heavily and nodded. "You're right."

"I know. Now let's get some sleep, tomorrow's going to be a long day."

"Thank you, Spencer."

"You're welcome, Aria."

She rolled back onto her side, and I flipped towards the window, my gaze settling on the stars and full moon lighting up the night sky. I was making the right decision, wasn't I?

**A/N: This chapter gave me quite a headache, so I hope you guys like it! Only two more chapters to go! I need a destination for the honeymoon—winner will be mentioned in the next chapter like it was with the baby names. The last chapters will be up this week since I'm on break and don't really have anything better to do. Also, make sure to check out my new blog for updates and links to all of my writing. Check my profile for the link!**


	30. A Marriage?

**Miserable at Best: Chapter 29**

The shrill chirping of my cell phone woke me the next morning—I really needed to change the ringtone to something less harsh. With bleary eyes and a soft groan, I fumbled with one hand on the floor for a few seconds before my fingertips closed over the cold plastic of the phone and brought it to my ear. "Hello?"

_"Good morning, beautiful wife-to-be."_

Even in my exhausted, groggy state, I couldn't help but manage a small, sleepy grin. "Is it even morning yet?""

Ezra laughed. _"Yeah, it's just after seven, but I've been up since five."_ His voice was laced with excitement, and I could practically see the caffeine racing through his blood stream.

"Five am? You've been awake since five? Ezra, how much coffee have you had?" I glanced over at Spencer and then towards the bed where Hanna and Emily lay; they were all sleeping.

_"Only two cups give or take three."_

I stifled a giggle and climbed off the air mattress, doing my best not to jostle Spencer in the process. "How was last night?"

_"Fine—turns out I'm not as much fun as they thought I was going to be."_

"I don't suppose you went anywhere near fifth street?"

He chuckled. _"Nope, we stayed clear of that side of town. I take it Brad didn't make an appearance either?"_

I snagged a throw blanket from the foot of Hanna's bed and wrapped it tightly around my shoulders before heading out into the hallway. "Sadly, no. The closest I got to male abs was Taylor Lautner's chest in New Moon."

_"Who?" _

I giggled at his confusion and curled up in the window seat at the end of the hallway. "Vampires, werewolves, eternal love, etc. Hanna's choice of a movie, not mine."

_"Ahh—alright?"_

He still sounded confused and I laughed. "Never mind. So was there any specific reason you called, or did you just want to hear my wonderful voice?"

I rested my forehead against the frosted windowpane and settled a hand over my stomach, my thumb rubbing small circles on the skin just below my bellybutton.

_"Both, actually. Your mom wanted to know if there was anything she needed to pick up before she meets you guys for breakfast."_

"I don't think so—actually could you ask her to grab the dark purple nail polish from my desk drawer? "

He chuckled and I could practically see his eye roll. _"Fingernail polish it is. Anything else?"_

"Not that I can think of."

He was silent for a minute, the sound of his soft breathing the only thing I could hear. And then, in the most tender and awestruck voice I'd ever heard, _"Aria, we'll be married in less that twelve hours."_

"I know. I can hardly wrap my head around the thought. Any second thoughts?" Part of me wanted him to say that he was as frightened as me—that I wasn't the only on e struggling to come to terms with the lifetime commitment of marriage.

_"No—but I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my entire life." _He let out a shaky breath and then in a quiet voice, _"What about you? No plans to jilt me at the altar a-la-runaway bride style, right?"_

I closed my eyes and sighed softly, my mind flashing back to our first successful date in his apartment nearly three years prior. We'd sat facing one another on opposite sides of the rug, sipping on Cokes and choking down the most god-awful tasting leftovers. In that moment, even at such a tender age as sixteen, I'd known that he was it for me—that no matter how inappropriate our relationship and age difference was, we were soulmates.

_"Aria, you're starting to scare me!"_

'What? Oh—sorry. I was just thinking about the first time we had dinner at your apartment. Do you remember?"

_"Of course, but what does that have to do with the wedding—wait, you're not going to walk out like you did that night, are you? _

Had he not sounded so utterly desperate and petrified, I might've laughed.

"No!"

He heaved a huge sigh of relief and I could picture the worried crease of his brow smoothing out.

"Actually, I was thinking about how I knew you were the one for me—even if you were a miserable cook."

_"Hey, it wasn't that bad."_

"It was. I'm pretty sure I couldn't get the taste of burnt bread out of my mouth for two days." We laughed, and I traced a small heart in the fogged up window. "Ezra, when did you know—that we were meant to be, I mean?"

_"Honestly,"_ he chuckled and a slow grin spread over my lips, _"when you barged in that same night, yelling at me about cornering you in class. No woman had ever scared me like that, but at the same time I'd never been so relieved to see anyone. _

I giggled. "I may have been overreacting a little bit."

_"You overreacting? Never."_

My answering laughter was cut off by the sound of an opening door, and I glanced down the hallway just in time to see Spencer, Emily, and Hanna emerge from the bedroom. "Listen, I've got to go, but I'll see you at six?"

_"Of course, I'll be there. I'm the one who'll be at the end of the aisle in a tux looking like I'm about to pass out, remember?"_

"Yeah, and I'll be the one in white. I love you, Ezra."

"I love you too. See you in a few." He hung up and I lowered the phone from my ear.

"Good morning, Mrs. Fitz!"

I slid off my seat and met the girls in the middle of the hallway. "Yes, Hanna. It is a good morning."

"Who was on the phone, Aria?"

I opened my mouth to answer Emily, but Spencer spoke first. 'Who do you think it was, Em? I mean if her grin gets any goofier, people will think she's a clown."

The giggled and my smile grew wider. "It was Ezra. He just wanted to make sure that I didn't need anything."

"Or that you hadn't changed your mind." Hanna's quip earned a snort from Emily and a sharp jab in the ribs from Spencer. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For being insensitive."

"What? Wait—Aria, you are getting married today aren't you?"

"Yes, Hanna, I am. A very good friend helped me realize what I wanted last night." I smiled warmly at Spencer and shrugged the blankets off my shoulders. "Now come on, we have a long day ahead of us."

The skies cleared as the day wore on, and as late afternoon came to a close, I was fairly certain that the sunrise ceremony I'd longed for would be reality. Sometime between lunch and my arrival at the church for last minute preparations, I found myself wishing that things would slow down—the day was quickly becoming a blur and I didn't want my only memories of it to come from the pictures the photographer had been snapping all day. Relief finally came in the form of my hair appointment. We'd converted one of the Sunday school classrooms into a makeshift dressing room, laying out dresses, make up, and accessories over the desks.

For more than an hour, I sat and had my haired curled into the most perfect ringlets while Hanna painted my toenails with the deep purple polish my mother had brought. Emily sat beside me, hot rollers in her hair and a Cosmopolitan magazine in her hand. Spencer, who'd had her hair done first, had dashed off nearly twenty minutes prior to solve some sort of mysterious crisis.

"So has Mr. Romance told you where he's taking you for the honeymoon yet?"

I glanced over at Emily and shook my head—or rather barely shook my head since my hair was clamped tightly in the heated barrel of the curling iron. "Nope, not even a hint."

"Does it bother you? You've never exactly been the type for surprises, at least not when you're on the receiving end."

I shrugged. "Not really, I trust him." A sharp tug on my scalp drew my attention away from Emily. "Ouch! Easy, Lucy."

The raven haired woman doing my hair smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Aria, but I need you to hold still. I'm almost done."

Only a few years older than me, Lucy was a former babysitter of mine, and when she'd come back to Rosewood nearly four years ago, freshly graduated with a degree in cosmetology I'd hired her as my go-to hairdresser.

"Sorry, Luce."

She twisted another piece of my hair around the heated barrel and held it there for a few seconds. "So what's Ezra like, aside from being devastatingly handsome?" She released the lock of hair and it bounced into a springy curl on my shoulder.

Hanna and Emily groaned in unison. "Really, Luce? She's never going to shut up, and the way she talks about him makes him sound like there's no hope for the rest of us—there can't be more than one perfect guy in this world."

"He's not perfect." I giggled and bit my lip softly in thought before replying. "But he's pretty close. He makes me laugh, and we have so much in common. He's brilliant and witty, a bit clumsy and messy, and a terrible cook, but he always knows just the thing to say, and…"

Lucy laughed and shook her head. "Alright, alright. I get it. Now, Aria, up or down?" She unplugged the curling iron and set it on the counter.

I studied my reflection in the mirror for a brief moment before shifting my gaze down towards Hanna. "What do you think, Han?"

"Up, it'll be much cooler."

I glanced back up at Lucy in the mirror. "Up it is."

Twenty minutes later, my hair had been twisted into an elaborate, loose knot at the nape of my neck, with a few curly strands escaping to frame my face softly. "There, all done. What do you think?"

"Aria, you look beautiful!"

I smiled at Hanna. "Thank you, Han. And thank you, Lucy, it's amazing."

She blushed and started to pack up her stuff. "You're welcome. Is there anything else I could do?"

I shook my head. "Nope, I think we're good."

"Are you sure? I could…"

"Lucy, go home. You still have to get yourself ready—the wedding's in less than two hours."

"Alright, I'll see you later tonight." She slung her bag over her shoulder and headed out the door, leaving Hanna, Emily, and I alone in our makeshift dressing room.

'"Do you want me to do your make up now or later, Aria?"

"Let's wait a while Hanna. Do you know if my Mom's still around here somewhere? Maybe she can run and go get us something to eat—I'm starving."

"She's not. She dashed off when Spencer did awhile ago."

We lapsed into silence; only the occasional crinkling of a magazine page as it was flipped breaking the stillness. Then, just when I was about to suggest going in search of something to eat ourselves—partly because I hadn't eaten since brunch, and partly because I was bored out of my mind—our phones chimed…at the same time.

Out of habit more than anything else, we tensed, each of us reliving the fear 'A' had caused. Hanna reached for her cell first, relief evident on her face as she read the first message.

"It's only Spencer, apparently the crisis has been averted."

Pulse slowing down, I too grabbed my phone off the counter and read the message from Spencer—crisis averted indeed. Emily didn't look at her phone. Instead, she curled her legs to her chest and dropped her chin to her knees. I'd never seen her look so vulnerable, or shaken, with the possible exception of the day they found Alison's body.

"Em, are you okay?"

She sighed heavily and wrapped her arms about herself, drawing her knees even closer to her stomach. "I'm fine, but do you ever wonder what happened? I mean, does it bother you guys that we don't know anything about who 'A' was, or why the harassment abruptly stopped?"

"Sometimes." Hanna moved to sit on the couch next to Emily, curling her legs beneath her and clutching a throw pillow to her chest. "I try not to think about it, but there's always some part of me that wonders if 'A' is gone for good."

"She," I sighed, "he…it is gone for good. What reason is there to come back? Ali's killer is in prison and everyone who knew anything has moved away or moved on. And I refuse to let old fears ruin today, so can we find something else to talk about?"

"Aria's right. Worrying about this is pointless."

Hanna nodded and stood up. "I'm going to make sure the coast is clear, and then we can go find something to eat. The last thing we need is the groom seeing his bride before the wedding."

I laughed and buttoned up my coat. "Well hurry up, I'm starving!"

Nearly an hour and a half later, my hunger had been sated, my makeup had been done, and I'd been laced and buttoned into my gown. The girls had dressed also; each of them looked stunning in their midnight blue dresses. At five forty-five, just fifteen minutes before the ceremony was set to begin I kicked the girls out, both so I could have a few minutes alone with my family and so that I could have time to myself without their constant hovering.

Mike stopped in first, his tailored tux fitting him wonderfully and making him appear far older than his sixteen years.

"Geez, sis! You look as nervous as Ezra does. You'd think the two of you were facing the gallows instead of getting married."

I laughed and hugged him as tightly as I could without wrinkling his suit. "Thanks for the support—so he's nervous?"

"I don't think nervous is a strong enough word. He hasn't stopped pacing the foyer since we got here. Honestly, I'm not sure if he'll make it through the whole thing without passing out."

I rolled my eyes and stepped into the heels Hanna had laid out for me. "He'd better. Listen, I really want to thank you for doing what you did last night. If you hadn't stepped in I'm not really sure what Dad would've done."

"Anytime, Aria. Besides, I'm kind of coming around to Ezra—even if he is old."

I smacked him playfully on the shoulder and pushed him towards the door. "Very funny. Now you'd better get back out there and make sure Ezra's still breathing. I have a feeling Mom and Dad will be in in just a minute."

"I'm gone, I'm gone. A guy knows when he's not wanted."

He opened the door, and just before he stepped out into the hallway he turned to look at me one last time. "By the way, Aria, you look beautiful. And I'm happy to see you so happy."

Tears stung at my eyes, and before I had a chance to respond he was gone. My parents entered just seconds later, both of them a bit red around the eyes.

"Have you guys been crying?"

My mother sniffled and then laughed. "No, of course not." She moved to stand beside me, adjusting my veil one final time and kissing my cheek. "I can't believe I'm about to watch you walk down the aisle."

"I can hardly believe it myself, Mom. I want to thank you for everything, I couldn't have done this without your help."

"There's nothing to thank me for. It isn't very often that a mother gets to plan her only daughter's wedding." She embraced me warmly before stepping aside and allowing my father to do the same.

"Ready, Aria?"

I took a deep breath and nodded before picking up my bouquet. "As I'll ever be."

My mother left the room first, followed closely by my father and I. Hanna, Emily, and Spencer were waiting in the entry hall, the doors to the inner church closed and curtained so that I couldn't see in. "Is everyone already seated?"

Spencer nodded. "Except for your mom."

"Oh right!" My mother squeezed my hand tightly just once before slipping through the side door and into the church.

"What about Ezra? He's up there with Mike and the other guys right?"

"Last time I checked he was."

Brushing past Emily and a protesting Hanna, I moved towards the door and pushed the white curtains aside the tiniest bit so that I could peer in. The pews were packed, both with a Ezra's friends and family that I had yet to meet, and several familiar faces from Rosewood. Emily's mother, Mrs. Marin, and Spencer's parents were seated just behind my mother. Jack and Karen sat on the opposite side, both of them flanked by younger looking men, whom I assumed to be more friends of Ezra's. And there, standing next to Hardy was Ezra, looking just as Mike said he had—nervous and a bit terrified. Regardless of his countenance however, he was still breathtakingly handsome in his tuxedo and blue tie, with a white rose tucked into the lapel of his jacket.

Hardy leaned over to whisper something in his ear, before pointing towards the doors where I was standing. A grin curved on Ezra's lips, and my gaze caught his for the briefest moment before I was yanked backwards rather roughly by Hanna's well manicured hands.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Looking at Ezra."

She sighed and readjusted the strap of my dress. "I know that, but what happened to the whole no-seeing-the-bride-before-the-wedding thing?"

"Well, since the wedding's supposed to start in," I glanced over at the clock on the wall, "two minutes, I'd say we're pretty safe from bad luck."

"Wait? There's only two minutes left? Everyone needs to line up!" Spencer's anxiety ridden interjection amused us all and I couldn't help but giggle at the worried expression on her face.

"Relax, Spence. Everyone's here. Just put them where they need to be."

She sighed heavily. "Right well, Emily you're first, then me, then Hanna, then…you."

We all lined up, and I took my father's arm. "See, Spence. That wasn't so hard."

"Is everyone ready?"

I nodded and gripped my father's arm tightly.

Spencer nodded towards two of Mike's friends who'd agreed to be ushers and they opened the door. The music started and I turned to my father with a nervous smile.

"Ready, Dad?"

"I suppose, but more importantly, are you?"

"I am."

Hanna stepped out of line quickly to readjust my train and kiss my cheek softly. "Looks like you're finally getting your happily ever after ending, Aria."

I smiled and shook my head at her as she took her place in front of me, before glancing up the aisle to where Ezra stood. "No, Hanna, my happily ever after is just beginning."

**A/N: That ending might be gag worthy with its cheesiness, but it seemed fitting. Only one more chapter to go, and it's the wedding reception. There can't be much drama in cake and music, can there? The honeymoon location didn't work itself into this chapter, but it will be revealed in the finale, so suggestions are still being taken. I'm thinking something that has literary significance. Also, since it is the final chapter, I can promise that there will be no Christines or Evelyns or Noels (although if he does show up he will play nice), and there will be plenty of fluffiness. As always: Review! Review! Review! And make sure to check out my blog (Links on my profile, and you can subscribe with your email address for automatic updates) for news the next story I'm working on, clues for the finale, and links to all my other writing. **


	31. Save The Last Dance For Me

**Miserable At Best: Chapter 30**

A/N: Here's the last chapter! I'l spare you the sappy concluding author's note-I had one written. Instead, just read, enjoy, and don't forget to tell me what you think!

* * *

In the years that followed our wedding, I wouldn't be able to recall the minor details—the exact color of the seed pearls I'd picked to be placed into my bouquet, the number of people in the pews, or the shade of my mother's dress. One thing I would never forget however, the only thing I would remember with certain clarity, was the way Ezra looked in his black tuxedo and midnight blue tie, the warm light of the fading sun highlighting the brightness of his eyes. He was smiling so radiantly and so tenderly that I nearly forgot that the pace of my steps down the aisle was supposed to be even and smooth—the only thing that kept me from rushing towards him was the heavy weight of my father's hand upon my arm. And I'd never pegged myself as the type that cried at weddings, I'd never been the sentimental and emotional one, but by the time I choked out my "I do," I was in tears.

There was also a very good chance that when we were pronounced man and wife I forgot how to breathe. My focus was on much more important matters, like the feel of my _husband's_ lips upon my own and the strength of his arms as he crushed me against him. In all, the ceremony lasted just under twenty minutes, and inevitably my fear that things would blur in the rush of the moment became reality. However, those few important things—those details that mattered most—were imprinted in my mind for eternity.

"I love you, Mrs. Fitz."

I grinned as Ezra said my name. He'd said it before, but now that we were actually married, the sound of the syllables rolling of his tongue was sweeter.

"And I love you, Mr. Fitz."

He chuckled and leaned down to brush his lips against mine softly one more time, before taking my hand and tugging me down the aisle. "Come on, you're mother looks like she's about to hug you _again_, and we have an hour before the reception starts. I want to spend it with you—not, as much as I love all of them," he cast a furtive glance towards his family and mine, "weeping relatives."

I giggled and waved a quick goodbye over my shoulder towards my parents. "Lead the way."

* * *

The minute the door to my former makeshift dressing room clicked shut, Ezra had me in his arms, the his fingers splayed across soft lace that covered my lower back. "You look beautiful."

I grinned and loosened the knot on his tie. "You don't look half bad yourself, although I am sort of sad that you refused to wear the vest I picked out."

His lips quirked apologetically and the bright light in his eyes dimmed a bit.

"I'm kidding." I rolled my eyes and stretched up on my tiptoes to kiss his chin. "Haven't you figured me out yet?"

He chuckled quietly and toyed gently with a small curl tucked behind my ear. "Nope. I've got a whole lifetime to do that, remember?"

Before I could respond, his lips had dropped to my neck, the kisses he pressed against my cool skin sending my pulse racing.

"Mhmm. We have years and years and years."

His dark gaze met mine and I smiled warmly, before arching up as tall as my petite frame would allow and wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. "And we have years to do this." I kissed him tenderly, all the restraint I'd guarded so carefully during the ceremony crumbling away as passion overtook decency. I broke away only when his fingers found the buttons on my dress and beginning slipping them out of their loopholes one by one.

"Later." It was both a sigh and a promise.

He nodded and redid the few fastenings he'd managed to undo. "Later."

I pulled away from him and turned towards the mirror, carefully removing my veil and laying it across one of the tables. "That was the most uncomfortable thing."

He grinned and tucked a stray bobby pin back into the twist of hair at the nape of my neck. "I like the buttons by the way; of course I hadn't planned on there being so many."

"Well, don't worry. I'm changing before we leave the reception. One of the girls will be stuck with undoing all of them—not you."

"Ahh—well in that case, I _love _the buttons. And more importantly," he hugged me from behind and pulled my back flush against his chest, "I love you."

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that." I giggled and gripped his arms tightly, letting my head fall back onto his shoulder. "Ezra?"

"Yes?"

"Since we're married now, and you said that you'd tell me after the wedding, and it's technically after the wedding—where are we going for our honeymoon?"

He laughed. "You're too curious for your own good, you know that?" Releasing me, he moved towards the other side of the room and grabbed a small wrapped package off of a desk.

I quirked an eyebrow at him—the box certainly had been there earlier. "Where did that come from?"

He smirked and handed the ivory box to me. "I have my ways."

I peeled away the paper excitedly, tearing it to shreds like a child on Christmas morning. Beneath was a copy of Ernest Hemingway's _Old Man and The Sea_, and an adorable, and very tiny purple bikini. I studied them skeptically for a moment. Clearly we were heading somewhere warm, and Ernest Hemingway had lived in…Cuba?

"We're going to—Cuba?"

He laughed and took the book from my hands. "No silly, we're going to Key West, which by the way is currently a warm and very sunny eighty degrees."

I nodded and hugged him. "You're amazing, you know that?"

He shrugged. "I know."

I swatted him playfully and held up the swimsuit. "I don't suppose you had a hand in picking this out, did you?"

"Actually, no. That was Spencer's emergency errand this afternoon. I completely forgot to get one for you before we left St. Louis. But," he took the fabric from me and laid it back into the box, "remind me to thank her for her excellent selection later."

His lips met mine again for a brief moment before pulling away. "As much as I hate to say this, we should probably get going. The reception starts in," he glanced over at the clock hanging on the wall, "fifteen minutes."

I smiled mischievously and my lips met his again in protest. "But they can't start without us, can they?"

* * *

Much to my chagrin, we were interrupted not three minutes later by a sharp rap on the door and the deceptively sweet voice of Hanna who promised to drag us out of the room if we didn't make an appearance at the restaurant in no less than ten minutes. Reluctantly, I straightened Ezra's hair from where I'd mussed it with my fingers, and smoothed the satin of my blue sash against my waist. "Let's go before she actually does come in here."

Throughout the course of the wedding planning, the girls had continually surprised me—first with the shopping trip for dresses, then with my perfect bachelorette party, and finally—finally with the unassuming and breathtaking elegance of the reception. The inn, which I'd visited several times before, had been transformed into a magical, romantic fairyland of sorts, with twinkling lights crisscrossing the ceiling, and deep red roses adorning each of the cream colored, linen draped, tables.

"Wow."

I turned towards Ezra at his exclamation and squeezed his hand lightly. "Wow is an understatement."

"This is…"

"Yeah."

Hanna, Emily, and Spencer entered the room behind us, the three of them sporting smug, and well earned smiles of delight. "What do you guys think?"

I pulled away from Ezra to embrace each of them in turn. "It's amazing! How did you even..."

"We're just good like that, I guess."

The five of us laughed and Hanna pointed out where everyone would be sitting for dinner, the dance floor, and finally the four tiered wedding cake resting on a table in the corner.

"Girls, this is unbelievable. I don't even know how to thank you." Ezra smiled at the three of them and wrapped an arm around my waist.

Emily smiled. "You don't have to thank us, just don't…"

Hanna cut her off. "Just don't break Aria's heart, Fitzy."

"Han!"

Ezra glanced down at me and kissed my forehead. "Not a chance."

The sweetness of the moment was shattered by the arrival of the rest of the guests, all of them eager to congratulate us. Things remained hectic until well after we'd eaten; I'd never been hugged so many times in such a short time. And unfortunately, Ezra and I were inevitably drawn apart—I caught chatting with people I hadn't seen since elementary school, and Ezra surrounded by friends of his that I'd yet to meet.

When things finally did settle down, it was only because Hanna cued the DJ to start the music and shoved Ezra in my direction for our first dance.

He held me gently in his arms, his forehead resting against mine and his gaze soft. "I'm not very good at this."

"Liar." I giggled as he turned me out slowly and then pulled me back in.

Behind us, cameras flashed and the quiet melody played, but I was oblivious to it all. In that moment, the only thing that mattered was the feel of Ezra so close to me, and the warmth of his lips as they ghosted over my forehead. "I love you, Aria Fitz."

I wasn't really sure how long we danced, but all too soon, or at least that's the way it felt, Ezra was pulled away from me by his Aunt and my father swooped in to partner with me.

"You've never looked more beautiful."

I smiled and kissed his cheek softly. "Thank you, Dad."

"And I'm sorry for making this so difficult—it's just hard for a father to watch his little girl grow up so fast."

I nodded and wiped a tiny tear from the corner of his eye. "Don't cry, because then I will and mascara will be all down my face."

We laughed. "I'm not crying."

We took a few more turns around the dance floor before the song ended. "Aria, promise me one thing."

"Anything, Dad."

"When this baby's born, come home to visit."

"Of course. I'm sure your grandson would love to meet you."

He froze and glanced down at me. "It's a boy?"

I nodded. "I just found out the other day."

He laughed and hugged me tightly for a moment before stepping back. "Congratulations. I…" he trailed off and as something over my shoulder caught his eye. "We'll talk about this later. A young man is getting pretty impatient over there."

He inclined his head towards the far corner of the dance floor, and I turned my head to glance over my shoulder. Ezra stood there, a small smile playing on his lips, and his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants.

I met my father's gaze again and hugged him tightly one last time. "I love you, Dad."

"And I love you, Aria, no matter how grown up you get." He walked away, and I headed over towards Ezra.

"What were you two talking about?"

I wrapped my arms around my husband's neck and stepped back into the rhythm of the dance. "The baby—it seems like we'll be coming back to Rosewood this summer. He's in an awful hurry to meet his grandson now."

Ezra chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "Funny how things work out for the better isn't it?"

Things began to slow as eleven o'clock drew near, and Ezra and I were whisked away into one of the bedrooms to change into something more comfortable for our flight to Florida. I, with much reservation, gave into the girls' pleas to wear the black yoga pants and hoodie they'd bought me. Printed across the back of the sweatshirt in hot pink letters and glittery white rhinestones, was the word bride. Ezra fared much better, escaping with a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Or at least I thought he had until he turned around. There, printed in the same shade of fuchsia as my own, was the word 'groom.'

I couldn't contain my giggles, and ended up nearly doubled over on the bed.

"What's so funny?"

I just smiled and shook my head.

"Come on, Aria. Spill it."

"Did you look at the clothes before you put them on?"

He glanced down at what he was wearing and shook his head. "No, why?"

"Because," I climbed off the mattress and turned him towards the full length mirror, "it seems Hanna got a bit too happy with her bedazzler."

Ezra groaned. "I'm not wearing this."

I shook my head. "You are, at least until we leave here anyways. Just humor them for a bit."

He looked at me skeptically before shrugging. "Alright, but when I stop for gas on the way to the airport, I'm changing."

"Fair enough." I pecked him on the lips quickly before opening the door and leading him back down to the reception.

* * *

We said our goodbyes to everyone less than half an hour later, and climbed into the grey sedan that Ezra had picked up from the rental place. "Ready to go, Mrs. Fitz?"

I nodded and interlaced my fingers with his over the console. "Very ready."

He pulled out onto the main road and we lapsed into silence, both of us content with our own thoughts for the moment. My phone buzzed a few minutes later and I smiled as I read the text from Emily. _Tell Ezra I took pity on him and there's a plain t-shirt right on top of the suitcases in the trunk._

I laughed and Ezra looked at me questioningly. "What?"

"You should thank Emily too. She put a regular shirt in the back for you."

He smiled. "I knew I liked your friends…well two of them at least." Turning off the highway, he stopped at the first gas station and popped open the trunk. "I'll be back in just a few minutes. Do you want anything?"

"A bottle of water would be great."

He leaned over and kissed me quickly. "Water it is."

I watched his retreating form for a few seconds before settling back into the seat. The glint of my ring in the bright lights of the gas station caught my eye and I twisted it thoughtfully around my finger. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined that the two of us would be reunited, married, and with a baby on the way in the span of just a few short months. Yet, I wouldn't have had it any other way—I couldn't imagine in any other way.

With a happy sigh, and I reached towards the dash board and turned the radio on low, the quiet sounds of mellow music drifting out lazily. My phone buzzed again in the cup holder, and I picked it up expecting another message from one of the girls.

The screen was lit up with a message not from a friend, but from a terrifying and old enemy.

_Enjoy the honeymoon, Mrs. Fitz, because when you get back I promise you'll be miserable at best._

_~A_

_**Fin. **_


End file.
